Forever, With You

Emily took a bite, feeling overwhelmed with joy that the little girl wanted to share with her. “Yum!” she said brightly, though she was struggling to hold back her joyful tears.

“Does Daddy want some?” Emily suggested. The last thing she wanted was for Daniel to feel left out, even though a mouthful of sparkly rainbow cotton candy was probably the last thing he’d ever want to consume.

Chantelle shyly held the cotton candy stick up to Daniel. Daniel pulled his mouth open, making it exaggeratedly large, then made a huge chomping noise as he took a pretend bite of the cotton candy, making loud munching noises. Chantelle dissolved into giggles. It was the first time Daniel had let loose, had behaved in a goofy manner with Chantelle. Emily caught Daniel’s eye and wiggled her eyebrows. He flashed her a triumphant smile of accomplishment.

As the parade started, the family stood on the sidewalk and watched the tractors pass. Everyone in Sunset Harbor was out for the day and Emily greeted many of her friends. She no longer felt awkward about appearing in public with Daniel and Chantelle. This was what she wanted and if people disapproved, then that didn’t matter to her.

But just as Emily was feeling her most confident yet, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and a sensation like ice washed over her. Trevor Mann was standing there looking smug and toad-like.

He smoothed down his moustache. “I’m surprised to see you here, Emily,” he said.

Emily folded her arms and sighed, knowing instinctively that Trevor was going to try to bring her down. “And why’s that, Trevor?” she said, dryly. “Please tell me. I’m dying to know.”

Trevor smiled in his crooked, horrible way. “I just wanted to remind you that your extension on the back taxes is running out. You have until Thanksgiving to get them all paid up.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Emily replied coolly, but the reminder was less than welcome. Emily still had no idea how she was going to find the money to pay them off.

She watched Trevor turn on his heel and disappear, leaving Emily feeling cold and terrified.

*

Chantelle seemed to have taken an instant liking to Serena, so Emily invited her back to the house for dinner. Emily decided to make a massive meal of fajitas. She wanted Chantelle to feel secure and loved, stimulated with activities and nourished with sustenance. So while Serena and Chantelle played on the piano together in the living room, Daniel and Emily cooked up all kinds of different dishes in the kitchen.

“I don’t know if she’s even tried half this stuff,” Daniel said as he mixed up some homemade salsa. “Tomatoes. Avocados. It’s probably all new to her.”

“She didn’t eat well at home?” Emily asked. But she knew the answer. Of course not. Her mom couldn’t even keep a roof over the child’s head or buy her enough pairs of pants to last a week; the chances of her nourishing Chantelle were slim to none.

“It was a chips and Pop-tarts kind of house,” Daniel replied, his jaw stiff. “No routine. Just eat when you’re hungry.”

Emily could see how much pain he carried in the way his shoulders hunched, by the frantic way he smooshed the avocados into guacamole like there was no tomorrow.

Emily walked over and gently ran her hands down his arms, until the tension seemed to melt from his muscles.

“She’s got us now,” Emily soothed him. “She’ll be clean. She’ll be fed. She’ll be safe. Okay?”

Daniel nodded. “I just feel like we have so much time to make up for. Like, can we ever really erase what she went through when I wasn’t there for her?”

Emily’s heart dropped. Did Daniel really feel responsible for the years he couldn’t control? For all those months, weeks, and days he’d been unable to love and care for Chantelle?

“We can,” Emily told him firmly. “You can.”

Daniel sighed and Emily could tell he wasn’t completely buying it, that her words were going in one ear and out the other. It would take time before he felt okay about his absence at the beginning of Chantelle’s life. Emily just hoped his moping wouldn’t push the little girl away from him.

The food was ready so they all went into the dining room to eat. At the huge antique dark oak table, Chantelle looked tiny. Her elbows barely rested on the tabletop. The room hadn’t exactly been designed with children in mind.

“I’ll fetch her a cushion,” Serena said, laughing.

Just then, Emily noticed that Chantelle was crying.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” she said gently. “I know you’re low down but Serena will get a cushion and then you’ll be able to sit as tall as a princess.”

Chantelle shook her head. That wasn’t what had upset her, but she didn’t seem to be able to express in words what had.

“Is it the food?” Daniel worried. “Too spicy? Too much? You don’t have to eat it all. Or any of it. We can get takeout.” He turned to Emily, his words tumbling out with anguish. “Why didn’t we get takeout?”

Emily raised her eyebrows as if to tell him to cool it, to not add any unnecessary emotion to the situation. Then she drew back her chair, stood, went over to Chantelle, and knelt beside her.

“Chantelle, you can speak to us,” she said as gently as possible. “Me and your daddy. We’re here for you and we won’t be angry.”

Chantelle leaned into Emily and whispered. Her voice was so quiet as to be almost inaudible. But Emily just managed to make out the words she’d uttered, and as understanding seeped into Emily’s mind, a bolt of emotion struck her heart.

“She said they’re happy tears,” Emily relayed to Daniel.

She watched the breath of relief rush from Daniel’s chest, and the glitter of tears in his eyes.

*

Later that evening, it was time for Emily and Daniel to put Chantelle to bed.

“I want Emily to do it,” Chantelle requested, taking her hand.

Emily and Daniel exchanged a glance. Emily could tell by the way he shrugged that he was disappointed to be excluded.

“Say goodnight to Daddy then,” Emily prompted.

Chantelle ran over to him and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before returning to Emily, where she clearly seemed more comfortable.

Of all the motherly tasks Emily had had to do in the last twenty-four hours, this was the most nerve-wracking for her. She tucked the little girl into the large four-poster bed in the room next to the master, tucking her teddy from the parade in beside her and Andy Pandy on the other side.

“Would you like a bedtime story?” Emily asked Chantelle. Her father had always read to her at night; she wanted to recreate that magic for Chantelle.

The little girl nodded, her sleepy eyes already beginning to droop.

Emily ran down to the library and found her old copy of Alice in Wonderland. It had been a favorite of hers as a kid, and when she’d found the old, dusty copy in the house when she’d first arrived she’d been overwhelmed. It made her happy to know she could give the book a new lease on life and bring the joy contained within its pages to someone new.

She took the book back upstairs and sat in a chair beside the bed, just like her father used to do. As she began to read, Emily felt memories swirl up inside of her. Her own voice transformed into her father’s as she felt herself being transported back in time.

She was tucked in bed, the blankets up to her armpits. The room was lit with candlelight. She could see the banisters of the mezzanine ahead of her and realized she was in the huge room at the back of the house, the room she and Charlotte shared. Though she was fighting to stay awake, to keep listening to the wonderful story her father was reading, her eyelids were beginning to feel heavy and droop. A moment later she became aware of the darkness enveloping her and the sound of her father’s footsteps as he climbed down the mezzanine ladder and headed for the door. There was a burst of light from the landing as he opened the door, then a voice saying, “Are they sleeping?” Emily wondered whose voice it was. She didn’t recognize it. It wasn’t her mom’s because she’d stayed in New York. But before she had a chance to mull it over any longer, she fell asleep.

Emily startled back to the present moment. The room was in darkness now, the full moon outside providing a soft light. There was a blanket on her knees. She must have fallen asleep while reading and Daniel had put it there.

In the bed before her, Chantelle was snoring softly. Emily stood, her body aching from being on the chair for so long. She really needed to fall asleep in an actual bed at some point!

As she walked to the door, she wondered about the memory, about the mysterious voice she had heard speaking to her father. Unraveling the mystery of her father’s disappearance was something Emily had been working toward since arriving at the house. But now with Chantelle here, her mind was occupied with other things. She wanted to look forward and plan for the future, not backward at a past that had already ceased to be.

As she closed Chantelle’s door behind her and wandered down the corridor, Emily wondered what her new life would bring, what it would look like now that she had a family. She’d surprised herself by how much she’d enjoyed the day, by how content it had made her feel, and how accomplished. Each of the little moments when Chantelle had sought out comfort from her felt like a victory. Her only worry was Daniel. He hadn’t taken as naturally to the whole thing. He’d need more time.

Just as she was thinking these thoughts, she reached the large window at the top of the staircase. Outside it was very dark, the moon a stark white and the stars twinkling. There was little light to see by, but there was enough for Emily to make out Daniel standing beside his motorbike. Emily watched, her joy quickly turning to anguish as he placed his helmet on, mounted the bike, and sped off along the driveway and out of sight.