Mr Landen Has No Brain

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Acknowledgements

About the Author

By Stephen Walker

About the Publisher

one (#uf5c3aa7d-a1b0-5a85-91b1-4e66d1afeee9)

‘Quiver, female, for I am Lepus, master of the night, and soon you shall be my rumpy-pumpy boing-boing toy. Carrots. Carrots. Must have carrots.’ And the ‘master of the night’ crashed out of Teena Rama’s mobile home, leaving behind a huge, rabbit-shaped hole in the wall.

From where Sally Cooper stood, just inside the front doorway, she could hear him knocking wheelie bins over in his quest for carrots.

Across the room from her, Teena gazed out through the hole and watched his rampage. Still holding the shroud she’d had him hidden under before his grand unveiling, she enthused, ‘Is he the best boyfriend you’ve ever seen or what?’

Mobile home? Sally’d been in smaller mansions. ‘Teena, he’s a rabbit. He’s a seven foot, talking rabbit.’

‘A super-evolved talking rabbit,’ Teena corrected her.

‘He referred to me as “female”, called me his rumpy-pumpy boing-boing toy–’

‘Which some would find flattering.’

‘–and is more interested in carrots than in me. And you think that’s a great boyfriend?’

Teena rolled up the shroud and cast it aside. ‘His attitude leaves a little to be desired but whose boyfriend’s doesn’t?’

‘Yours, according to you.’

Teena raised a suggestive eyebrow. ‘Sadly not every woman can have a Man Who Does.’

‘Just how desperate do you think I am that I’d go out with a giant rabbit?’