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A line-o'-verse or two

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Год написания книги
2017
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SCRIBEBAM·HELNGON
XVII·KAL·DEC

A NOTE FROM MR. FLACCUS

(Concerning the verses that follow.)

Dear B. L. T.:

You know my “pomes.” Well, old man, I was pretty young when I got them out of my system, and they seem rather raw to me now – I’m getting along, you know; so I’ve been thinking that I’d do ’em over again, file ’em down, as we used to say. Enclosed is the result of my labors.

I presume you are wondering why I have done them into United States; but you know perfectly well that a poet as much alive as I am to-day must not only keep up with the procession, but choose a thought-vehicle that has good springs to it – “beaucoup resiliency,” I s’pose you’d call it.

I hope you will like these new lines of mine better than their prototypes.

    Yours regardfully,
    Q. H. F.

Helngon, November 15.

I

TO ARISTIUS FUSCUS

“Integer vitæ scelerisque purus.”

Fuscus, old scout, if a guy’s on the level
That’s all the arsenal he’ll have to tote;
Up to St. Peter or down to the Devil,
No need to carry a gun in his coat.

Prowling around, as you know is my habit,
I met a wolf in the forest, and he
Beat it for Wolfville and ran like a rabbit.
(He was some wolf, too, receive it from me.)

Where I may happen to camp is no matter, —
Paris, Chicago, Ostend or St. Joe, —
Like the old dame in the nursery patter
I shall make music wherever I go.

Drop me in Dawson or chuck me in Cadiz,
Dump me in Kansas or plant me in Rome, —
I shall keep on making love to the ladies:
Where there’s a skirt is my notion of home.

II

DUETTO

“Donec gratus eram.”

HORACE:

What time my Lydia owned me lord
No Persian king had much on Horace;
And when you blew my bed and board
I was some sad, believe me, Mawruss.

LYDIA:

What time you loved no other She,
Before this Chloë person signed you,
I flourished like a green bay tree;
Now I’m the Girl You Left Behind You.

HORACE:

This Chloë dame that takes my eye
Has so peculiar an allurance
I would not hesitate to die
If she could cop my life insurance.

LYDIA:

Well, as for that, I know a gent
With whom it’s some delight to dally.
With me he makes an awful dent;
I’d perish once or twice for Cally.

HORACE:

Suppose our former love should go
Into a new de luxe edition?
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