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A line-o'-verse or two

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Год написания книги
2017
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Were I turning Odes to-day,
You would draw a gem from me,
Little maid of mystery!

In an Ode I’d love to spout you;
I am simply bug about you.
That’s the way! – the fairest peach
Is the one that’s out of reach.

I have toasted in my time
Many a peach (and many a lime),
All of them, I must confess,
Lacking your elusiveness.

Lalage, my well known flame,
Was considerable dame;
Likewise Lydia and Phyllis,
Chloë, Pyrrha, Amaryllis.

Syl, if you had lived when they did
You’d have had those damsels faded.
(That will give you, girl, some notion
Of your Flaccus’s devotion.)

Yep. If I were doing Odes
In my quondam favorite modes,
With your image to qui-vive me
I’d tear off some Ode, believe me!

A BALLAD OF MISFITS

“Chacun son métier:
Les vaches seront bien gardées.”

    – La Fontaine.

With skill for doing this or that
The Lord each man endows.
Some men are best for pushing pens,
And some for pushing plows;
And oh, the many many more
That should be tending cows!
Chacun son métier:
Les vaches bien gardées.

The ivory-headed serving maid
Who poses as a “cook,”
She hath a very bovine brain,
She hath a bovine look.
Oh, prithee, lead her to the kine,
Oh, prithee get the hook!
Chacun son métier:
Les vaches bien gardées.

The papering-and-painting gents
Whose work is never done,
Who mess around your house until
You pine to pull a gun,
Who take three mortal days to do
What should be done in one; —
Chacun son métier:
Les vaches bien gardées.

The pestilential “pianiste,”
The screechy singer too,
The writer of the stupid book
And of the dull review,
The actor who is greatest when
He takes his exit cue; —
Chacun son métier:
Les vaches bien gardées.

If every one were set to do
The task for which he’s fit,
The writer of these trifling lines
Might also have to quit.
At tending cows the undersigned
Might make an awful hit.
Chacun son métier:
Les vaches bien gardées.

AN ORIENTAL APOLOGY

When the hour was come Prince Chun arose,
And balanced a shoestring on his nose.
“From this some notion you will get,”
Said he, “of China’s deep regret.”

Now balancing upon his ear
A stein of foaming lager beer,
“This attitude,” said he, “reveals
How very sorry China feels.”

Then spinning top-like on his cue,
“I can’t begin to tell to you
The deep remorse we suffer for
The death of your Ambassador.”

Next, placing on his cue a plate,
He said, as it ’gan to gyrate:
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