Time's Laughingstocks, and Other Verses

My husband – he is here!
Heaven – has he overheard?” —

“Yes; I have heard, sweet Nan;
I have known it all the time.
I am not a particular man;
Misfortunes are no crime:

“And what with our serious need
Of sons for soldiering,
That accident, indeed,
To maids, is a useful thing!”

ROSE-ANN

Why didn’t you say you was promised, Rose-Ann?
Why didn’t you name it to me,
Ere ever you tempted me hither, Rose-Ann,
So often, so wearifully?

O why did you let me be near ’ee, Rose-Ann,
Talking things about wedlock so free,
And never by nod or by whisper, Rose-Ann,
Give a hint that it wasn’t to be?

Down home I was raising a flock of stock ewes,
Cocks and hens, and wee chickens by scores,
And lavendered linen all ready to use,
A-dreaming that they would be yours.

Mother said: “She’s a sport-making maiden, my son”;
And a pretty sharp quarrel had we;
O why do you prove by this wrong you have done
That I saw not what mother could see?

Never once did you say you was promised, Rose-Ann,
Never once did I dream it to be;
And it cuts to the heart to be treated, Rose-Ann,
As you in your scorning treat me!

THE HOMECOMING

Grufflygrowled the wind on Toller downland broad and bare,
And lonesome was the house, and dark; and few came there.

“Now don’t ye rub your eyes so red; we’re home and have no cares;
Here’s a skimmer-cake for supper, peckled onions, and some pears;
I’ve got a little keg o’ summat strong, too, under stairs:
– What, slight your husband’s victuals?  Other brides can tackle theirs!”

The wind of winter mooed and mouthed their chimney like a horn,
And round the house and past the house ’twas leafless and lorn.

“But my dear and tender poppet, then, how came ye to agree
In Ivel church this morning?  Sure, there-right you married me!”
– “Hoo-hoo! – I don’t know – I forgot how strange and far ’twould be,
An’ I wish I was at home again with dear daddee!”

Gruffly growled the wind on Toller downland broad and bare,
And lonesome was the house and dark; and few came there.

“I didn’t think such furniture as this was all you’d own,
And great black beams for ceiling, and a floor o’ wretched stone,
And nasty pewter platters, horrid forks of steel and bone,
And a monstrous crock in chimney.  ’Twas to me quite unbeknown!”

Rattle rattle went the door; down flapped a cloud of smoke,
As shifting north the wicked wind assayed a smarter stroke.

“Now sit ye by the fire, poppet; put yourself at ease:
And keep your little thumb out of your mouth, dear, please!
And I’ll sing to ’ee a pretty song of lovely flowers and bees,
And happy lovers taking walks within a grove o’ trees.”

Gruffly growled the wind on Toller Down, so bleak and bare,
And lonesome was the house, and dark; and few came there.

“Now, don’t ye gnaw your handkercher; ’twill hurt your little tongue,
And if you do feel spitish, ’tis because ye are over young;
But you’ll be getting older, like us all, ere very long,
And you’ll see me as I am – a man who never did ’ee wrong.”

Straight from Whit’sheet Hill to Benvill Lane the blusters pass,
Hitting hedges, milestones, handposts, trees, and tufts of grass.

“Well, had I only known, my dear, that this was how you’d be,
I’d have married her of riper years that was so fond of me.
But since I can’t, I’ve half a mind to run away to sea,
And leave ’ee to go barefoot to your d – d daddee!”

Up one wall and down the other – past each window-pane —
Prance the gusts, and then away down Crimmercrock’s long lane.

“I – I – don’t know what to say to’t, since your wife I’ve vowed to be;
And as ’tis done, I s’pose here I must bide – poor me!
Aye – as you are ki-ki-kind, I’ll try to live along with ’ee,
Although I’d fain have stayed at home with dear daddee!”

Gruffly growled the wind on Toller Down, so bleak and bare,
And lonesome was the house and dark; and few came there.