His Girl Next Door: The Army Ranger's Return / New York's Finest Rebel / The Girl from Honeysuckle Farm

“I thought you wanted to start over?”

Jessica turned away from him.

“Look, I took you by surprise, that’s all. Now let’s have some food, okay? I’m starving. Unless you want to meet all over again, again?” he teased.

Jessica sighed and walked back into the kitchen. Her face still felt flushed, but she was starting to relax. Lucky this was a friendship where they already kind of knew one another. If it had been a first date she’d have been toast.

“Can I do anything?” he offered.

She shook her head.

“I’ll make some sandwiches and meet you outside.”

When he didn’t move she made herself look up at him.

“Hercules would love to play ball if you’re up for a game in the yard,” she suggested.

He winked at her and sauntered out the door.

Jessica had to force her mouth to stay shut. It was in grave risk of dropping down and hitting her on the chest.

Something about that man had her all twisted in knots, and that wink hadn’t helped. She was all hot, like she needed a fan, but she gulped down a glass of water instead.

And it didn’t help her any.

Ten minutes later, and still hot under the collar, Jessica found Ryan sitting back on one of her chairs, eyes closed, basking in the sun. A very put-out-looking Hercules lay nearby, ball neglected between his front paws.

She leant over to put the tray of food and drinks on the table when Ryan’s eyes popped open. He looked lazy, comfortable.

Gorgeous.

She pushed the thought away as he ran a hand through his hair and then down his face, as if to wake himself up.

“You’ve got no idea how good this is, just sitting here.”

“Sandwich?”

He took it happily and started eating. Jessica made herself do the same, even though swallowing was like forcing large chunks through a sieve.

They sat in silence for a bit. Eating. Watching the dog chase his tail then start stalking a bird.

“Don’t get me wrong, Jess, but I could have sworn you had something other than my going back to war on your mind before.”

This time she actually choked. Had to reach for her coffee and take a big gulp. What had happened to the stereotype of brooding soldier who hardly said a word and wasn’t up with the whole feelings thing? She had expected him to be quiet and reserved, but the reality of him was anything but. He’d either come out of his shell big-time, or he was making a huge effort here.

And hadn’t they put this behind them and started over?

“Sorry, went down the wrong way,” she stuttered.

Ryan didn’t look convinced, just reached for another sandwich.

“Whatever you say.”

She sighed.

“It’s true I’ve had a lot going on this past year, but I just wasn’t expecting to have to worry about you going back on top of it all. That’s all.”

It wasn’t technically a lie. She would worry about him when he was gone. But when he’d told her, her mind had wandered. To a place she didn’t want to go and shouldn’t have let herself be drawn back to.

“Jessica?”

She put on the brave face she had perfected over the months of treatment she’d received and turned back to him.

“I’m fine, honestly. Tell me about you. What do you want to do while you’re home? Do you need somewhere to stay?”

She held her breath, hoping he’d say no. There was no way she could deal with him staying here. Not now. It was messing her head up just trying to be normal around him for an afternoon.

“Tempting offer, but no, thanks.”

She tucked her feet up beneath her on the seat and turned to face him. It was comforting in a way to watch his face, but off-putting at the same time. Hard to fathom this man sitting here was the author of all those letters, the ones that had kept her going, even through the hard times. Given her something to look forward to and something to focus on.

His eyes softened as he smiled, laughter lines etched ever so slightly into his tanned skin.

“I’ve been hoping you might have some good advice to throw my way.” He paused, taking a sip of his coffee. “On how to deal with a twelve-year-old boy who can’t seem to bear the sight of me.”

Her heart throbbed for a moment, feeling his pain. But she recovered without him noticing.

“When you say he can’t bear the sight of you …”

Ryan grimaced. “I mean that he gets up and leaves the room the moment he sees me, or suffers my presence at mealtime by sitting silently and not raising his eyes.”

Oh. “And your parents?”

That brought the smile back to his face. “Thrilled to have their only son home and desperate for me to reconnect with my own boy.”

She thought about it for a moment. The nice thing about already having a relationship with someone, even if it was on paper, was that silent stretches weren’t uncomfortable. Or at least they weren’t with Ryan.

She unfolded her legs and leaned toward him.

“I know it’s going to sound like a cliché, saying that you just need to give him time, especially after all the time you’ve been away, but I think he’ll come around. He’s probably angry at you for leaving and staying away so long, and he wants answers. You need to let him know that when he does want to ask you questions you can be there for him, straight up, honest.”

Ryan closed his eyes and sat back. She could see this was painful for him, but he was better to get it all off his chest with her.

Besides, talking about him was taking her mind off the fact that she was attracted to him. That his being there, beside her, was making her have feelings she’d long ago abandoned when it came to men. And it also made her push her memories back where they belonged. Locked in a box, out of mind’s reach.

He smiled sadly. “You’re right, but sometimes I wonder if he’d have been better off if I’d just stayed away.”

Jessica shook her head. It wasn’t true and he knew it.