The Tempest

STEPHANO. Tell not me-when the butt is out we will drink
water, not a drop before; therefore bear up, and board
'em. Servant-monster, drink to me.
TRINCULO. Servant-monster! The folly of this island! They
say there's but five upon this isle: we are three of
them; if th' other two be brain'd like us, the state
totters.
STEPHANO. Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee; thy
eyes are almost set in thy head.
TRINCULO. Where should they be set else? He were a brave
monster indeed, if they were set in his tail.
STEPHANO. My man-monster hath drown'd his tongue in
sack. For my part, the sea cannot drown me; I swam, ere
I could recover the shore, five and thirty leagues, off
and on. By this light, thou shalt be my lieutenant,
monster, or my standard.
TRINCULO. Your lieutenant, if you list; he's no standard.
STEPHANO. We'll not run, Monsieur Monster.
TRINCULO. Nor go neither; but you'll lie like dogs, and
yet say nothing neither.
STEPHANO. Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest
a good moon-calf.
CALIBAN. How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe.
I'll not serve him; he is not valiant.
TRINCULO. Thou liest, most ignorant monster: I am in case
to justle a constable. Why, thou debosh'd fish, thou,
was there ever man a coward that hath drunk so much sack
as I to-day? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie, being but
half fish and half a monster?
CALIBAN. Lo, how he mocks me! Wilt thou let him, my
lord?
TRINCULO. 'Lord' quoth he! That a monster should be such
a natural!
CALIBAN. Lo, lo again! Bite him to death, I prithee.
STEPHANO. Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head; if
you prove a mutineer-the next tree! The poor monster's
my subject, and he shall not suffer indignity.
CALIBAN. I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleas'd to
hearken once again to the suit I made to thee?
STEPHANO. Marry will I; kneel and repeat it; I will stand,
and so shall Trinculo.

Enter ARIEL, invisible

CALIBAN. As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant,
sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the
island.
ARIEL. Thou liest.
CALIBAN. Thou liest, thou jesting monkey, thou;
I would my valiant master would destroy thee.
I do not lie.
STEPHANO. Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in's tale,
by this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.
TRINCULO. Why, I said nothing.
STEPHANO. Mum, then, and no more. Proceed.
CALIBAN. I say, by sorcery he got this isle;
From me he got it. If thy greatness will
Revenge it on him-for I know thou dar'st,
But this thing dare not-
STEPHANO. That's most certain.
CALIBAN. Thou shalt be lord of it, and I'll serve thee.
STEPHANO. How now shall this be compass'd? Canst thou
bring me to the party?
CALIBAN. Yea, yea, my lord; I'll yield him thee asleep,
Where thou mayst knock a nail into his head.
ARIEL. Thou liest; thou canst not.
CALIBAN. What a pied ninny's this! Thou scurvy patch!
I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows,
And take his bottle from him. When that's gone
He shall drink nought but brine; for I'll not show him
Where the quick freshes are.
STEPHANO. Trinculo, run into no further danger; interrupt
the monster one word further and, by this hand, I'll turn
my mercy out o' doors, and make a stock-fish of thee.
TRINCULO. Why, what did I? I did nothing. I'll go farther
off.
STEPHANO. Didst thou not say he lied?
ARIEL. Thou liest.
STEPHANO. Do I so? Take thou that. [Beats him] As you like
this, give me the lie another time.
TRINCULO. I did not give the lie. Out o' your wits and
hearing too? A pox o' your bottle! This can sack and
drinking do. A murrain on your monster, and the devil
take your fingers!
CALIBAN. Ha, ha, ha!
STEPHANO. Now, forward with your tale. – Prithee stand
further off.
CALIBAN. Beat him enough; after a little time, I'll beat
him too.
STEPHANO. Stand farther. Come, proceed.
CALIBAN. Why, as I told thee, 'tis a custom with him
I' th' afternoon to sleep; there thou mayst brain him,
Having first seiz'd his books; or with a log
Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,
Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember
First to possess his books; for without them
He's but a sot, as I am, nor hath not
One spirit to command; they all do hate him
As rootedly as I. Burn but his books.