Twelfth Night; Or, What You Will

SIR TOBY. Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.

AGUECHEEK. And I do not- Exit

FABIAN. Come, let's see the event.

SIR TOBY. I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet.

    Exeunt

ACT IV

SCENE I. Before OLIVIA'S house

Enter SEBASTIAN and CLOWN

CLOWN. Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?

SEBASTIAN. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; let me be clear of thee.

CLOWN. Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not
sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your
name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.
Nothing that is so is so.

SEBASTIAN. I prithee vent thy folly somewhere else.
Thou know'st not me.

CLOWN. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man,
and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this
great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now,
ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady.
Shall I vent to her that thou art coming?

SEBASTIAN. I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me;
There's money for thee; if you tarry longer
I shall give worse payment.

CLOWN. By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that
give fools money get themselves a good report after fourteen
years' purchase.

Enter SIR ANDREW, SIR TOBY, and FABIAN

AGUECHEEK. Now, sir, have I met you again?
[Striking SEBASTIAN] There's for you.

SEBASTIAN. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there.
Are all the people mad?

SIR TOBY. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house.

    [Holding SEBASTIAN]
CLOWN. This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence. Exit

SIR TOBY. Come on, sir; hold.

AGUECHEEK. Nay, let him alone. I'll go another way to work with
him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any
law in Illyria; though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that.

SEBASTIAN. Let go thy hand.

SIR TOBY. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier,
put up your iron; you are well flesh'd. Come on.

SEBASTIAN. I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now?
If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword. [Draws]

SIR TOBY. What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. [Draws]

Enter OLIVIA

OLIVIA. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee hold.

SIR TOBY. Madam!

OLIVIA. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,
Where manners ne'er were preach'd! Out of my sight!
Be not offended, dear Cesario-
Rudesby, be gone!

    Exeunt SIR TOBY, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN
I prithee, gentle friend,
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
In this uncivil and unjust extent
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby
Mayst smile at this. Thou shalt not choose but go;
Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me!
He started one poor heart of mine in thee.

SEBASTIAN. What relish is in this? How runs the stream?
Or I am mad, or else this is a dream.
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!

OLIVIA. Nay, come, I prithee. Would thou'dst be rul'd by me!