The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

Ham. I will receive it, sir, with all diligence of spirit. Put
your
bonnet to his right use. 'Tis for the head.
Osr. I thank your lordship, it is very hot.
Ham. No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.
Osr. It is indifferent cold, my lord, indeed.
Ham. But yet methinks it is very sultry and hot for my
complexion.
Osr. Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry, as 'twere- I
cannot
tell how. But, my lord, his Majesty bade me signify to you
that
he has laid a great wager on your head. Sir, this is the
matter-
Ham. I beseech you remember.
[Hamlet moves him to put on his hat.]
Osr. Nay, good my lord; for mine ease, in good faith. Sir, here
is
newly come to court Laertes; believe me, an absolute
gentleman,
full of most excellent differences, of very soft society and
great showing. Indeed, to speak feelingly of him, he is the
card
or calendar of gentry; for you shall find in him the
continent of
what part a gentleman would see.
Ham. Sir, his definement suffers no perdition in you; though, I
know, to divide him inventorially would dozy th' arithmetic
of
memory, and yet but yaw neither in respect of his quick sail.
But, in the verity of extolment, I take him to be a soul of
great
article, and his infusion of such dearth and rareness as, to
make
true diction of him, his semblable is his mirror, and who
else
would trace him, his umbrage, nothing more.
Osr. Your lordship speaks most infallibly of him.
Ham. The concernancy, sir? Why do we wrap the gentleman in our
more
rawer breath
Osr. Sir?
Hor [aside to Hamlet] Is't not possible to understand in
another
tongue? You will do't, sir, really.
Ham. What imports the nomination of this gentleman
Osr. Of Laertes?
Hor. [aside] His purse is empty already. All's golden words are
spent.
Ham. Of him, sir.
Osr. I know you are not ignorant-
Ham. I would you did, sir; yet, in faith, if you did, it would
not
much approve me. Well, sir?
Osr. You are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is-
Ham. I dare not confess that, lest I should compare with him in
excellence; but to know a man well were to know himself.
Osr. I mean, sir, for his weapon; but in the imputation laid on
him
by them, in his meed he's unfellowed.
Ham. What's his weapon?
Osr. Rapier and dagger.
Ham. That's two of his weapons- but well.
Osr. The King, sir, hath wager'd with him six Barbary horses;
against the which he has impon'd, as I take it, six French
rapiers and poniards, with their assigns, as girdle, hangers,
and
so. Three of the carriages, in faith, are very dear to fancy,
very responsive to the hilts, most delicate carriages, and of
very liberal conceit.
Ham. What call you the carriages?
Hor. [aside to Hamlet] I knew you must be edified by the
margent
ere you had done.
Osr. The carriages, sir, are the hangers.
Ham. The phrase would be more germane to the matter if we could
carry cannon by our sides. I would it might be hangers till
then.
But on! Six Barbary horses against six French swords, their
assigns, and three liberal-conceited carriages: that's the
French
bet against the Danish. Why is this all impon'd, as you call
it?
Osr. The King, sir, hath laid that, in a dozen passes between
yourself and him, he shall not exceed you three hits; he hath
laid on twelve for nine, and it would come to immediate trial
if your lordship would vouchsafe the answer.
Ham. How if I answer no?
Osr. I mean, my lord, the opposition of your person in trial.
Ham. Sir, I will walk here in the hall. If it please his
Majesty,
it is the breathing time of day with me. Let the foils be
brought, the gentleman willing, and the King hold his
purpose,
I will win for him if I can; if not, I will gain nothing but
my
shame and the odd hits.
Osr. Shall I redeliver you e'en so?
Ham. To this effect, sir, after what flourish your nature will.
Osr. I commend my duty to your lordship.