The Taming of the Shrew

Well, you are come to me in a happy time,

The rather for I have some sport in hand

There is a lord will hear you play to-night;

But I am doubtful of your modesties,

Lest, over-eying of his odd behaviour,

For yet his honour never heard a play,

And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs,

If you should smile, he grows impatient.

Player

Fear not, my lord; we can contain ourselves,

Were he the veriest antic in the world.

Lord

And give them friendly welcome every one;

Let them want nothing that my house affords.

[Exit one with the Players.]

Sirrah, go you to Barthol’mew my page,

And see him dress’d in all suits like a lady;

And call him ‘madam’, do him obeisance.

Tell him from me – as he will win my love –

He bear himself with honourable action,

Such as he hath observ’d in noble ladies

Such duty to the drunkard let him do,

With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy,

And say ‘What is’t your honour will command,

Wherein your lady and your humble wife

And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses,

And with declining head into his bosom,

Bid him shed tears, as being overjoyed

To see her noble lord restor’d to health,

No better than a poor and loathsome beggar.

And if the boy have not a woman’s gift

To rain a shower of commanded tears,

An onion will do well for such a shift,

Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.

See this dispatch’d with all the haste thou canst;

Anon I’ll give thee more instructions.

[Exit a Servant.]

I know the boy will well usurp the grace,

I long to hear him call the drunkard ‘husband’;

And how my men will stay themselves from laughter

When they do homage to this simple peasant.

I’ll in to counsel them; haply my presence

Which otherwise would grow into extremes.

[Exeunt.]

Scene II

A bedchamber in the Lord’s house.

[Enter aloft SLY, with Attendants; some with apparel, basin and ewer, and other appurtenances; and Lord.]

Sly

For God’s sake, a pot of small ale.

1 Servant