King Henry IV, Part 2

Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly rogue! Murder, murder!
Ah,
thou honeysuckle villain! wilt thou kill God's officers and
the
King's? Ah, thou honey-seed rogue! thou art a honey-seed; a
man-queller and a woman-queller.
FALSTAFF. Keep them off, Bardolph.
FANG. A rescue! a rescue!
HOSTESS. Good people, bring a rescue or two. Thou wot, wot
thou!
thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou rogue! do, thou hemp-seed!
PAGE. Away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian!
I'll tickle your catastrophe.

Enter the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE and his men

CHIEF JUSTICE. What is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho!
HOSTESS. Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you, stand to
me.
CHIEF JUSTICE. How now, Sir John! what, are you brawling here?

Doth this become your place, your time, and business?
You should have been well on your way to York.
Stand from him, fellow; wherefore hang'st thou upon him?
HOSTESS. O My most worshipful lord, an't please your Grace, I
am a
poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my suit.
CHIEF JUSTICE. For what sum?
HOSTESS. It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all – all
I
have. He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all
my
substance into that fat belly of his. But I will have some of
it
out again, or I will ride thee a nights like a mare.
FALSTAFF. I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have any
vantage of ground to get up.
CHIEF JUSTICE. How comes this, Sir John? Fie! What man of good
temper would endure this tempest of exclamation? Are you not
ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come
by
her own?
FALSTAFF. What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
HOSTESS. Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the
money
too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet,
sitting in
my Dolphin chamber, at the round table, by a sea-coal fire,
upon
Wednesday in Wheeson week, when the Prince broke thy head for
liking his father to singing-man of Windsor – thou didst swear
to
me then, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me and make me
my
lady thy wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech,
the
butcher's wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly?
Coming
in to borrow a mess of vinegar, telling us she had a good
dish of
prawns, whereby thou didst desire to eat some, whereby I told
thee they were ill for green wound? And didst thou not, when
she
was gone down stairs, desire me to be no more so familiarity
with
such poor people, saying that ere long they should call me
madam?
And didst thou not kiss me, and bid me fetch the thirty
shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath. Deny it, if thou
canst.
FALSTAFF. My lord, this is a poor mad soul, and she says up and
down the town that her eldest son is like you. She hath been
in
good case, and, the truth is, poverty hath distracted her.
But
for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may have redress
against them.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with
your
manner of wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a
confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such
more
than impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level
consideration. You have, as it appears to me, practis'd upon
the
easy yielding spirit of this woman, and made her serve your
uses
both in purse and in person.
HOSTESS. Yea, in truth, my lord.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Pray thee, peace. Pay her the debt you owe her,
and
unpay the villainy you have done with her; the one you may do
with sterling money, and the other with current repentance.
FALSTAFF. My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply.
You
call honourable boldness impudent sauciness; if a man will
make
curtsy and say nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my
humble
duty rememb'red, I will not be your suitor. I say to you I do