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The Life of Timon of Athens
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APEMANTUS. He wrought better that made the painter; and yet he's but a filthy piece of work.
PAINTER
You're a dog.
APEMANTUS
Thy mother's of my generation: what's she, if I be a dog?
TIMON
Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
No; I eat not lords.
TIMON
An thou shouldst, thou'dst anger ladies.
APEMANTUS
O! they eat lords; so they come by great bellies.
TIMON
That's a lascivious apprehension.
APEMANTUS
So thou apprehendest it, take it for thy labour.
TIMON
How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. Not so well as plain dealing, which will not cost a man a doit.
TIMON
What dost thou think 'tis worth?
APEMANTUS
Not worth my thinking. How now, poet!
POET
How now, philosopher!
APEMANTUS
Thou liest.
POET
Art not one?
APEMANTUS
Yes.
POET
Then I lie not.
APEMANTUS
Art not a poet?
POET
Yes.
APEMANTUS. Then thou liest: look in thy last work, where thou hast feigned him a worthy fellow.
POET
That's not feigned; he is so.
APEMANTUS
Yes, he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy
labour: he that loves to be flattered is worthy o' the flatterer.
Heavens, that I were a lord!
TIMON
What wouldst do then, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
Even as Apemantus does now; hate a lord with my heart.
TIMON
What, thyself?
PAINTER
You're a dog.
APEMANTUS
Thy mother's of my generation: what's she, if I be a dog?
TIMON
Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
No; I eat not lords.
TIMON
An thou shouldst, thou'dst anger ladies.
APEMANTUS
O! they eat lords; so they come by great bellies.
TIMON
That's a lascivious apprehension.
APEMANTUS
So thou apprehendest it, take it for thy labour.
TIMON
How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. Not so well as plain dealing, which will not cost a man a doit.
TIMON
What dost thou think 'tis worth?
APEMANTUS
Not worth my thinking. How now, poet!
POET
How now, philosopher!
APEMANTUS
Thou liest.
POET
Art not one?
APEMANTUS
Yes.
POET
Then I lie not.
APEMANTUS
Art not a poet?
POET
Yes.
APEMANTUS. Then thou liest: look in thy last work, where thou hast feigned him a worthy fellow.
POET
That's not feigned; he is so.
APEMANTUS
Yes, he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy
labour: he that loves to be flattered is worthy o' the flatterer.
Heavens, that I were a lord!
TIMON
What wouldst do then, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
Even as Apemantus does now; hate a lord with my heart.
TIMON
What, thyself?
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