It’s Me or the Dog: How to have the Perfect Pet

Whether with misfits or aristocrats, I would walk for hours on Wimbledon Common surrounded by these glorious creatures. The dogs never ran away, even though they were off the leash, nor did they fight. I never questioned why they didn’t. It wasn’t until I became a trainer that I understood why those dogs wanted to be with me. To the dogs, I was their leader and they listened to everything I said. They knew that they had a good thing going, and that when I showed up to walk them, pleasant and exciting things were about to happen. They respected me because I treated them with the utmost care and respect. They trusted me and knew that I was their protector. Those dogs with their quirks and diverse personalities were my introduction into the fascinating world of canine behavior.

One day on the Common I met a behaviorist and we got talking. By then, I was becoming more curious about why dogs acted the way that they did, and from that point onward I began to back up my observations with study, reading books, going to seminars, and taking courses. At the same time, I volunteered as a walker for the famous Battersea Dogs’ Home – my first experience of handling rescue dogs. I also worked with Greyhound rescue agencies and other dog shelters.

When I moved across the Atlantic to New York City in 1999, my work stepped up a notch. I set up a training school to instruct families with children on safe and effective dog training. I worked with the ASPCA and with rescue shelters in Manhattan in addition to training dogs in New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. After spending two years filming It’s Me or the Dog in Britain, I relocated down south to Georgia, where I now run a training organization as well as serve as a behavior advisor to a number of rescue shelters in the north Georgia area.

My husband and I fostered many dogs while we were in New York – dogs that we pulled from the municipal shelters before they were put to sleep. We looked after the elderly, and nurtured the young ones, many who were sick or had mental scars from abuse. In many cases, we were able to rehabilitate these dogs and find them new homes. We were careful not to form too close a bond with our foster dogs so they would find it easier to bond with their new owners, but it still wasn’t easy to say good-bye. We missed having our own dog, but work commitments kept us traveling and we were unable to offer a dog a stable lifestyle. Now, after many years, we are the proud owners of a rescued chocolate Labrador called Sadie.

The two sides of my work, dog rescue and dog training, are deeply linked. Do you know that 96% of dogs that end up abandoned in shelters have never had any training? The year before I arrived in New York, 67,000 dogs and cats found themselves in shelters, and 47,000 of them were put down. That’s a tragic waste of life. The situation has now improved somewhat, with owners becoming more aware of the need to neuter their pets, but more dogs are still being bred than there are people who are willing to look after them properly.

I have a profound respect for the domestic dog. For thousands of years, the dog has cohabited with humans, and put up with all the idiosyncrasies of our world. This unique and unbreakable partnership between dog and human has made the dog one of the most successful species on the planet. Your dog’s predecessors ensured the survival of the species by aligning themselves with the one other species that has the utmost power to protect them from threat: man. From fighting a constant battle for survival in the wild to sleeping on a comfy couch with an endless supply of food and affection – now that’s a clever animal!

When I ask a new client what they want to achieve by training their dog, the standard response is that they want to train their dog to be obedient. They want their dog to respond to commands, such as “sit,” “get down,” and “stay,” to be house-trained, and to get along with other people and other dogs.

Then I ask them: What do they think their dog needs? The reply is always very similar. Clients usually say that their dog needs to learn to “sit,” “stay,” and “get down,” to be house-trained, and to behave. And that is the popular view of what dog training is all about.

What I hardly ever hear is that a client wants to learn how their dog learns, how their dog communicates, and what their dog needs in order to be successful. But that’s just it – training is about understanding how your dog perceives the world around him. Using this knowledge, you can then become a better communicator and create an environment where your dog is happy and has the confidence to cope with domestic life. Understanding and communication: It’s as simple as that. We’re so focused on getting our dogs to sit, stay, and come when called that we lose the very reason why we are doing this.

This book is all about giving you a solid foundation of knowledge on which to build your training. Think of it as your support system. Of course, you can teach your dog to “sit” and to “come” without understanding much about his innate behavior. But sooner or later you will run into a problem or an area of difficulty that demands a more subtle approach. If you don’t understand what makes a dog tick, or how to communicate with him in a language that he can understand, you won’t be able to solve the problem.

And at this point, many owners respond in one of two ways: Either they give up and ignore the situation, or they resort to harsh punishment that inevitably makes things worse. Some people carry on living their lives with an unruly pet, accepting all the restrictions that this state of affairs imposes upon them. Others find themselves at the end of their wits and decide to give up their dog. It doesn’t have to be that way.

As a trainer, I’ve seen it all, from the dog who tried to eat through a wall every time his owner left the house, to more common problems, such as chewing shoes, barking in the garden, and chasing cats. As a dog fosterer, I know only too well what price pets pay when their owners can’t or won’t train them properly. That’s why I was delighted to be asked to take part in the television series It’s Me or the Dog, and show how fundamentally simple techniques can really turn around what seem like hopeless situations.

Throughout the book, you will find advice on every aspect of caring for dogs, from what to feed them to how to walk them. At the same time, you’ll also find tried and tested solutions to the type of common problems most dog-owners encounter from time to time. Training isn’t about imposing your will on your dog; it’s about giving him the tools he needs to live in your world.

Dogs are amazing animals. They never cease to fascinate and inspire me. Take the time to train your pet and you will be rewarded many times over by the love, affection, and sheer good company that dogs bring into our lives.

My top ten rules for raising and training a dog

1 Think dog

Understand how dogs learn and what makes them tick as a species. Dogs are not humans, but many people treat them like they are.

2 Talk dog

Learn how to communicate effectively in dog language. Dogs can’t speak English, or any other human language. You, however, can learn to talk dog.

3 Top dog

Who’s in charge? You are. You have to be a confident leader. Your dog will be much happier if he has an effective leader to follow.

4 Accentuate the positive

Reward good behavior. Good things happen when your dog does well! Ignore or correct behavior you don’t want to encourage. Sounds simple, but many people do exactly the opposite without meaning to. Never, ever use harsh punishment.

5 Perfect timing

Get the timing right when rewarding or correcting. Dogs won’t associate a reward or correction with an action if you leave it too long to respond. You need to give feedback within one second of the behavior.

6 He says, she says

Be consistent at all times – and that goes for everyone in the family. Use the same commands and agree on your house rules. Can the dog sit on the sofa or not? Mixed messages confuse dogs and make them anxious because they can’t work out what they’re supposed to do.

7 Know your dog

Your dog is an individual with his own strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Whether he’s purebred or a mixed breed, there are breed characteristics to take into account, too. Go with the flow.

8 Vary the picture

Offer a variety of different experiences to stimulate your dog’s brain and senses. Dogs like to play and they get bored, just like we do. Don’t just train in the same place or using the same posture. Teach your dog to respond to you in every situation.

9 Lifelong learning

Start training early and keep reinforcing the learning all through the dog’s life. You can, and should, teach an old dog new tricks.

10 Easy does it

Make it easy for your dog to do well and succeed. Manage his environment. Put the shoes away so he can’t chew them. When you’re training your dog, accept failure as part of the learning process. Successful training requires patience.

Think Dog understanding your dog (#ulink_7ef44f81-437d-570e-b8d6-0a8d7dd86546)

In order to train your dog, you first have to see the world from his point of view. Dogs aren’t human beings, but many people treat them as if they were – and the problems start right there. Your dog may be living with humans in a human world, but his instincts remain pure dog.

Let’s take one example. You take your dog to the park, he runs around for a while, sniffing the ground, and then he stops and rolls in the grass. If you see the scene through human eyes, you assume the dog is rolling in the grass for the sheer pleasure of it. Maybe you think he’s found a new way to scratch his back. Both interpretations may be partially correct, but it’s also likely that he is rolling in the grass to cover himself in a particular, appealing scent (and one that you probably can’t even smell). Experts aren’t entirely sure, but it is thought that wolves cover themselves in scent to reinforce their status within the pack, or to disguise their own scent when hunting prey.

That’s a simple example of misunderstanding dog behavior, and one that has no particular impact on your relationship with your dog. In many other circumstances, however, getting the signals wrong can give rise to more serious problems. Understanding how a dog learns and how he perceives the world will provide you with a solid foundation upon which to base your training, and a means of communicating effectively with your pet.

Your dog may be living with humans in a human world, but his instincts remain pure dog.

The pack

Dogs and people are able to live together so successfully because in some ways the two species are very similar. Like us, dogs are social creatures. In the wild, the wolf, the domestic dog’s ancestor, lives in packs composed of extended family groups. It nurtures its young for a relatively long period, and it communicates with its pack members using a wide range of signals – both gestures and sounds. The pack is structured in a clear order or hierarchy, with a dominant male and female pair at the top of the group and other members ranked lower down, depending on age, sex, and abilities.

Communication is vital for the survival of the pack. It allows members to coordinate attacks on prey, and it plays a key role in establishing bonds within the group. Just as important, it reinforces the pecking order so that each pack member knows its place in the scheme of things. Many people wrongly assume that if left to their own devices, dogs would constantly fight for control and dominance. The reverse is actually true. Violence is an exception in wild dog or wolf behavior; deference is the norm. In fact, the hierarchy in packs is expressly designed to prevent the disruption of fighting, as well as to ensure that in times of crisis, the strongest survives to the benefit of the species as a whole.

Why you have to be top dog

When you bring a puppy or dog into your home, he becomes an important part of the family unit. In order for your dog to thrive, he needs a leader – and that leader has to be you.

You are your dog’s guide to the weird and wonderful domestic environment in which he finds himself. Dogs may have been human companions for thousands of years, but that does not make it any easier for them to live by your rules without clear direction. When you are the leader, the dog will take his cues from you and settle much more confidently into your home.

Some breeds are naturally more dominant than others, as are some individual dogs. But all dogs are happier and better behaved when they have constructive direction and clear boundaries to follow. If they know all good things in life come through you – including food, toys, praise, petting, and attention – they are more likely to listen to you.

Many people wrongly think that punishment is the best way to show their dog who’s boss. In the past, a lot of dog training was overly corrective, using painful choke chains, for example, or the occasional smack. Hurting a dog is always wrong. It is also counterproductive. When you hit a dog, you teach him to fear you, you break his trust, and you weaken his confidence. Insecure dogs are the ones who are more likely to lash out in an aggressive display. It’s understandable – you’ve given them nowhere else to go.

So how do you show the dog that you’re the leader? Well, this is where an understanding of dog behavior really comes into its own.

Calm authority