It’s Me or the Dog: How to have the Perfect Pet

Forehead

A wrinkled forehead suggests aggression. A smooth forehead, on the other hand, if it is accompanied by other relaxed body signals, indicates that the dog is relaxed. Or it may be a sign of submission if you notice other signals that indicate insecurity, such as a tail that is lowered or tucked between the dog’s legs, a crouching stance, or a curved back.

Eyebrows

Roger Moore, the actor, makes wonderful use of the eyebrow lift. So does my husband. Just a slight lift of the eyebrow communicates that he’s unhappy with something that I’ve said or done. It gets me every time. When a dog is trying to dominate a situation or assert control, the eyebrows seem almost to jump out at you as they are pushed forward, and the dog will stare at you in a challenging way. When a dog is calm, his eyebrows will not be pronounced.

Eyes

Stand in front of a friend or family member and ask that person to stare at you. Does it make you feel a little uncomfortable? At the very least, it will make you laugh. When a stranger stares at you, however, it’s usually very disconcerting. Do you stare back, or do you break the stare and look away? If both of you keep staring at each other, the chances are that some sort of challenge is going on.

The stare means the same in dog talk. Staring at another dog or human is a sign of dominance, or may indicate an aggressive challenge. The eyes are wide and unflinching. If the stare is accompanied by other aggressive signs such as raised hackles, leaning forward, and stillness of the body, then you would do well to pay attention and stay away! However, a dog that is staring at you is not necessarily exhibiting aggression. It could just be that he is confident and attentive.

When a dog is insecure, he narrows his eyes and looks away from you to show that he poses no threat. Blinking is another important eye signal. Dogs often blink to show you they are friendly. Sometimes, however, they blink when they are frightened.

Mouth

The lips are often used to demonstrate aggression. One such signal, a slight lifting of the lips on one side, is incredibly subtle and may be hard to spot. When the lips are completely drawn forward, this indicates a more assertive form of aggression. When the lips are drawn back, this often signals an aggressive response that is the result of fear. Either way the teeth are exposed. A friend of mine owned a dog that would draw back her lips and expose her teeth when greeting you affectionately. Perhaps the dog simply didn’t know what she was feeling, but I always swore she was smiling.

Lip smacking or licking with the tongue are signs of lack of confidence, stress, or fear, but are also used as pacifying gestures. Both wrinkle the muzzle, which is otherwise smooth when the dog is relaxed.

Neck

A confident dog will hold his neck straight and upright. A dog with less confidence will hold his neck lower. He may expose his throat to a dog that is more dominant. Exposing the throat says: “Hey, I’m no threat. I’m trusting you with a very delicate part of my body. And I’m turning my teeth away from you.” If this submissive gesture is successful, then the more dominant dog will expose his throat, too, in order to show that he is accepting the submission and poses no threat, either.

Back

My grandmother stood with a straight back until the day she died. She had good posture, but she was a proud, confident woman and carried herself that way. The same goes for dogs: A straight back means confidence. A back that is curled means that the dog is insecure and submissive.

Hackles

When a dog is nervous or scared, this triggers a chain reaction of physiological responses that raises the hairs on the back of the neck and down the spine. The effect is to make the dog look bigger and fiercer. He’s saying, “Don’t mess with me. I’m bigger and stronger than you!”

Tail

The tail is important for both balance and signaling, which is why it is a huge shame that the practice of tail docking still continues. How would you feel if an important part of your body that you relied upon for expressing yourself were cut off? Without its tail, a dog is unable to communicate properly, which means that other dogs may miss vital signals.

The tail is a prime indicator of a dog’s mood. A confident dog will hold his tail high in the air. It is possible that this allows scent from the anal glands to circulate more freely in the air and advertise his presence. A tail that is held low between the legs means that the dog is fearful and submissive.

Vigorous wagging usually means excitement, friendliness, and happiness. A tail that is held high but wagged more slowly means a cautious confidence. A tail that is held still and straight indicates a problem of some sort. One that is still, extended, and slightly curved says: “Get lost because I mean business!”

Paws

When my cat is feeling particularly affectionate, she will jump up and start kneading my leg with her paws. This is enjoyable for her because it’s what she used to do to her mother in order to stimulate the teats into producing milk. Puppies do a similar thing, while adult dogs will paw at a person or another dog for attention and as a pacifying gesture. One of the reasons why it’s usually easy to teach a dog to give his paw is that the gesture is already part of their vocabulary.

A paw placed over the neck of another dog, however, signals a challenge. Placing two paws around the neck tends to be a prelude either to a fight or to mating. Both genders, even when neutered, may mount other dogs, pieces of furniture, or, even more embarrassingly, your leg. Mounting or humping is not just a sexual behavior, it can also be a sign that a dog wants to control or dominate another dog or human.

In this context, it is easy to see why many dogs don’t enjoy being hugged. We humans hug to show affection. But what is a hug to a dog but two very large paws placed over his neck? You’re telling him you love him, but he might think you’re being controlling.

The stomach

Most dogs love to have their tummies stroked and will flop onto their backs happily to invite you to do so. This clear body signal is a submissive gesture that your dog learned as a puppy. While play-fighting, puppies like to pin each other down, practicing the body signals they will need as adults. Showing the opponent the stomach puts the dog in a vulnerable position. It says: “I trust you enough to show you the most delicate part of me. I am no threat to you whatsoever.”

But there is another side to this signal. After a kill, wild dogs and wolves always go for the stomach of the prey first. For good reason: Entrails contain the most nutrients. When a nervous dog lies on his back to show you his stomach, he is not inviting your touch, he is asking you to back off.

The play-bow

The play-bow is an invitation to play and a demonstration of friendliness. It’s a very distinctive posture. The dog will lower his front quarters and bow down on his front legs, placing them flat on the ground in front of his body. His body will be curved, and the tail will be curved or wagging. The play-bow is often accompanied by a couple of short barks. It’s a very engaging stance, and one a dog will sometimes adopt if he’s been scolded.

Sniffing

Dogs do a lot of sniffing: It’s their most important way of exploring the world around them. Sometimes, however, a dog will sniff the ground to calm another dog down and show him that he is not a threat. He’s saying: “I’m much more interested in this patch of grass than you.”

Yawning

This is an easy one, you might think. What else could yawning mean but tiredness? Well, that’s not always the case. Yawning can mean a dog feels stressed and nervous. It can be used as a distraction or a calming signal. We humans do it, too, in situations that make us feel uncomfortable.

Scratching

Like yawning, scratching can also be a displacement activity. Humans bite their nails when they’re anxious; dogs scratch. I often see a lot of scratching when I start to train a dog.

Sneezing

Similarly, sneezing can also be related to stress and anxiety. Insecure dogs often sneeze when meeting another dog or greeting a human.

Stretching

Dogs stretch for the same reason we do, to relieve muscle tension when moving from a sedentary pose to a more active one. But they may also stretch as a distraction or as a displacement activity in situations where they do not feel very comfortable.

Freezing

There are three principal ways in which a dog will respond to a threat: He’ll run away, which is generally the most sensible option; he’ll fight, if he feels up to it; or he’ll freeze and hope that the threat goes away. If you touch a nervous dog and he freezes or his body tenses up, take your cue from that and back off. If you keep on stroking him, the next stage will be a warning growl, then a snarl, then a nip. Some dogs don’t even bother to give a warning, but go straight to a bite.