Bones in London

Bones held out his hand.

They dined together, a jubilant Bones and a more jubilant Hamilton, ata little restaurant in Soho.

"My dear old Ham," said Bones, "it only shows you how things happen.This would have been a grand week for me if those beastly oil shares ofmine had gone up. I'm holding 'em for a rise." He opened a newspaperhe had bought in the restaurant. "I see that Jorris andWalters – they're the two oil men – deny that they've ever met or thatthey're going to amalgamate. But can you believe these people?" heasked. "My dear old thing, the mendacity of these wretchedfinanciers – "

"Have you ever seen them?" asked Hamilton, to whom the names of Jorrisand Walters were as well known as to any other man who read his dailynewspaper.

"Seen them?" said Bones. "My dear old fellow, I've met them time andtime again. Two of the jolliest old birds in the world. Well, here'sluck!"

At that particular moment Mr. Walters and Mr. Jorris were sittingtogether in the library of a house in Berkeley Square, the blinds beinglowered and the curtains being drawn, and Mr. Walters was saying:

"We'll have to make this thing public on Wednesday. My dear fellow, Inearly fainted when I heard that that impossible young person hadphotographed us together. When do you go back to Paris?"

"I think I had better stay here," said Mr. Jorris. "Did the young manbleed you?"

"Only for six thousand," said the pleasant Mr. Walters. "I hope theyoung beggar's a bear in oil," he added viciously.

But Bones, as we know, was a bull.

CHAPTER VI

A DEAL IN JUTE

It is a reasonable theory that every man of genius is two men, onevisible, one unseen and often unsuspected by his counterpart. For whohas not felt the shadow's influence in dealing with such as have theSpark? Napoleon spoke of stars, being Corsican and a mystic. Thosewho met him in his last days were uneasily conscious that the secondBonaparte had died on the eve of Waterloo, leaving derelict hisbrother, a stout and commonplace man who was in turn sycophantic, choleric, and pathetic, but never great.

Noticeable is the influence of the Shadow in the process ofmoney-making. It is humanly impossible for some men to be fortunate.They may amass wealth by sheer hard work and hard reasoning, but ifthey seek a shorter cut to opulence, be sure that short cut ends in acul-de-sac where sits a Bankruptcy Judge and a phalanx of stony-facedcreditors. "Luck" is not for them – they were born single.

For others, the whole management of life is taken from their hands bytheir busy Second, who ranges the world to discover opportunities forhis partner.

So it comes about that there are certain men, and AugustusTibbetts – or, as he was named, "Bones" – was one of these, to whom theincrements of life come miraculously. They could come in no other way,be he ever so learned and experienced.

Rather would a greater worldliness have hampered his familiar and intime destroyed its power, just as education destroys the more subtleinstincts. Whilst the learned seismographer eats his dinner, cheerfully unconscious of the coming earthquake, his dog shiversbeneath the table.

By this preamble I am not suggesting that Bones was a fool. Far fromit. Bones was wise – uncannily wise in some respects. His success wasdue, as to nine-tenths, to his native sense. His x supplied theother fraction.

No better illustration of the working of this concealed quantity can begiven than the story of the great jute sale and Miss Bertha Stegg.

The truth about the Government speculation in jute is simply told. Itis the story of an official who, in the middle of the War, was seizedwith the bright idea of procuring enormous quantities of jute for themanufacture of sand-bags. The fact that by this transaction he mighthave driven the jute lords of Dundee into frenzy did not enter into hiscalculations. Nor did it occur to him that the advantageous positionin which he hoped to place his Department depended for its attainmentupon a total lack of foresight on the part of the Dundee merchants.

As a matter of fact, Dundee had bought well and wisely. It hadsufficient stocks to meet all the demands which the Government madeupon it; and when, after the War, the Department offered its purchaseat a price which would show a handsome profit to the Government, Dundeelaughed long and loudly.

And so there was left on the official hands, at the close of the War, aquantity of jute which nobody wanted, at a price which nobody wouldpay. And then somebody asked a question in the House of Commons, andthe responsible Secretary went hot all over, and framed the reply whichan Under-secretary subsequently made in such terms as would lead thecountry to believe that the jute purchased at a figure beyond themarket value was a valuable asset, and would one day be sold at aprofit.

Mr. Augustus Tibbetts knew nothing about jute. But he did read, almostevery morning in the daily newspapers, how one person or another hadmade enormous purchases of linen, or of cloth, or of motor chassis, paying fabulous sums on the nail and walking off almost immediatelywith colossal profits; and every time Bones read such an account hewriggled in his chair and made unhappy noises.

Then one afternoon there came to his office a suave gentleman infrock-coat, carrying with him a card which was inscribed "Ministry ofSupplies." And the end of that conversation was that Bones, all atwitter of excitement, drove to a gloomy office in Whitehall, where heinterviewed a most sacred public official, to whom members of thepublic were not admitted, perhaps, more than four times a year.

Hamilton had watched the proceedings with interest and suspicion. WhenBones was mysterious he was very mysterious; and he returned that nightin such a condition of mystery that none but a thought-readingdetective could have unravelled him.

"You seem infernally pleased with yourself, Bones," said Hamilton.

"What lamentable error have you fallen into?"

"Dear old Ham," said Bones, with the helpless little laugh whichcharacterised the very condition of mind which Hamilton had described,"dear old pryer, wait till to-morrow. Dear old thing, I wouldn't spoilit. Read your jolly old newspaper, dear old inquirer."

"Have you been to the police court?" asked Hamilton.

"Police court? Police court?" said Bones testily. "Good Heavens, lad!Why this jolly old vulgarity? No, dear boy, live and learn, dear oldthing!"

Hamilton undoubtedly lived until the next morning, and learnt. He sawthe headlines the second he opened his newspaper.

GREAT DEAL IN JUTE. PROMINENT CITY MAN BUYS GOVERNMENT SUPPLY OF JUTE FOR A MILLION

Hamilton was on his way to the office, and fell back in the corner ofthe railway carriage with a suppressed moan. He almost ran to theoffice, to find Bones stalking up and down the room, dictating aninterview to a reporter.

"One minute, one minute, dear old Ham," said. Bones warningly. Andthen, turning to the industrious journalist, he went on where Hamiltonhad evidently interrupted him. "You can say that I've spent a greatdeal of my life in fearfully dangerous conditions," he said. "Youneedn't say where, dear old reporter, just say 'fearfully dangerousconditions.'"

"What about jute?" asked the young man.

"Jute," said Bones with relish, "or, as we call it, Corchariscapsilaris, is the famous jute tree. I have always been interested injute and all that sort of thing – But you know what to say betterthan I can tell you. You can also say that I'm young – no, don't saythat. Put it like this: 'Mr. Tibbetts, though apparentlyyoung-looking, bears on his hardened old face the marks of years spentin the service of his country. There is a sort of sadness about hisfunny old eyes – ' You know what to say, old thing."

"I know," said the journalist, rising. "You'll see this in the nextedition, Mr. Tibbetts."

When the young man had gone, Hamilton staggered across to him.

"Bones," he said, in a hollow voice, "you've never bought this stufffor a million?"

"A million's a bit of an exaggeration, dear old sportsman," said Bones."As a matter of fact, it's about half that sum, and it needn't be paidfor a month. Here is the contract." He smacked his lips and smackedthe contract, which was on the table, at the same time. "Don't getalarmed, don't get peevish, don't get panicky, don't be a wicked oldflutterer, Ham, my boy!" he said. "I've reckoned it all out, and Ishall make a cool fifty thousand by this time next week."

"What will you pay for it?" asked Hamilton, in a shaky voice. "I mean, how much a ton?"

Bones mentioned a figure, and Hamilton jotted down a note.

He had a friend, as it happened, in the jute trade – the owner of a bigmill in Dundee – and to him he dispatched an urgent telegram. Afterthat he examined the contract at leisure. On the fourth page of thatinteresting document was a paragraph, the seventh, to this effect:

"Either parties to this contract may, for any reason whatsoever, bygiving notice either to the Ministry of Supplies, Department 9, or tothe purchaser at his registered office, within twenty-four hours of thesigning of this contract, cancel the same."

He read this over to Bones.

"That's rum," he said. "What is the idea?"

"My jolly old captain," said Bones in his lordly way, "how should Iknow? I suppose it's in case the old Government get a better offer.Anyway, dear old timidity, it's a contract that I'm not going toterminate, believe me!"

The next afternoon Bones and Hamilton returned from a frugal lunch at anear-by tavern, and reached the imposing entrance of the building inwhich New Schemes Limited was housed simultaneously – or perhaps itwould be more truthful to say a little later – than a magnificentlimousine. It was so far ahead of them that the chauffeur had time todescend from his seat, open the highly-polished door, and assist to thehonoured sidewalk a beautiful lady in a large beaver coat, who carriedunder her arm a small portfolio.

There was a certain swing to her shoulder as she walked, a certainundulatory movement of hip, which spoke of a large satisfaction withthe world as she found it.

Bones, something of a connoisseur and painfully worldly, pursed hislips and broke off the conversation in which he was engaged, and whichhad to do with the prospective profits on his jute deal, and remarkedtersely: