Uncle Joe's Stories

Nevertheless, Ophelia had gained her end: the king had publicly declared that she, and she only, was his queen, and the rest appeared to depend upon herself.

By this time the Chief Justice was in a condition which rendered it desirable that no further business of importance should be transacted, for the excitement of the afternoon had proved altogether too much for him. He was therefore assisted to his room, and retired amid loud cheers from such of the guests as had not made sufficient noise before. Then Ophelia directed the butler and his attendants to conduct Famcram to the state chamber, and to direct the guards to be placed in the usual manner.

The courtiers and guests were forthwith dismissed, and the eventful day drew to its close.

Many and deep were the thoughts which occupied Ophelia's mind that night; she had a difficult game to play, and though her spirit was high and her courage undaunted, it was impossible that she should not feel some anxiety as to the result. So far, indeed, all had gone well.

Famcram, who had evidently entered the banqueting-room with no better intentions towards her father and herself than those which he had entertained and carried out in the case of the unhappy families of Binks and Chinks, had been entirely overcome by the magic assistance of her godmother.

The jam had proved most efficacious indeed, and the evening had been one continued triumph.

But doubts and fears still remained as to the future. At the very moment of the king's recognition of her as his queen, he had but too plainly evinced a disinclination to the step which appeared to indicate that the power of the jam was but temporary, unless, indeed, it was the last struggle of his obstinate nature against that power. He had certainly yielded, and nothing could have been more complete than Ophelia's victory. But then came the question, if the jam had not sufficient force to keep the king enchained as her slave for a longer time than the duration of the banquet, might not its power die away altogether before morning? In that case, what would be her position if the monarch, too wary to see her, and so run the risk of being again subjected to the same treatment, should issue orders directed against her and hers, and fully revenge himself for the events of the previous evening?

True – if she retained the jar, she might operate upon his messengers in such a manner as to prevent their inflicting personal injury upon herself, but she would probably be unable to protect her father or his property, as the power she possessed seemed to be personal, closely connected with the jam, and such as could only be exercised when she had the jar in her hand.

Suppose, again, that Famcram should awake during the night, discover that he was not in his own palace, summon his attendants, and surprise her father and slay or capture him whilst asleep. Or suppose he should leave the house by stealth, and that next morning it should be surrounded by royal guards before she was awake, and her jar possibly taken from her.

All these thoughts passed constantly through the mind of the daughter of Pigspud, and she got but little rest throughout the whole of that long and dreary night.

Early in the morning she arose, performed her toilet with the greatest care, and forthwith descended to the grand drawing-room of the mansion, where several of the courtiers had already assembled. The king had not yet made his appearance, and it must be owned that Ophelia awaited his coming with some anxiety. Presently, however, the doors were thrown open, and the sun shining through the great windows on the staircase, fell full upon the bright red hair of the little monarch, making it brighter than ever.

As he slowly descended, Ophelia grasped tightly in her hand the little jar, which she kept concealed in the folds of her dress, quite prepared to have recourse to it again immediately, if occasion should require. She soon saw, however, that she need be under no immediate apprehension. There was a submissive look about Famcram's general appearance, and a humility even in his squint (which seemed that morning to be more frightful than ever), which greatly re-assured the maiden.

He came limping into the room, and bowed before her as he entered. Now was the moment when Ophelia's course of action must be clear and certain. She had already resolved upon it, and proceeded according to her determination.

To keep Famcram in awe of herself – to preserve their last evening's relations of mistress and slave – was positively necessary, but it was equally desirable not to lower her future husband in the eyes of his courtiers and attendants. She therefore saluted him with a graceful bend of the head, and invited him to the breakfast-room, where they took their seats side by side.

The Chief Justice was rather late that morning, at which nobody manifested any surprise, having seen that his fatigue was great on the previous evening. Ophelia therefore had everything to do, and she did it admirably. The guests were well treated, the breakfast was excellently arranged, and everybody appeared satisfied and in good spirits.

At the conclusion of the repast, Ophelia notified to the king that he should appoint a time that morning at which he would receive his subjects, and publicly fix the day upon which their marriage should be celebrated.

The little man made no objection, and trembled visibly when the maiden fixed her eyes upon him. So it was arranged that at a public audience to be held at twelve o'clock, the king should make solemn proclamation of his intended marriage, and that, as delays in such matters were undesirable, the ceremony should be performed the very next day.

Thus far had Ophelia Pigspud certainly overcome the evils with which fate had threatened her, and she began to feel confident that all would go well, and that her triumph would be final and complete. Twelve o'clock came, and the appointed reception was duly held, the proclamation that it would be so having attracted many of the better class of Pigmies. The shortness of the notice was no hindrance to this result.

In some countries, I have been told, when subjects are admitted to the presence of their sovereign, they are compelled, whether men or women, to adopt a costume which they never think of wearing at any other time, which is exceedingly inconvenient and sometimes ridiculous. Although these ceremonies take place, like the royal receptions in Pigmyland, in the broad daylight, the ladies who attend are obliged to do so in dresses more fit for evening parties, with their heads fantastically arranged and crowned with feathers, more ludicrous than imposing, while, irrespective of weather, their throats and chests are exposed in a manner exceedingly likely to produce colds and coughs and such like undesirable ailments.

The gentlemen, all armed with swords, as if the sovereign was likely to order a sudden attack upon them, or to require their services in order to repel one upon himself, are dressed in various degrees of absurdity, according to the particular rank or grade to which each belongs, but no one wears an ordinary dress, and the whole thing is somewhat like a fancy ball or a masquerade without the masks. These, however, are of course only half civilized people, and not an intelligent and progressive race such as the Pigmies. The latter appear before their monarch in their ordinary clothes, the only regulation being that they shall be decent and respectable, as in fact they always are. Thus the sovereign sees his people as they really are, whilst they on their part come into the royal presence without restraint, or the uncomfortable feeling of presenting an appearance similar to that of a jackdaw in peacock's feathers. This ensures a large attendance on reception days, which are also the more frequently held, and at short notice, since they do not entail upon the people, as in the countries to which I have alluded, the necessity of long notice to dress-makers and tailors, and the not inconsiderable expense contingent upon dealings with such people. So although the proclamation was only made upon the same morning, the greater part of the aristocracy of Famcram's capital, together with many of the middle classes, who were not excluded from that court, attended his reception.

Ophelia stood by his side, carefully retaining the jar of jam all the time, and the little monarch was as submissive as upon the previous day. The people saw and recognised her position.

Whether they murmured at all, or entertained any objection to the sudden elevation of the daughter of Pigspud, I cannot say, but at all events no such feeling was evinced, the reception passed off as well as Ophelia could possibly have wished, and Famcram was as much her slave as ever.

For greater security, she gave him a small piece of bread and jam immediately after luncheon, and he really seemed to require no more in order to keep him perfectly submissive and obedient to the will of his mistress. Of course it was necessary to make great preparations for the next day.

Chief Justice Pigspud, finding his daughter's position, to all appearance, firmly established, took heart again, recovered much of his former confidence, and began to hold up his head and to prepare to take a full share in the future government of the kingdom. He naturally took the lead in arranging the proceedings of the following day, the more especially as Famcram seemed to have suddenly changed his character. Instead of being captious, jealous, ill-tempered, arbitrary, and tyrannical, he appeared to have subsided into a meek, quiet, timid being, who hardly dared call his soul his own. He spoke, looked, and moved as if in a kind of stupor, and obeyed every command of Ophelia without a protest or even a murmur of objection.

The Chief Justice, seeing that this result had been obtained in some mysterious way, was too well satisfied with it to trouble his daughter by inquiries into the means she had used or the agencies she had employed. It is due to the old man to say that he suspected nothing unlawful, but even had he entertained such suspicions, I do not know that he would have deemed it necessary to take any action upon them, since, whatever the means taken, the end secured had been one so desirable.

With all his faults Pigspud was not without generosity, and now that he saw good prospects of prosperity before him and his house, he bethought himself of his old associates, Binks and Chinks, and determined, if possible, to effect their release from unmerited imprisonment.

With this object he went to his daughter in the afternoon of the day before the wedding, representing to her that it would be a graceful act on her part, and one likely to be popular with the people, if she were to persuade the king to release his old ministers and their families, and invite them to be present at his approaching nuptials.

Ophelia was somewhat vexed at the request. She hardly felt as yet sufficiently secure in her position to run any risks, and, although she would have been glad enough to have aided in the release of the Prime Minister and the Lord Chamberlain, an indefinable something seemed to tell her that in the daughters of the two ministers she would find enemies who had better not be placed in any position in which they could possibly do harm.

She knew the power which jealousy has over the female mind – that is to say, in Pigmyland, though, of course, in ordinary countries, such a feeling is unknown to the softer sex – and she feared she knew not what. However, she felt that it would be ungracious, as well as ungrateful, to refuse her father his first request, and she, therefore, told Famcram that the prisoners must be released in order to be present at the wedding next day. The king raised no objection, but did as he was told, and orders were immediately sent to the dungeons for the liberation of the ex-ministers and their families, at which they were, of course, delighted; but some difficulty was experienced after their release from prison, as to where they should go to, inasmuch as King Famcram had appropriated all their property. As, however, their respective houses remained unoccupied, they were permitted to return thither, and make themselves as comfortable as they could. The ladies of the party were the worst off, and great were their complaints of total inability to appear in proper dresses at the festivities on the ensuing day.

Ophelia felt for their difficulty, and did all she could to remove it, supplying them with many articles of dress from her own wardrobe, and assuring them of her sincere sympathy for their sufferings in the past, and her readiness to promote their happiness in the future. So when the morning fixed for the royal marriage dawned, all seemed likely to go well, and content reigned upon the face of every Pigmy.

Owing to a conflagration which, at a subsequent period, destroyed all the records in the public offices of that country, I am unable to supply my readers with a full and accurate account of all the details of the interesting ceremony which united Ophelia to her royal husband.

Various accounts were written and published at the time, but none of them by authority, and I am unwilling to trust to unauthorized narratives when dealing with a subject of such immense importance. That which it most concerns us to know, however, is that the wedding actually took place, which fact having been once ascertained, even the appearance of the bride and the dresses of the bridesmaids become matters of comparatively little moment Of this great fact there is happily no doubt.

King Famcram was legally married to Ophelia Pigspud after the custom of Pigmy marriages, and the maiden was undoubtedly Queen of the Pigmies. Her first act was at once gracious and becoming. She caused Binks and Chinks to be reinstated in their former offices, and arranged that pecuniary compensation should be given them for the losses they had sustained. Furthermore, she appointed Euphemia and Araminta Binks, together with the three daughters of the lord chamberlain, Asphalia, Bettina, and Paraphernalia, as her ladies in waiting, and promised to them and to herself that the court should ever be made the scene of gaieties and entertainments to which it had long been a stranger.

But however good were the motives of Ophelia, however kind her feeling towards these five young ladies, however pleasant her plans might have appeared to them under other circumstances, I am sorry to say that they neither believed in nor appreciated them.

Feelings of jealousy had sprung up within their tender breasts, from the first moment that they had found Ophelia preferred to the throne before themselves. Possessed, as has been related, of beauty, wit, and fascination in different degrees, but in the case of each of them, a superior degree to the generality of maidens, they felt that they had, each and all, as good a right to have shared the throne of Famcram as the more fortunate damsel who had obtained that position.

Instead, therefore, of being loyal to Ophelia, and grateful for her kindness towards them, they regarded her with envy and spite, and their beautiful faces but ill reflected the ugly feelings which occupied their hearts. Ignorant of this, Ophelia had forgotten her first fears and doubts upon the question of their release, and, unsuspicious of evil, kept one or other of the maidens constantly near her.

For a day or two all went well. The king kept in the same state of torpor, and his passive obedience to his wife made him, in the general opinion of Pigmy ladies, a model for all husbands. Ophelia, however, knowing the source from which her power was derived, kept her jar always at hand, so that she might be able to have immediate recourse to it if the occasion should arise. It was not extraordinary that, under these circumstances, her ladies in waiting should become acquainted with, and take notice of, the fact. It became, very shortly after their appointment, a matter of conversation amongst them, and of wonder that the Queen should always carry about with her a common looking little jar, of which they knew neither the use nor the contents.

Paraphernalia, the youngest and prettiest of the Chinks family, wished to ask a question about it outright, but the worldly wisdom of her elder sisters checked her, for they feared that their position at court might be imperilled by any forwardness or impertinence of the kind.

Whether Ophelia, if asked, would have given such information, or at least have dropped such hints, as might have prevented the occurrence of the facts I am about to relate, cannot now be known. The opportunity was not afforded her, and the five ladies in waiting remained in ignorance upon the subject.

On the third day after her marriage, Ophelia was to receive the ladies of the court and such of the fairer portion of Pigmyland as desired to be presented to her. She was richly arrayed in garments well suited to the occasion, and looked right royal as she stood to receive her guests. The king, with meek and submissive gait, stood by her side, and never had she looked more lovely or felt more triumphant. Resolved, however, to take care of safety as well as of appearance, she kept in her left hand the little jar, having a scarf lightly thrown over her arm and concealing it from view. It had not, however, escaped the sharp eyes of Paraphernalia Chinks, who determined in her own mind that the day should not pass by without her knowing something more about the evident mystery to which that jar related. The ladies in waiting were, naturally enough, near the queen, and stood looking on whilst those who were presented to her majesty trooped by, making their reverent obeisances as they did so.

After a while, Ophelia began to feel rather tired of bowing and smiling, but still continued graciously to do so, until an elderly dame in passing, tripped over her train and seemed in danger of falling. The queen made an involuntary movement forward as if to save her, and in so doing happened to loosen her hold upon the jar in her left hand. At the very same instant, Paraphernalia, who had been watching her opportunity all the time, started forward as if to assist her majesty, and, as if by accident, gave a violent push to her left arm, when, sad to relate, the jar fell from her hand upon the marble pavement at her feet, and was instantly broken in pieces.

At the sight of the contents, which appeared to be ordinary jam, the ladies-in-waiting could hardly restrain themselves from exclamations of surprise, and all the more so when they perceived the pallor which immediately overspread the countenance of the queen. But their attention was at once directed to something else.

Scarcely had the accident happened, and the jar slipped from Ophelia's grasp and met with the fate I have described, when a great and marvellous change came over the appearance and demeanour of the king. No longer meek and subdued, his countenance flushed with rage, his squinting appeared more furiously malicious than ever, and he stood before the Court, not the obedient slave and husband, but once more the tyrant Famcram, restored to his former self.

He passed his hand across his brow, as if to sweep away from him some unpleasant memories, and then glared fiercely around him for a minute without uttering a syllable. There was a dead silence. Everybody feared some dreadful outburst, and nobody knew what to expect.

Then Famcram broke forth in fury —

"What sorcery is here?" he cried. "What witchcraft has been going on? What drab is this whom I see beside me assuming a place as if she were queen? Who are these over-dressed peacocks on every side? Toads, vipers, serpents! Ho, guards! away with them!" and again he looked with frightful grimaces upon those who stood about him.

Binks, Chinks, and Pigspud fell instantly on their knees, all in a row. The ladies-in-waiting, between trembling and fainting, did nothing for the moment, whilst Ophelia, recognising at once that her power of compulsion was gone, resolved to make an instant appeal to the better feelings of the king.

"Sire," she said, turning round and confronting him with dignity, "I am your lawful queen. Three days ago you wedded me, and I share your throne. Pray let us govern with justice and mercy, and you shall never have cause to repent of having elevated me to this position."

"Position! You! Throne! Queen! Us govern!" shrieked Famcram at the top of his voice, now perfectly beside himself with fury. "You fool! You idiot! You jackanapes! You witch! You vile creature! You a queen, forsooth! Out upon your folly, that led you to try and deceive Famcram. Seize her, guards!" he continued; "seize the whole lot of them! Strip off their fine robes, and away with them to the palace dungeons! We will soon see who is to be king and master here!"

As he spoke, the obedient guards came forward; and, in spite of all that Ophelia could do or say, stripped her of her ornaments, and cloak of rich fur, took from her head the crown with which the queens of that country were always decorated on state occasions, and began to drag her away.