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Nobody’s Son: All Alex ever wanted was a family of his own

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2018
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‘Can I sit on your lap?’ he whispered.

‘Yes, of course.’

‘This is Alex,’ I said to Rosemary and Edward as we entered the living room. I went to the armchair and lifted him onto my lap.

‘Hello, Alex,’ Edward said. ‘I’m Edward and this is my wife, Rosemary.’ It was far too formal and distant, but I put it down to nerves.

‘This is your new mummy and daddy,’ I said to Alex.

Looking up at them from under a lowered head he managed a small, wary smile.

‘I see you’ve got the photograph album I made for you,’ Rosemary said. ‘Do you like it?’

Alex nodded. ‘He did, very much,’ I said. ‘We’ve all had a look.’ Adrian and Paula were sitting on the floor beside the toy boxes. They’d stopped playing and were now studying Alex’s parents.

‘We were very impressed by how smart you looked in your photograph,’ I said, making conversation.

‘Thank you,’ Rosemary said, and again smiled at Alex. ‘That’s kind of you. We saw a picture of you in your school uniform and you looked very smart too.’ Her manner was just right and she seemed more at ease than Edward, who clearly didn’t know what to say for the best. ‘And you like school?’

Alex managed another small nod.

‘So, Alex, what hobbies do you like?’ Edward asked.

Alex shrugged. Put on the spot, his mind had gone blank. I knew that feeling well.

‘You like lots of things, don’t you?’ I said, giving him a reassuring hug. ‘You like riding your bike, playing all sorts of games, drawing and painting, reading and watching some television.’

‘Chess?’ Edward asked. ‘I’m teaching James to play. Do you play chess?’ Alex shook his head.

‘You’ll be able to teach him, won’t you, love?’ Rosemary said to Edward. Then to Alex, ‘Would you like that?’

Alex nodded.

So we – the adults – continued making conversation, contrived and stilted, but no more than I’d expected for this first meeting. Alex sat on my lap, clutching his photograph album and Simba, and managing a small nod where appropriate and stealing glances at his parents. Then, after about ten minutes, he slid from my lap, placed the album and Simba on the floor and went over to join Adrian and Paula – a sign he was feeling more comfortable. The toys they were playing with were a mixture of Alex’s, Adrian’s and Paula’s. They were still sharing nicely, although we always separated them into their respective toy boxes when we cleared up at bedtime.

‘You’ve got some lovely toys, Alex,’ Rosemary said. ‘Do you have a favourite?’

‘This one,’ Alex said, finally able to talk to her and holding up the car transporter loaded with cars.

‘Wow, that looks good,’ Rosemary enthused. ‘James has cars too. Can I have a closer look?’

‘Show it to your mum,’ I encouraged.

Alex stood and went over to the sofa. Standing close to Rosemary but not quite touching, he proudly showed her the transporter. She admired it as any mother appreciated and praised their child’s interests. ‘Look at all those wheels,’ she said, pointing to its underside. ‘And all those different makes of car it’s carrying. I think that looks like a Jaguar. Wow. How does the back of the transporter lower to take the cars off?’

Alex set the transporter on her lap, unclipped the back and began rolling off the cars.

‘I think James had one just like this, didn’t he?’ Rosemary asked Edward, bringing him into the conversation.

Edward nodded. ‘He used to like playing with cars when he was little.’

Rosemary admired each car as Alex carefully ‘drove’ it off the transporter and onto her lap as Edward looked on. Then she helped Alex load them again. Alex was far more relaxed now he was playing with her. When they’d reloaded the cars Rosemary asked, ‘Can you show me what else you have in your toy box?’

‘Yes,’ Alex said. ‘But you’ll have to come and sit on the floor with us.’ Which she did, admiring not only Alex’s toys, but Adrian’s and Paula’s as well.

After about ten minutes, I became aware that the time was passing and I felt Edward needed to be more included, so I suggested that they might like to play a board game all together. Alex looked hopefully at his parents. ‘Yes, please,’ Rosemary said, and Edward nodded.


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