Please Don’t Take My Baby and I Miss Mummy 2-in-1 Collection

Thnk u, came the reply.

For the same reason I hadn’t stayed at the hospital the night before – that Jade had wanted her mother – I didn’t go to the hospital that morning. After taking Paula to school I went home, got on with the housework and some foster-carer training I had been asked to facilitate, and waited for news. I didn’t really expect to hear anything for a couple of hours, as Jill would be sleeping after being on night duty and Rachel would be busy arranging Jade’s transfer. At some point I’d have to pack up Jade’s belongings and either they would be collected or I would take them to wherever Jade was being discharged to. If I was honest, in terms of a fostering placement Jade’s stay with me hadn’t really been very rewarding; I didn’t feel I’d achieved much. Rachel had asked me to teach her home-care skills, but Jade had hardly been at home, so that other than advising her about her diet – fewer fry-ups and biscuits and more fresh fruit and vegetables – teaching her anything hadn’t really been possible.

By one o’clock I was expecting news at any moment, so when the phone rang at 1.30 I sprang to answer it. As I thought it might be, it was Rachel, and from the quick way in which she spoke I could tell she was very busy and stressed.

‘Sorry I haven’t phoned sooner,’ she began. ‘I’ve been on the phone all morning trying to arrange Jade’s transfer. I’ve left a message with Homefinders and Jill will phone you later. We’ve got a problem. There’s still only one mother-and-baby placement free at present and that is out of the county. The carer is a lovely lady and an experienced carer but Jade is refusing to go. I’ve just spoken to Jackie again and she says Jade is adamant she won’t move out of the area, even for a few weeks.’

‘So there’s no chance of Jade going home, then?’ I asked. ‘Now she is reunited with her mother?’

‘No. There isn’t the space. Also Jackie’s at work for a large part of each day and has her other kids to look after. She can’t give Jade the support and supervision she’ll need; she struggled before. Now Jade has the baby she’ll need someone with her to help and advise her.’ Which I understood. ‘I’ve spoken to the ward sister,’ Rachel continued. ‘And they’re waiting to discharge Jade, but she’s refusing to go if she has to live outside the county. She’s really dug her heels in, little madam.’ Rachel paused to take a breath and I thought she was going to ask me if I could go to the hospital and try to persuade Jade to go, but Rachel said: ‘So I was wondering if Jade could come back to you? Just for the time being, until I can sort something out.’

‘So the baby’s staying in hospital?’ I asked, misunderstanding what Rachel was saying.

‘No. Courtney is healthy and nearly full term. There is no reason to keep her in hospital. They will both need to come to you.’

‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Well, no. That’s not possible. I don’t have any baby equipment. And Jade’s room isn’t big enough for two. It’s a single room.’

‘Yes, I know, I’ve seen the room and it’s big enough short term. There’s enough space for a cot, and Jade is used to sharing. I could speak to Jill about helping you get the baby things you need.’

I felt my pulse start to race. ‘When? Which day is she being discharged?’

‘She’s free to go now.’

‘But Rachel, it’s after one thirty! I’ll be going to school in just over an hour to collect Paula. I’ve nothing here ready for a baby. Nothing. Sorry, I can’t do it.’

It went quiet at the other end of the phone and I hoped Rachel appreciated that her request was totally impractical, although I understood why she’d asked me. There are never enough foster carers, especially specialists who can take a mother and baby, and while I always tried to help the social services whenever I could this just wasn’t possible.

‘What if I asked the hospital to keep Jade and Courtney for another night?’ Rachel now said, coming back on the line. ‘Would that give you enough time to prepare?’

I was about to say no – it takes weeks to prepare for the arrival of a baby – but I stopped and thought. Then I made some funny umm and errr noises. I had a cot and pram packed away in the loft. They’d been Adrian’s and Paula’s, and I’d used them three years previously when I’d looked after Harrison (whose story I told in A Baby’s Cry). At that time I’d bought a new mattress for the cot, and Rachel had just said she would speak to Jill about helping me with the other baby equipment I needed. I ummed and ahhed some more and then said: ‘What time tomorrow? It can’t be in the morning. I need time to prepare.’

‘If I arranged their discharge for one o’clock, would that give you enough time?’

My thoughts raced. ‘I’ll need to know what Jade has and what I need to buy,’ I said, thinking aloud. ‘Then I could go shopping to get what I need first thing in the morning after I’ve taken Paula to school.’

‘So is one o’clock all right with you, then?’ Rachel asked, pressing me for a definite response.

‘I guess so,’ I said. ‘Yes. All right.’

‘Thank you. You’re a star!’ Rachel declared, sounding very relieved. ‘I’ll phone the hospital now and speak to the ward sister. Then I’ll talk to Jade, Jackie, Jill, and get back to you.’

I didn’t feel like a star; I felt panic-stricken. Whatever had I agreed to? I walked away from the phone trying to reassure myself that I liked a challenge and that I could rise to this one as I had risen to others. But fostering a teenage girl and her newborn baby was very different from the challenges I usually faced: children who were angry or withdrawn as a result of abuse or severe neglect. Was I up to it? Had I made the right decision? I sincerely hoped so.

Twenty minutes later I was releasing the loft ladders, ready to go into the loft to see what baby equipment was stored there, when the phone rang. Leaving the ladders in place, I went round the landing and answered the call in my bedroom. I was pleased to hear Jill – in her best organizing mood.

‘I’m making a list,’ she began. ‘Rachel’s phoned and I’ve asked her to find out what Jade has at home so that we know what we need to get you. I’ve printed out the list of essential items from the maternity page of the hospital’s website.’

‘Thank you, Jill,’ I said. ‘That’s a big help.’ One of the great advantages of working for an independent fostering agency as opposed to a local authority is that their level of support is fantastic and practical when necessary. ‘I’m just about to go into the loft and check what’s up there,’ I said. ‘I’m sure there’s a cot and a pram. Can I get back to you when I’ve had a look – in about ten minutes?’

‘Sure,’ she said. ‘Has Jade got any baby things with her at your place?’

‘No. Nothing.’

‘I had a feeling that might be so. OK. I’ll let you get on and speak to you shortly.’

Returning round the landing I climbed the loft ladders, switched on the light and peered into the loft. Straight in front of me, wrapped in polythene to protect them from dust, were the dismantled cot and the three-in-one pram, which converted into a pushchair and a carry-car seat. I also spotted a bouncing cradle I’d forgotten I had, and the equipment I’d bought when I’d fostered Harrison: a new cot mattress, a baby bath, a changing mat and a sterilizing unit. All of which I’d packed away, intending to car-boot sale them at some point, never imagining I might need them again.

I carried them carefully down the loft ladders, one piece at a time, and stacked them on the landing. The cot would need assembling and I’d ask Adrian and Paula to help me later. It would be nice for them if they felt involved. Once I had all the baby equipment down I retracted the loft ladders and closed the hatch. Then I went round to my bedroom and phoned Jill. I went through the list of things I had, finishing with ‘a cot but no bedding, and a sterilizer but no bottles’. For health and safety reasons – to minimize the risk of spreading infection – foster carers are advised to discard bottles and bedding once an infant has left them and not use them again for another baby, even though they will have been washed and sterilized.

‘I’ve made a note,’ Jill said. ‘Rachel has spoken to Jackie and she says that apart from some baby toys and one packet of disposable nappies Jade hasn’t bought anything. However, Jackie has. A few weeks ago she bought some first-size babygros, vests, socks and a shawl.’

‘Sensible lady,’ I said.

‘Yes. Courtney will also need a warm zip-up suit to come home in from the hospital. It’s cold. I’ve put that on the list. Also Jade says she doesn’t want to breastfeed, so we’ll need to get some bottles and formula milk.’

I gave a little sigh. ‘There’s so much to do and so little time.’

Then Jill said: ‘We’re reasonably quiet in the office at present. Shall I pop out and get you what you need now?’

‘Oh, yes please, Jill, would you? I said, grateful. ‘Thank you. That would be a big help.’

‘Can you think of anything else?’

‘Baby wipes and lotion?’ I suggested.

‘I’ve got those written down already.’

‘I think that’s all, then.’

I thanked Jill again and we said goodbye. I then went round the landing to Jade’s bedroom, where I began preparing the room for Jade’s return by first unpacking her case, which she’d never got around to doing. I stowed it out of the way on top of the wardrobe, made her bed, and folded away the clothes she’d left strewn across the furniture. I then pushed the bed to one side to make more space in the room for the cot. Rachel was right: now the room was tidy there was space for the cot.

On my way downstairs I took the sterilizing unit and bouncing cradle, and then returned for the pram, which I left in the hall. Seeing these items again sent my thoughts back to little Harrison and I remembered the apprehension I’d felt when I had first been asked to foster him – a tiny newborn baby. I had worried then that I wouldn’t remember what to do, as my last experience of looking after a baby had been with my daughter Paula – five years previously. But of course I’d remembered what to do, just as I would remember when Courtney arrived, although this would be a little different, for it wouldn’t be me who was looking after the baby but Jade. I would be on hand to advise Jade and keep an eye on the welfare of them both. And as I began to picture how I could help Jade look after Courtney my anxiety lessened and I found I was actually looking forward to their arrival. I just hoped Adrian and Paula agreed.

‘Yippee!’ Paula said when I told her that afternoon as I met her from school. ‘I’m going to tell Sara and Maxine!’ And she skipped across the playground to share her good news with her two closest friends.

Adrian’s reaction when he returned home from school was predictably less enthusiastic: ‘Not a smelly baby. Gross!’ he said, rummaging in the kitchen cupboard for a snack. Then: ‘Will Ty be visiting?’

‘Yes, I would think so, although not necessarily this evening.’ Which helped.

‘Cool,’ he said. ‘Ty can play on the PlayStation while Jade plays with the baby.’ And he disappeared up to his room, munching an apple while opening a bag of crisps.

Shortly before 5.30 p.m. the doorbell rang and it was Jill, loaded with bags and packages, having come straight from the shopping mall.

‘Welcome, welcome,’ I enthused, ushering her in. ‘You’re an angel!’

‘You bet,’ she joked. ‘I think I’ve got everything. Shall I leave the bags here in the hall for now?’

‘Yes please. I’ll sort them out later. Coffee?’