A Daughter’s Dream

‘I promise,’ I said and went to hug her. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, Mum. It’s just that I can’t live here, and I do need a job.’

‘I understand, darling. Your father and I just want to see you happy.’

‘It’s only for a year or so until Matthew saves enough for the house.’ I gave her a teasing look. ‘What can happen in a year? I’m not likely to get abducted by a white slaver, am I?’

‘Please don’t joke about such things!’ she said sharply. ‘You are so innocent, Amy. I shall be glad when you get married.’

Her tone and her look surprised me. It was unlike my mother to be so sharp, and for a moment she had looked almost frightened.

‘What have you been buying?’ Maggie Ryan stopped me in the street as I made my way home that evening. ‘You’re looking well, Amy. Are you home for good now?’

‘I’m not sure. I may go to stay with my aunt for a while. She’s offered me a job in her shop.’

‘Oh well, take care of yourself, love.’

Maggie nodded and went inside her house. She lived a few doors away from my parents and had been my mother’s friend for years. It was her daughter-in-law, Kathy, who had saved my mother from being attacked by Ernie Cole. Kathy’s first husband, Billy, had been killed in a fight with the police on the docks some months ago now.

I heard my parents talking in the kitchen when I went in. I had been to the market to see if there were any nice pictures on a stall that sold the work of unknown artists, and I had managed to buy a pretty view of a country cottage that I thought my mother might like.

‘You know why I’m worried, Joe,’ my mother was saying as I paused outside the door, which was slightly open. ‘Amy is so trusting. If he wanted to harm us …’

‘You worry too much, lass. The man could have caused trouble for us years ago if he had wanted. In my opinion he has forgotten we ever existed. That business is over and done with. Put it right out of your mind.’

‘I’ve never forgotten what he did to Lainie. If it hadn’t been for that it might never have happened. I still blame myself, Joe …’

The back of my neck prickled as I listened. Who were they talking about, and why was my mother so worried?

‘That was years ago. He hasn’t bothered her, why should he harm Amy or us?’

‘You don’t know him as well as I do, Joe.’

‘Amy has me to look after her. If he hurt my girl I would kill him. He knows it, Bridget. I wouldn’t stand by and let him get away with it again.’

I decided it was time I went into the kitchen and made my presence known. My father smiled as he saw me, but my mother’s eyes were clouded by shadows. I felt an ache somewhere in the region of my heart, and felt that I wanted to banish those shadows.

‘I bought this for you, Mum. It will go in your bedroom. The artist is unknown now, but he’s good. One day his work will probably be worth a lot of money.’

Her eyes filled with tears as I showed her the painting, and then she jumped up and hugged me. I hugged her back, my throat tight with emotion.’

‘I love you, Amy.’

‘I love you too, Mum. You don’t have to worry about me. I promise you I’ll be sensible.’

‘Of course you will,’ she said, laughed and brushed a hand across her eyes. ‘I’m being silly. You’re my little girl and I make too much fuss. You go to Lainie’s and enjoy yourself.’

‘Thanks, Mum … Daddy.’ I sent a special smile to him, knowing he had talked her round for my sake. ‘I won’t do anything to make you ashamed of me, I promise.’

‘I never thought you would,’ my father said. ‘I’ve always trusted you completely.’

He turned away to fiddle with his wireless set, which my mother had bought him for the previous Christmas. It took a lot of skill and practice to make it work, but there were now regular broadcasts from the BBC, and my father was an enthusiastic listener.

My mother had begun to set the table for supper and I helped her, taking the blue and white plates down from the dresser and placing them on the snowy-white cloth.

‘Your brother Jon is coming home for a few days next week,’ my mother said as she took a pie from the oven. ‘You will wait to see him before you go, won’t you, Amy?’

‘Yes, of course, Mum. I’m going out after supper. Matt is back from his trip and he’s taking me to the pictures this evening, so I’ll have to hurry and get changed …’

I emerged breathlessly from Matthew’s crushing embrace.

‘If that’s what being away for two weeks does to you …’ I murmured and laughed up at him. ‘I like it. I like it a lot.’

‘I missed you so much!’ He touched my cheek with his fingertips, looking serious and a little apprehensive. ‘And I’ve got something to tell you, Amy.’

‘Something I shan’t like? I can see it in your face. Is it another long trip?’

‘It’s worse,’ Matthew said. ‘The firm wants me to go up to Manchester for six months. They are setting up a distribution centre for the north and they want me to run it for the first few months.’

‘But you can’t!’ I stared at him in dismay. ‘I should never see you.’

‘I’ll come back as often as I can at weekends. Perhaps once a fortnight if I can manage it.’

‘Once a fortnight!’ I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. ‘It was bad enough when you had the long trips, but this is impossible, Matt. Please tell them you can’t do it.’

‘This is very important to me, Amy. It is a step up the ladder to promotion. They’ve promised me another ten pounds a month, and perhaps more if I show them I can do it.’

He was prepared to desert me for ten pounds a month! I felt terribly hurt, even though I knew it was a lot of money to Matthew. But my father could give him the sixty pounds he would gain and never miss it.

‘Daddy will lend you the money for a house,’ I said sulkily. ‘He will give us a good wedding present and you could open your own shop. You wouldn’t have to go away and leave me all the time.’

‘That isn’t the way I do things, Amy.’ His mouth had pulled into a grim line and I knew he was angry. ‘I’ve told you before, I want to stand on my own feet. Ten pounds a month may not sound a lot to you, but the extra will make a difference when it’s added to what I’ve already saved.’

‘But I don’t want you to go!’ I drew back, looking at him unhappily. ‘If you loved me you wouldn’t leave me, Matt.’

‘Whether you believe it or not, I do love you, Amy. But I have to do this for us.’

My eyes filled with tears I was too proud to shed. He was cruel to hurt me like this and I wanted to hurt him back.

‘If you go there might not be any more us.’

The moment I had said it, I wished the words unspoken. Matthew’s eyes were icy cold, his expression disapproving.

‘If I thought you meant that I would take you home right now, Amy Robinson, but I know you don’t. You’re hurt and angry, and you’ve been spoiled. I’m afraid it isn’t always possible to get what you want in life, and you are just going to have to take no for an answer for once.’

His words struck deep. How could he say such a thing to me? I wasn’t spoiled, just indulged by loving parents.

‘Sometimes I don’t like you very much.’

‘Believe me, there are times when I don’t like you, Amy.’