The History of the Devil, As Well Ancient as Modern: In Two Parts

At that very Moment comes a Man hastily from another Part of the Room which they upon the Stairs could not see, bringing a Joint-Stool in his Hand, as if in great Haste, and sets it down just by the Wretch that was hang’d, and getting up as hastily upon it pulls a Knife out of his Pocket, and taking hold of the Rope with one of his Hands, beckon’d to the Woman and the Man behind her with his Head, as if to stop and not come up, shewing them the Knife in his other Hand, as if he was just going to cut the poor Man down.

Upon this, the Woman stopp’d a while, but the Man who stood on the Joint-Stool continued with his Hand and Knife as if fumbling at the Knot, but did not yet cut the Man down; at which the Woman cried out again, and the Man behind her call’d to her. Go up, says he, and help the Man upon the Stool! supposing something hindred. But the Man upon the Stool made Signs to them again to be quiet, and not come on, as if saying, I shall do it immediately; then he made two Strokes with his Knife, as if cutting the Rope, and then stopp’d again; and still the poor Man was hanging, and consequently dying: Upon this, the Woman on the Stairs cried out to him. What ails you? Why don’t you cut the poor Man down? And the Man behind her, having no more Patience, thrusts her by, and said to her. Let me come, I’ll warrant you I’ll do it; and with that runs up and forward into the Room to the Man; but when he came there, behold, the poor Man was there hanging; but no Man with a Knife, or Joint-Stool, or any such thing to be seen, all that was Spectre and Delusion, in order, no doubt, to let the poor Creature that had hang’d himself perish and expire.

The Man was so frighted and surpriz’d, that with all the Courage he had before, he drop’d on the Floor as one dead, and the Woman at last was fain to cut the poor Man down with a Pair of Scissars, and had much to do to effect it.

As I have no room to doubt the Truth of this Story, which I had from Persons on whose Honesty I could depend. So I think it needs very little Trouble to convince us who the Man upon the Stool must be, and that it was the Devil who plac’d himself there in order to finish the Murther of the Man who he had, Devil-like, tempted before, and prevail’d with to be his own Executioner. Besides, it corresponds so well with the Devil’s Nature, and with his Business, viz. that of a Murtherer, that I never question’d it; nor can I think we wrong the Devil at all to charge him with it.

N. B. I cannot be positive in the remaining Part of this Story, viz. whether the Man was cut down soon enough to be recover’d, or whether the Devil carry’d his Point, and kept off the Man and Woman till it was too late; but be it which it will, ’tis plain he did his Devilish Endeavour, and stay’d till he was forc’d to abscond again.

We have many solid Tales well attested, as well in History as in the Reports of honest People, who could not be deceived, intimating the Devil’s personal Appearance, some in one Place, some in another; as also sometimes in one Habit or Dress, and sometimes in another; and it is to be observed, that in none of those which are most like to be real, and in which there is least of Fancy and Vapour, you have any Mention of the Cloven Foot, which rather seems to be a mere Invention of Men (and perhaps chiefly of those who had a Cloven Understanding) I mean a shallow kind of Craft, the Effect of an empty and simple Head, thinking by such a well-meant, tho’ weak Fraud, to represent the Devil to the old Women and Children of the Age, with some Addition suitable to the Weakness of their Intellects, and suited to making them afraid of him.

I have another Account of a Person who travell’d upwards of four Years with the Devil in his Company, and convers’d most intimately with him all the while; nay, if I may believe the Story, he knew most part of the Time that he was the Devil, and yet convers’d with him, and that very profitably, for he perform’d many very useful Services for him, and constantly preserv’d him from the Danger of Wolves and wild Beasts, which the Country he travell’d thro’ was intolerably full of. Where, by the way, you are to understand, that the Wolves and Bears in those Countries knew the Devil, whatever Disguise he went in; or that the Devil has some Way to fright Bears and such Creatures, more than we know of. Nor could this Devil ever be prevail’d upon to hurt him or any of his Company. This Account has an innumerable Number of diverting Incidents attending it; but they are equal to all the rest in Bulk, and therefore too long for this Book.

I find too upon some more ordinary Occasions the Devil has appear’d to several People at their Call: This indeed shews abundance of good Humour in him, considering him as a Devil, and that he was mighty complaisant: Nay some, they tell us, have a Power to raise the Devil whenever they think fit; this I cannot bring the Devil to a Level with, unless I should allow him to be Servus Servorum, as another Devil in Disguise calls himself; subjected to ever old Wizard’s Call; or that he is under a Necessity of appearing on such or such particular Occasions, whoever it is that calls him; which would bring the Devil’s Circumstances to a pitch of Slavery which I see no Reason to believe of them.

Here also I must take Notice again, that tho’ I say the Devil, when I speak of all these Apparitions, whether of a greater or lesser Kind, yet I am not oblig’d to suppose Satan himself in Person is concern’d to shew himself, but that some of his Agents, Deputies and Servants, are sent to that Purpose, and directed what Disguise of Flesh and Blood to put on, as may be suitable to the Occasion.

This seems to be the only Way to reconcile all those simple and ridiculous Appearances which not Satan, but his Emissaries, (which we old Women call Imps) sometimes make, and the mean and sorry Employment they are put to: Thus Fame tells us of a certain Witch of Quality, who call’d the Devil once to carry her over a Brook where the Water was swell’d with a hasty Rain, and lash’d him soundly with her Whip for letting her Ladyship fall into the Water before she was quite over. Thus also, as Fame tells us, she set the Devil to work, and made him build Crowland Abbey, where there was no Foundation to be found, only for disturbing the Workmen a little who were first set about it. So it seems another laborious Devil was oblig’d to dig the great Ditch cross the Country from the Fenn Country to the Edge of Suffolk and Essex; which who ever he has preserv’d the Reputation of, and where it crosses New-Market Heath, ’tis call’d Devil’s Ditch to this Day.

Another Piece of Punishment no doubt it was, when the Devil was oblig’d to bring the Stones out of Wales into Wiltshire, to build Stone-heng: How this was ordered in those Days, when it seems they kept Satan to hard Labour, I know not; I believe it must be registred among the antient Pieces of Art which are lost in the World, such as melting of Stone, painting of Glass, &c. Certainly they had the Devil under Correction in those Days; that is to say, those lesser Sorts of Devils; but I cannot think that the muckle Thief Devil, as they call him in the North, the Grand Seignior Devil of all, was ever reduced to Discipline. What Devil it was that Dunstan took by the Nose with his red hot Tongs, I have not yet examin’d Antiquity enough to be certain of, any more than I can what Devil it was that St. Francis play’d so many warm Tricks with, and made him run away from him so often: However, this I take upon me to say, in the Devil’s Behalf, that it cou’d not be our Satan, the Arch Devil of all Devils, of whom I have been talking so long.

Now is it unworthy the Occasion, to take notice that we really wrong the Devil, and speak of him very much to his Disadvantage, when we say of such a Great Lord, or of such a Lady of Quality, I think the Devil is in your Grace: No, no, Satan has other Business, he very rarely possesses F – ls: Besides, some are so far from having the Devil in them, that they are really transmigrated into the very Essence of the Devil themselves; and others again not transmigrated, or assimilated, but Indeed and in Truth shew us that they are to have mere native Devils in every Part and Parcel of them, and that the rest is only Masque and Disguise. Thus if Rage, Envy, Pride and Revenge can constitute the Parts of a Devil, why should not a Lady of such Quality, in whom all those Extraordinaries abound, have a Right to the Title of being a Devil really and substantially, and to all Intents and Purposes, in the most perfect and absolute Sense, according to the most exquisite Descriptions of Devils already given by me or any Body else; and even just as Joan of Arc, or Joan Queen of Naples were, who were both sent home to their native Country, as soon as it was discovered that they were real Devils, and that Satan acknowledg’d them in that Quality.

Nor does my Lady D – ss’s wearing sometimes a Case of Humanity about her, call’d Flesh and Blood, at all alter the Case; for so ’tis Evident, according to our present Hypothesis, Satan has been always allow’d to do, upon urgent Occasions; ay, and to make his Personal Appearance as such, among even the Sons and Daughters of God too, as well as among the Children of Men; and therefore her Grace may have appeared in the Shape of a fine Lady, as long as she has been suppos’d to do, without any Impeachment of her just Claim to the Title of Devil; which being her true and natural Original, she ought not, nor indeed shall not, by me, be denied her Shapes of Honour, whenever she pleases to declare for a Re-assumption.

And farther, to give every Truth its due Illustration, this need not be thought so strange; and is far from being unjust; her Grace (as she, it may be, is now stiled) has not acted, at least that I never heard of, so unworthy her great and illustrious Original, that we should think she has lost any thing by walking about the World so many Years in Apparition: But to give her the due Homage of her Quality, she has acted as consonant to the Essence and Nature of Devil, which she has such a Claim to, as was consistent with the needful Reserve of her present Disguise.

Nor shall we lead the Reader into any Mistake concerning this part of our Work, as if this was or is meant to be a particular Satyr upon the D – ss of – , and upon her only, as if we had no Devils among us in the Phenomena of fair Ladies, but this one: If Satan would be so honest to us as he might be (and ’twou’d be very ingenuous in him, that must be acknowledg’d, to give us a little of his Illumination in this Case) we should soon be able to unmasque a great many notable Figures among us, to our real Surprize.

Indeed ’tis a Point worth our further Enquiry, and would be a Discovery many ways to our Advantage, were we bless’d with it, to see how many real Devils we have walking up and down the World in Masque, and how many Hoop-Petticoats compleat the entire Masque that disguises the Devil in the Shape of that Thing call’d Woman.

As for the Men, Nature has satisfied her self in letting them be their own Disguise, and in suffering them to act the old Women, as old Women are vulgarly understood, in Matters of Council and Politicks; but if at any time they have Occasion for the Devil in Person, they are oblig’d to call him to their Aid in such Shape as he pleases to make use of pro hac vice; and of all those Shapes, the most agreeable to him seems to be that of a Female of Quality, in which he has infinite Opportunity to act to Perfection, what Part soever he is call’d in for.

How happy are those People who they say have the particular Quality, or acquir’d Habit, call’d the Second Sight; one Sort of whom they tell us are able to distinguish the Devil, in whatever Case or Outside of Flesh and Blood he is pleas’d to put on, and consequently could know the Devil wherever they met him? Were I blest with this excellent and useful Accomplishment, how pleasant would it be, and how would it particularly gratify my Spleen, and all that which I, in common with my fellow Creatures carry about me, call’d Ill-Nature, to stand in the Mall, or at the Entrance to any of our Assemblies of Beauties, and point them out as they pass by, with this particular Mark, That’s a Devil; that fine young Toast is a Devil; There’s a Devil drest in a new Habit for the Ball; There’s a Devil in a Coach and Six, cum aliis. In short, it would make a merry World among us if we cou’d but enter upon some proper Method of such Discriminations: but, Lawr’d, what a Hurricane would it raise, if, like – , who they say scourg’d the Devil so often that he durst not come near him in any Shape whatever, we cou’d find some new Method out to make the Devil unmask, like the Angel Uriel, who, Mr. Milton says, had an enchanted Spear, with which if he did but touch the Devil, in whatever Disguise he had put on, it oblig’d him immediately to start up, and shew himself in his true original Shape, mere Devil as he was.

This would do nicely, and as I who am originally a Projector, have spent some Time upon this Study, and doubt not in a little Time to finish my Engine, which I am contriving, to screw the Devil out of every Body, or any Body; I question not when I have brought it to Perfection, but I shall make most excellent Discoveries by it; and besides the many extraordinary Advantages of it to human Society, I doubt not but it will make good Sport in the World too; wherefore, when I publish my Proposals, and divide it into Shares, as other less useful Projects have been done, I question not, for all the severe Act lately pass’d against Bubbles, but I shall get Subscribers enough, &c.

In a Word, a secret Power of discovering what Devils we have among us, and where and what Business they are doing, would be a vast Advantage to us all; that we might know among the Crowd of Devils that walk about Streets, who are Apparitions, and who are not.

Now I, you must know, at certain Intervals when the Old Gentleman’s Illuminations are upon me, and when I have something of an Eclaricissement with him, have some Degrees of this discriminating Second Sight, and therefore ’tis no strange thing for me to tell a great many of my Acquaintance that they are really Devils, when they themselves know nothing of the Matter: Sometimes indeed I find it pretty hard to convince them of it, or at least they are very unwilling to own it, but it is not the less so for that.

I had a long Discourse upon this Subject one day, with a young beautiful Lady of my Acquaintance, who the World very much admired; and as the World judges no farther than they can see, (and how should they, you would say) they took her to be, as she really was, a most charming Creature.

To me indeed she discover’d her self many Ways, besides the Advantage I had of my extraordinary Penetration by the magic Powers which I am vested with: To me, I say, she appear’d a Fury, a Satyr, a fiery little Fiend as could possibly be dress’d up in Flesh; in short, she appear’d to me what really she was, a very Devil: It is natural to human Creatures to desire to discover any extraordinary Powers they are possess’d of superior to others, and this Itch prevailing in me, among the rest, I was impatient to let this Lady know that I understood her Composition perfectly well, nay, as well as she did her self.

In order to this, happening to be in the Family once for some Days, and having the Honour to be very intimate with her and her Husband too, I took an Opportunity on an extraordinary Occasion, when she was in the Height of good Humour, to talk with her; You must note, that as I said, the Lady was in an extraordinary good Humour, and there had been a great deal of Mirth in the Family for some Days; but one Evening, Sir E — her Husband, upon some very sharp Turn she gave to another Gentleman, which made all the Company pleasant, run to her, and with a Passion of good Humour takes her in his Arms, and turning to me, says he, Jack, This Wife of mine is full of Wit and good Humour, but when she has a Mind to be smart, she is the keenest little Devil in the World: This was alluding to the quick Turn she had given the other Gentleman.

Is that the best Language you can give your Wife, says my Lady? O Madam, says I, such Devils as you, are all Angels; ay, ay, says my Lady, I know that, he has only let a Truth fly out that he does not understand: Look ye there now, says Sir Edward, could any thing but such a dear Devil as this have said a thing so pointed? Well, well, adds he, Devil to a Lady in a Man’s Arms, is a Word of divers Interpretations. Thus they rallied for a good while, he holding her fast all the while in his Arms, and frequently kissing her, and at last it went off, all in Sunshine and Mirth.

But the next Day, for I had the Honour to lodge in the Lady’s Father’s House, where it all happen’d; I say, the next Day my Lady begins with me upon the Subject, and that very smartly, so that first I did not know whether she was in jest or earnest: Ay, ay, says she, you Men make nothing of your Wives after you have them, alluding to the Discourse with Sir Edward the Night before.

Why Madam, says I, we Men, as you are pleas’d to term it, if we meet with good Wives worship them, and make Idols of them, what would you have more of us?

No, no, says she, before you have them they are Angels, but when you have been in Heaven, adds she and smil’d, then they are Devils.

Why Madam, says I, Devils are Angels, you know, and were the highest Sort of Angels once.

Yes, says she, very smartly, all Devils are Angels, but all Angels are not Devils.

But Madam, says I, you should never take it ill to be call’d Devil, you know.

I know, says she, hastily, what d’ye mean by that?

Why Madam, says I, and look’d very gravely and serious, I thought you had known that I knew it, or else I would not have said so, for I would not offend you; but you may depend I shall never discover it, unless you order me to do so for your particular Service.

Upon this she look’d hard and wild, and bid me explain my self.

I told her, I was ready to explain my self, if she would give me her Word, she would not resent it, and would take nothing ill.

She gave me her word solemnly she would not, tho’ like a true Devil she broke her Promise with me all at once.

Well however, being unconcern’d whether she kept her Word or no, I began, by telling her that I had not long since obtain’d the second sight, and had some years studied Magic, by which I could penetrate into many things, which to ordinary Perception were invisible, and had some Glasses, by the Help of which I could see into all visionary or imaginary Appearances in a different Manner than other People did.

Very well, says she, suppose you can, what’s that to me?

I told her it was nothing to her any further than that as she knew her self to be originally not the same Creature she seem’d to be, but was of a sublime angelic Original; so by the Help of my recited Art I knew it too, and so far it might relate to her.

Very fine, says she, so you would make a Devil of me indeed.

I took that Occasion to tell her, I would make nothing of her but what she was; that I suppos’d she knew well enough God Almighty never thought fit to make any human Creature so perfect and compleatly beautiful as she was, but that such were also reserved for Figures to be assum’d by Angels of one Kind or other.

She rallied me upon that, and told me that would not bring me off, for I had not determined her for any thing Angelic, but a meer Devil; and how could I flatter her with being handsome and a Devil both at the same time?

I told her, as Satan, whom we abusively call’d Devil, was an immortal Seraph, and of an original angelic Nature, so abstracted from any thing wicked, he was a most glorious Being; that when he thought fit to encase himself with Flesh, and walk about in Disguise, it was in his Power equally with the other Angels to make the Form he took upon himself be as he thought fit, beautiful or deform’d.

Here she disputed the Possibility of that, and after charging me faintly with flattering her Face, told me the Devil could not be represented by any thing handsome, alledging our constant picturing the Devil in all the frightful Appearances imaginable.

I told her we wrong’d him very much in that, and quoted St. Francis, to whom the Devil frequently appeared in the Form of the most incomparably beautiful naked Woman, to allure him, and what Means he used to turn the Appearance into a Devil again, and how he effected it.

She put by the Discourse, and returned to that of Angels, and insisted that Angels did not always assume beautiful Appearances; that sometimes they appear’d in terrible Shapes, but that when they did not, it was at best only amiable Faces, not exquisite; and that therefore it would not hold, that to be handsome, should always render them suspected.

I told her the Devil had more Occasion to form Beauties than other Angels had, his Business being principally to deceive and ensnare Mankind. And then I gave her some Examples upon the whole.

I found by her Discourse she was willing enough to pass for an Angel, but ’twas the hardest thing in the World to convince her that she was a Devil, and she would not come into that by any means; she argued that I knew her Father, and that her Mother was a very good Woman, and was delivered of her in the ordinary Way, and that there was such and such Ladies who were present in the Room when she was born, and that had often told her so.

I told her that was nothing in such a Case as hers; that when the Old Gentleman had occasion to transform himself into a fine Lady, he could easily dispose of a Child, and place himself in the Cradle instead of it, when the Nurse or Mother were asleep; nay, or when they were broad awake either, it was the same thing to him; and I quoted Luther to her upon that Occasion, who affirms that it had been so. However I said, to convince her that I knew it, (for I would have it that she knew it already) if she pleas’d I would go to my Chamber and fetch her my Magick Looking-glass, where she should see her own Picture, not only as it was an angelick Picture for the World to admire, but a Devil also frightful enough to any Body but herself and me that understood it.

No, no, said she, I’ll look in none of your conjuring Glasses; I know my self well enough, and I desire to look no otherwise than I am.