The History of the Devil, As Well Ancient as Modern: In Two Parts

’Tis the same thing with Rakes and Bullies, as ’tis with Fools and Beaus; and this brings me to the Subject of buying and selling it self, and to examine what is understood by it in the World, what People mean by such and such a Man selling himself to the Devil: I know the common Acceptation of it is, that they make some Capitulation for some Indulgence in Wickedness, on Conditions of Safety and Impunity, which the Devil promises them; tho’ as I said above, he is a Bite in that too, for he can’t perform the Conditions; however, I say, he promises boldly, and they believe him, and for this Privilege in Wickedness, they consent, that he shall come and fetch them for his own, at such or such a Time.

This is the State of the Case in the general Acceptation of it; I do not say ’tis really so, nay ’tis even an Inconsistency in it self; for one would think, they need not capitulate with the Devil to be so, and so, superlatively wicked, and give him such a Price for it, seeing, unless we have a wrong Notion of him, he is naturally enclin’d, as well as avow’dly willing to have all Men be as superlatively wicked as possibly they can, and must necessarily be always ready to issue out his Licenses gratis, as far as his Authority will go in the Case; and therefore I do not see why the Wretches that deal with him, should article with him for a Price; but suppose, for Argument sake, that it is so, then the next Thing is, some capital Crime follows the Contract, and then the Wretch is forsaken, for the Devil cannot protect him, as he promised; so he is Trust up, and like Coleman at the Gallows, he exclaims that there is no Truth in Devils.

It may be true, however, that under the powerful Guard and Protection of the Devil, Men do sometimes go a great Way in Crime, and that perhaps farther in these our Days of boasted Morals than was known among our Fathers; the only Difference that I meet with between the Sons of Belial in former Days, and those of our Ages, seems to be in the Devil’s Management, not in theirs; the Sum of which amounts to this, that Satan seems to act with more Cunning, and they with less; for in the former Ages of Satan’s Dominion, he had much Business upon his Hands, all his Art and Engines, and Engineers also, were kept fully employ’d, to wheedle, allure, betray and circumvent People, and draw them into Crimes, and they found him, as we may say, a full Employment; I doubt not, he was call’d the Tempter on that very Account; but the Case seems quite alter’d now, the Tables are turned; then the Devil tempted Men to sin, But now, in short, they tempt the Devil; Men push into Crimes before he pushes them; they out shoot him in his own Bow, out run him on his own Ground, and, as we say of some hot Spurs who ride Post, they whip the Post-Boy; in a Word, the Devil seems to have no Business now but to sit still and look on.

This, I must confess, seems to intimate some secret Compact between the Devil and them; but then it looks, not as is they had contracted with the Devil for leave to sin, but that the Devil had contracted with them, that they should sin so and so, up to such a Degree, and that without giving him the Trouble of daily Solicitation, private Management, and artful screwing up their Passions, their Affections and their most retir’d Faculties, as he was before oblig’d to do.

This also appears more agreeable to the Nature of the Thing; and as it is a most exquisite part of Satan’s Cunning, so ’tis an undoubted Testimony of his Success; if it was not so, he could never bring his Kingdom to such a height of absolute Power as he has done; this also solves several Difficulties in the Affair of the World’s present Way of sinning, which otherwise it would be very hard to understand; as particularly how some eminent Men of Quality among us, whose upper Rooms are not extraordinary well furnished in other Cases, yet are so very witty in their Wickedness, that they gather Admirers by hundreds and thousands; who, however heavy, lumpish, slow and backward, even by Nature, and in force of Constitution in better things, yet in their Race Devil-wards they are of a sudden grown nimble, light of Foot, and outrun all their Neighbours; Fellows that are as empty of Sense as Beggars are of Honesty, and as far from Brains as a Whore is of Modesty; on a sudden you shall find them dip into Polemicks, study Michael Servetus, Socinus, and the most learned of their Disciples; they shall reason against all Religion, as strongly as a Philosopher; blaspheme with such a Keenness of Wit, and satyrise God and Eternity, with such a Brightness of Fancy, as if the soul of a Rochester or a Hobbs was transmigrated into them; in a little length of Time more they banter Heaven, burlesque the Trinity, and jest with every sacred thing, and all so sharp, so ready, and so terribly witty, as if they were born Buffoons, and were singl’d out by Nature to be Champions for the Devil.

Whence can all this come? how is the Change wrought? who but the Devil can inject Wit in Spight of natural Dullness, create Brains, fill empty Heads, and supply the Vacuities in the Understanding? and will Satan do all this for nothing? No, no, he is too wise for that; I can never doubt a secret Compact, if there is such a thing in Nature; when I see a Head where there was no Head, Sense in Posse where there is no Sense in Esse, Wit without Brains, and Sight without Eyes, ’tis all Devil-Work: Could G — write Satyrs, that could neither read Latin or spell English, like old Sir William Read, who wrote a Book of Opticks, which when it was printed, he did not know which was the right Side uppermost, and which the wrong? Could this eminent uninform’d Beau turn Atheist, and make wise Speeches against that Being, which made him a Fool, if the Devil had not sold him some Wit in exchange for that Trifle of his, call’d Soul? Had he not barter’d his Inside with that Son of the Morning, to have his Tongue tip’d with Blasphemy, he that knew nothing of a God, but only to swear by him, could never have set up for a Wit, to burlesque his Providence and ridicule his Government of the World.

But the Devil, as he is God of the World, has one particular Advantage, and that is, that when he has Work to do he very seldom wants Instruments; with this Circumstance also, that the Degeneracy of human Nature supplies him; as the late King of France said of himself, when they told him what a Calamity was like to befal his Kingdom by the Famine: Well, says the King, then I shall not want Soldiers; and it was so, want of Bread supplied his Army with Recruits; so want of Grace supplied the Devil with Reprobates for his Work.

Another Reason why, I think, the Devil has made more Bargains of that Kind we speak of, in this Age, is, because he seems to have laid by his Cloven-Foot; all his old Emissaries, the Tools of his Trade, the Engineers which he employ’d in his Mines, such as Witches, Warlocks, Magicians, Conjurers, Astrologers, and all the hellish Train or Rabble of human Devils, who did his Drudgery in former Days, seem to be out of Work: I shall give you a fuller Enumeration of them in the next Chapter.

These, I say, seem to be laid aside; not that his Work is abated, or that his Business with Mankind, for their Delusion and Destruction is not the same, or perhaps more than ever; but the Devil seems to have chang’d Hands; the Temper and Genius of Mankind is alter’d, and they are not to be taken by Fright and Horror, as they were then: The Figures of those Creatures was always dismal and horrible, and that is it which I mean by the Cloven-Foot; but now Wit, Beauty and gay Things, are the Sum of his Craft, he manages by the Soft and the Smooth, the Fair and the Artful, the Kind and the Cunning, not by the Frightful and Terrible, the Ugly and the Odious.

When the Devil for weighty Dispatches,
Wanted Messengers cunning and bold,
He pass’d by the beautiful Faces,
And pick’d out the Ugly and Old.

Of these he made Warlocks and Witches,
To run of his Errands by Night,
Till the over wrought Hag-ridden Wretches,
Were as fit as the Devil, to fright.

But whoever has been his Adviser,
As his Kingdom encreases in Growth;
He now takes his Measures much wiser,
And Trafficks with Beauty and Youth.

Disguis’d in the Wanton and Witty,
He haunts both the Church and the Court,
And sometimes he visits the City,
Where all the best Christians resort.

Thus dress’d up in full Masquerade,
He the bolder can range up and down,
For he better can drive on his Trade,
In any one’s Name than his own.

Chap. IX

Of the Tools the Devil works with, (viz.) Witches, Wizards or Warlocks, Conjurers, Magicians, Divines, Astrologers, Interpreters of Dreams, Tellers of Fortunes; and above all the rest, his particular modern Privy-Counsellors call’d Wits and Fools

Tho’, as I have advanc’d in the foregoing Chapter, the Devil has very much chang’d Hands in his modern Management of the World, and that instead of the Rabble and long Train of Implements reckoned up above, he now walks about in Beaus, Beauties, Wits and Fools; yet I must not omit to tell you that he has not dismiss’d his former Regiments, but like Officers in Time of Peace, he keeps them all in half Pay, or like Extraordinary Men at the Custom-House, they are kept at a Call, to be ready to fill up Vacancies, or to employ when he is more than ordinarily full of Business; and therefore it may not be amiss to give some brief Account of them, from Satan’s own Memoirs, their Performance being no inconsiderable Part of his History.

Nor will it be an unprofitable Digression to go back a little to the primitive Institution of all these Orders, for they are very antient, and I assure you, it requires great Knowledge of Antiquity, to give a Particular of their Original; I shall be very brief in it.

In order then to this Enquiry, you must know that it was not for want of Servants, that Satan took this Sort of People into his Pay; he had, as I have observ’d in its Place, Millions of diligent Devils at his Call, whatever Business, and however difficult, he had for them to do; but as I have said above, that our modern People are forwarder than even the Devil himself can desire them to be; and that they come before they are call’d, run before they are sent, and crowd themselves into his Service; so it seems it was in those early Days, when the World was one universal Monarchy under his Dominion, as I have at large describ’d in its Place.

In those Days the Wickedness of the World keeping a just Pace with their Ignorance, this inferior Sort of low priz’d Instruments did the Devil’s work mighty well; they drudg’d on in his Black-Art so laboriously, and with such good Success, that he found it was better to employ them as Tools to delude and draw in Mankind, than to send his invisible Implements about, and oblige them to take such Shapes and Dresses as were necessary upon every trifling Occasion; which, perhaps, was more Cost than Worship, more Pains than Pay.

Having then a Set of these Voluntiers in his Service, the true Devil had nothing to do but to keep an exact Correspondence with them, and communicate some needful Powers to them, to make them be and do something extraordinary, and give them a Reputation in their Business; and these, in a Word, did a great Part of, nay almost all the Devil’s Business in the World.

To this Purpose gave he them Power, if we may believe old Glanville, Baxter, Hicks, and other learn’d Consultors of Oracles, to walk invisible, to fly in the Air, ride upon Broom-sticks, and other Wooden Gear, to interpret Dreams, answer Questions, betray Secrets, to talk (Gibberish) the universal Language, to raise Storms, sell Winds, bring up Spirits, disturb the Dead, and torment the Living, with a thousand other needful Tricks to amuse the World, keep themselves in Veneration, and carry on the Devil’s Empire in the World.

The first Nations among whom these infernal Practices were found, were the Chaldeans; and that I may do Justice in earnest, as well as in jest, it must be allow’d that the Chaldeans, or those of them so call’d, were not Conjurers or Magicians, only Philosophers and Studiers of Nature, wise, sober and studious Men at first, and we have an extraordinary Account of them; and if we may believe some of our best Writers of Fame, Abraham was himself famous among them for such Magick, as Sir Walter Raleigh expresses it, Qui Contemplatione Creaturarum Cognovit Creatorem.

Now granting this, it is all to my Purpose, namely, that the Devil drew these wise Men in, to search after more Knowledge than Nature could instruct them in; and the Knowledge of the true God being at that Time sunk very low, he debauch’d them all with Dreams, Apparitions, Conjurers, &c. till he ruin’d the just Notions they had, and made Devils of them all, like himself.

The learned Senensis, speaking of this Chaldean Kind of Learning, gives us an Account of five Sorts of them; you will pardon me for being so grave as to go this Length back.

1. Chascedin or Chaldeans, properly so call’d, being Astronomers.

2. Asaphim or Magicians, such was Zoroastres and Balaam the Son of Beor.

3. Chatumim or Interpreters of Dreams and hard Speeches, Inchanters, &c.

4. Mecasphim or Witches, call’d at first Prophets, afterwards Malefici or Venefici, Poisoners.

5. Gazarim or Auruspices, and Diviners, such as divin’d by the Entrails of Beasts, the Liver in particular; mention’d in Ezek. or as others, call’d Augurs.

Now, as to all these, I suppose, I may do them no wrong, if I say, however justifiable they were in the Beginning, the Devil got them all into his Service at last, and that brings me to my Text again, from which the rest was a Digression.

1. The Chascedin or Chaldean Astronomers turned Astrologers, Fortune-Tellers, Calculators of Nativities, and vile Deluders of the People, as if the Wisdom of the holy God was in them, as Nebuchadnezzar said of Daniel on that very Account.

2. The Asaphim or Magi, or Magicians; Sixtus Senensis says, they were such as wrought by Covenants with Devils, but turn’d to it from their Wisdom, which was to study the practical Part of Natural Philosophy, working admirable Effects by the mutual Application of Natural Causes.

3. The Chartumim from being Reasoners or Disputers upon difficult Points in Philosophy, became Enchanters and Conjurers. So,

4. The Mecasphim or Prophets, they turn’d to be Sorcerers, Raisers of Spirits, such as wounded by an evil Eye, and by bitter Curses, and were afterwards fam’d for having familiar Converse with the Devil, and were called Witches.

5. The Gazarim, from the bare observing of the good and bad Omens, by the Entrails of Beasts, flying of Birds, &c. were turn’d to Sacrists or Priests of the Heathen Idols and Sacrificers.

Thus, I say, first or last the Devil engross’d all the Wise-Men of the East, for so they are call’d; made them all his own, and by them he work’d Wonders, that is, he fill’d the World with lying Wonders, as if wrought by these Men, when indeed it was all his own, from Beginning to the End, and set on Foot meerly to propagate Delusion, impose upon blinded and ignorant Men; the God of this World blinded their Minds, and they were led away by the Subtilty of the Devil, to say no worse of it, till they became Devils themselves, as to Mankind; for they carried on the Devil’s Work upon all Occasions, and the Race of them still continue in other Nations, and some of them among our selves, as we shall see presently.

The Arabians follow’d the Chaldeans in this Study, while it was kept within its due Bounds, and after them the Egyptians; and among the Latter we find that Jannes and Jambres were famous for their leading Pharaoh by their pretended magic Performances, to reject the real Miracles of Moses; and History tells us of strange Pranks the Wise-Men, the Magicians and the Southsayers plaid to delude the People in the most early Ages of the World.

But, as I say, now, the Devil has improv’d himself, so he did then; for the Grecian and Roman Heathen Rites coming on, they outdid all the Magicians and Southsayers, by establishing the Devil’s lying Oracles, which, as a Master-Piece of Hell, did the Devil more Honour, and brought more Homage to him, than ever he had before, or could arrive to since.

Again, as by the setting up the Oracles, all the Magicians and Southsayers grew out of Credit; so at the ceasing of those Oracles, the Devil was fain to go back to the old Game again, and take up with the Agency of Witches, Divinations, Inchantments and Conjurings, as I hinted before, answerable to the four Sorts mention’d in the Story of Nebuchadnezzar, (viz.) Magicians, Astrologers, the Chaldeans and the Southsayers: How these began to be out of Request, I have mention’d already; but as the Devil has not quite given them over, only laid them aside a little for the present, we may venture to ask what they were, and what Use he made of them when he did employ them.

The Truth is, I think, as it was a very mean Employment for any thing that wears a human Countenance to take up, so I must acknowledge, I think, ’twas a mean low priz’d Business for Satan to take up with; below the very Devil; below his Dignity as an Angelic, tho’ condemn’d Creature; below him even as a Devil; to go to talk to a parcel of ugly, deform’d, spiteful, malicious old Women; to give them Power to do Mischief, who never had a Will, after they enter’d into the State of old Woman-Hood, to do any thing else: Why the Devil always chose the ugliest old Women he could find; whether Wizardism made them ugly, that were not so before, and whether the Ugliness, as it was a Beauty in Witchcraft, did not encrease according to the meritorious Performance in the Black-Trade? These are all Questions of Moment to be decided, (if human Learning can arrive to so much Perfection) in Ages to come.

Some say the evil Eye and the wicked Look were Parts of the Enchantment, and that the Witches, when they were in the height of their Business, had a powerful Influence with both; that by looking upon any Person they could bewitch them, and make the Devil, as the Scots express it, ride through them booted and spurr’d; and that hence came that very significant Saying, to look like a Witch.

The strange Work which the Devil has made in the World, by this Sort of his Agents call’d Witches, is such, and so extravagantly wild, that except our Hope that most of those Tales happen not to be true, I know not how any one could be easy to live near a Widow after she was five and fifty.