The Second Life of Nathan Jones: A laugh out loud, OMG! romcom that you won’t be able to put down!

‘Again?’

‘Yeah, I wasn’t in over the weekend, but it seems after your wife identified you on Saturday night, they moved you around a fair bit because they were servicing the fridge mechanisms, so you haven’t been in the drawers much. Thing is, you’d think all that moving about would have woken you up.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Neither do I, nor the doctors. You’ve got a lot of people confused and all worked up. They don’t know why you’re alive and that bothers them.’

‘They’d rather I’d stayed dead?’

‘Probably; and if you’d stayed in there much longer you’d likely have frozen to death anyway. They’re saying you’ve been subject to the Lazarus Syndrome.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Well, it’s also known as autoresuscitation after failed cardiopulmonary resuscitation, which is the spontaneous return of circulation after failed attempts at revival.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘You’re very lucky.’

‘You said that already. What’s your name?’

‘Kat.’

‘What, as in pussy? Sorry, that sounds rude.’

‘It’s fine. No, K-A-T.’

‘Oh, okay. As in short for Katie or something.’

‘Yeah, something like that. Look, I really came to see if there’s anything you need?’

‘A new body, maybe.’

I laughed. ‘I can’t help you there. I think your wife stopped by earlier.’

‘Did you speak to her?’

‘No, I was downstairs at that point helping saw the top off someone’s skull.’

‘I probably didn’t need to know that.’

‘Sorry, the staff nurse said she couldn’t hang around because of your kids but they’ve called to let her know that you’re awake. She said she’ll come tomorrow.’ I scratched my nose where a black piercing emerged from my left nostril. I noticed Nathan watching me intently. I must admit being overcome with a feeling of disappointment when I’d discovered he had a wife. My taste in men wasn’t getting any better the older I got. ‘It must have been a shock for her.’

‘What? That I’d died?’

‘Well, yes, that you’d died. And then that you were suddenly alive again.’ I noticed his face darken and a frown appeared, making him look older. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Apart from being broken?’

I smiled. ‘Yeah, you look upset about something.’

‘No, just in a bit of pain, I think.’

I didn’t believe him but whatever was bothering him wasn’t really any of my business.

‘Well, as your wife isn’t able to come and see you, who else can I call?’

‘Ghostbusters,’ he said, smiling.

‘Seriously – there’s no one? Your mother?’

‘She’s been dead for seventeen years.’

‘Father?’

‘Dead for twenty.’

‘Brothers, sisters?’

‘I’m an only child.’

‘Lonely child, more like. What about friends?’

Nathan sighed. ‘You could have called my mate Graham, I suppose, but he’s on holiday in Thailand.’

‘Have you told your work you’re likely to be off for a while?’

‘I mainly work for myself, freelance, so no need.’

‘Freelance what?’

‘Just freelance. You’re very nosy.’

‘Are you lonely?’

‘With a wife and three kids? You must be joking.’

‘Outside your family circle there doesn’t seem to be very much for you though.’

‘I’m a very busy person.’

‘That’s what lonely people say.’

‘Is it?’

‘Yes.’

We were both silent for a moment and I noticed his eyes closing.