Crazy For You

“How heartbroken can he possibly be? I didn’t think Christian Devine even had a heart. I can’t believe Eddie failed to tell me all of this.” Daisy shook her head in a haze of excitement and disbelief. “I mean, this is high-quality need-to-know information, and I, of all people, have a real need to know. He is the biggest eye totty ever to come out of this backwater! He is like the Killshannon version of Colin Farrell. Phwoarr!”

She reached for the kettle and poured a second cup of cappuccino.

“I’m sure the tracking of TLC’s love life is at the very bottom of Eddie’s ‘to-do’ list at the moment,” said Maggie. “Anyhow,” she continued, “that’s as far as my research has gone. The rest, I’m afraid, will be up to you.”

Daisy was very impressed with her mum’s work to date. Most mothers would have locked up their daughters at the sight of someone like Christian Devine. His reputation had left bleeding hearts all over Killshannon when he was a teenager, but he had been born with charm and a reputation as his own father had been a serial womaniser too. Maggie knew all about that from her own single days growing up around the village. Besides, the looks and charm of a movie star could get you further than most in a small town, and Christian, like his father, had certainly made the best of his finest assets over the years.

“Ah well,” sighed Daisy. “He’s probably caught some terrible, nasty STD on his travels.” There was no hope competing with an absent girlfriend, so she figured she’d try and dwell on the negatives.

Maggie looked at her in horror. “Daisy! Christian is a schoolteacher now. Don’t be so quick to judge people. Didn’t I always preach that to you?”

“So, what? He’s a teacher. Big deal. A leopard never changes his spots and if he’s heartbroken, I’m the Virgin Mary.”

Maggie straightened her Like a Virgin t-shirt and Daisy started to laugh.

“I’ll really have to update your retro wardrobe some of these days, Mum. That yellow is wild and mothers aren’t supposed to dress in t-shirts from the eighties.”

“If that’s what you think,” said Maggie with a nod. “Mothers shouldn’t really dress like their daughters, but some do. English teachers aren’t supposed to be sexy. But some are.” She cleared the table and made her way over to the tiny pantry. “Now, what would you like for tea?”

Daisy’s stomach grumbled. Why had she left it so long to come home? This was better than Spain, she thought. Well, almost. So far, Killshannon was showing fantastic potential for a week of fun. All she needed now was for the sun to come out, for Eddie to come out, and she would happily reignite her friendship with her miserable suitcase and suntan lotions once and for all.

Chapter 6 (#uad231978-1f56-5576-be0b-50d3ae731031)

Anything That Can Go Ring, Will Go Wrong

Jonathan wiped his face with a towel and stared closely at his reflection in the mirror. To shave or not to shave, he thought, rubbing an even patch of fair stubble across the bottom of his chin. Shannon would be here soon with a “to do list” that was the length of her pretty legs, but Jonathan just couldn’t get his head around guest names or menus or anything remotely wedding- orientated at the moment.

He had sincerely been looking forward to the whole occasion, which they had originally planned for the following year. But then Jonathan’s entire world had turned on its axis a few days ago and Shannon had insisted that the big event be catapulted into the very near future.

His mother had cried the entire way home from the hospital on Friday. Having learned that her cancer had spread was a huge shock and poor Isobel had been diagnosed with a worst-case scenario – liver cancer and no option of surgery or treatment; just a very short space of time to suffer dreadfully in full view of her friends and family.

Thank God Eddie was home, he thought, even if he was pulling some sort of silly stunt by bringing Daisy into the equation with their stupid tale of a made-up love affair. Even the dogs on the street knew Eddie was gay. Why did he feel he had to pretend? And why Daisy of all people? He was playing with fire by bringing her so closely back into their lives. Jonathan fished a disposable razor from his holdall and squirted some shaving foam onto his chin. Just because the walls were caving in around him didn’t mean he had to turn into a scruff, and Shannon was bringing her mother along today so there would be hell to pay if he didn’t look the part.

He pulled on a pair of navy tracksuit bottoms and a cool white polo shirt that complemented the tan he’d picked up on a quick weekend in the South of France with Shannon and her parents. Despite the heavy rain, the air in Killshannon was muggy and if the weatherman were telling the truth, they were in for a heat wave over the next few days.

On his way through the hallway, Jonathan could hear laughter spilling from the kitchen. He could hear the words “girlfriend” and “Daisy” in the same sentence and he shook his head. When was his baby brother going to grow up? And what did Daisy think she was playing at? This was nonsense and if Eddie kept this up he’d have to have a firm word in his ear. He and Daisy were history…a very hurtful history at that, so this was unfair on everyone and he would soon be telling them so.

The front doorbell rang and caught him unawares so he tidied himself quickly and sprayed on a dot of aftershave in a last-minute dash to look respectable. Shannon was early as usual and he wasn’t half-prepared for her arrival. He ruffled his hands through his hair, pulled on a pair of trainers and went to answer the door.

“Hi. Er, I had no idea you would still be here, I swear. Sorry.”

Jonathan squinted in the evening light and took a step backwards. It wasn’t Shannon. It was Daisy and, like himself, she looked a lot fresher than she had done earlier. Her fair hair was tied back into a loose ponytail and she was dressed in a white t-shirt and comfy track bottoms. She looked gorgeous. He stared at her and couldn’t even manage an answer.

“Snap,” she said with a strained smile, taking in his attire from top to bottom and he was glad of the twilight to hide his shock at seeing her again so soon. He glanced down. Their outfits were almost identical, and he managed an equally forced smile, before composing himself again.

“If it isn’t the Sunflake Girl,” he replied. “Your boyfriend’s in the kitchen. Come on through.”

Daisy didn’t know if she was more stunned that Jonathan was still in Isobel’s house or that he’d remembered that she had appeared in a long-running cereal bar commercial years ago. He turned and led the way through to the kitchen, where Eddie was cracking open a bottle of wine at the table.

“Daisy, my darling. It’s so great to see you,” chirped Isobel, in the liveliest voice she could muster. “Eddie has been filling me in. This is so wonderful. It’s been months since you’ve been in Killshannon and years since we’ve all been together.”

Daisy glanced at Eddie, who had already developed black lips from the red wine and was giving her the thumbs up behind his mother’s back when she stood up to welcome her visitor.

“Oh, Isobel. It’s so good to see you too.” Daisy wrapped her arms around her frail shoulders, afraid she might break them. The tears welled up in her eyes. “How do you feel?”

Isobel sat weakly back onto her chair and nestled her stemmed glass of sparkling water between her tiny fingers.

“Oh, you know,” she said with a look that shouted “shit happens.” “But I’m just having a wee drink with my baby boy to celebrate his homecoming. I can’t tell you how happy this has made me, Daisy. I always knew you’d end up with one of my boys.”

Isobel winked at Daisy when the boys weren’t looking and Daisy realised straight away that, just as her own mum had predicted, Isobel was happy to play along for now. Jonathan met Daisy’s eye and then quickly turned away.

“Any word from Shanny yet, Mum? She’s normally really punctual,” he asked sternly.

Daisy rolled her eyes. Shanny. How sad. It rhymed with a certain part of the female anatomy and didn’t sound very endearing at all.

“Who?” asked Isobel. “Oh, Shannon? Of course. You know, with all this news from Eddie, I almost forgot that Shannon and Mrs Cassidy were coming over this evening. Isn’t this great? We’ll all be together for the first time.”

“Mum, you know Mrs Cassidy prefers to be called by her first name,” said Jonathan and then realised he had opened a can of worms. This could only add to his misery and discomfort.

“I know, love, but I just can’t bring myself to say it,” giggled Isobel. “I mean, who in their right mind would want to be known as Fanny nowadays?”

Daisy looked at Eddie whose eyes widened with delight. He could have fun with this one. He and Daisy specialised in toilet humour and this was right up their street.

“I’m sure she will be thrilled to see us all,” said Daisy with a newly found confidence. “And I can’t wait to meet Fanny face to face myself. There’s a first time for everything.”

Eddie thought he was going to explode, but the look on his brother’s face warned him not to.

“So am I. I’ve never seen Fanny face to face either,” he roared.

“Oh, here we go. How very mature,” muttered Jonathan, “and how very, very true.” He reached for a wine glass from the top cupboard of the kitchen and poured some wine, then remembering his manners, he turned to Daisy.

“Red or white, Daisy? Or maybe you’d prefer some champagne? We have some on reserve for the run-up to the wedding, but maybe the marvellous news of yours and Eddie’s, er, relationship deserves an extra celebration?”

“Ha ha,” mimed Daisy towards him with an outward smile, hoping that Isobel didn’t see her. “Champagne would be wonderful, please Jonathan,” she said cheerily. “That’s only if you’re sure there’s enough left for Shanny and Fanny. We wouldn’t want to leave them dry.”

Eddie couldn’t hold it in any longer. He’d tried his best but he just had to give way to an almighty explosion of laughter from the corner of the room.

Jonathan ignored his brother’s reaction and handed Daisy a glass of champagne with a forced grin. His mobile phone sang a funky ring tone from the worktop and he grabbed it quickly, praying it wasn’t Shannon phoning to cancel their plans. As much as he hated the thought of wedding chat, he really needed Shannon and her mother here right now to relieve the tension between him and Daisy. Having her back in his family home reminded her too much of the past. Right now, he felt suffocated and outnumbered.

The caller display showed it was Christian, and Jonathan breathed a sigh of relief as he made his way out of the kitchen to take the call.

“Hey Christian, what’s the craic?”

“The craic’s good, Jonathan, the craic’s good,” said Christian’s familiar husky voice from the other end. He always sounded as though he had gravel in his throat and could easily have made a fortune on radio or audio versions of bonk-buster novels. “I couldn’t be better. Top of the world.”

“So the heartache is finally over. Congratulations. You’ve suffered for approximately, er, six hours and fifty-seven minutes. I pity you. Truly, I do,” laughed Jonathan, shaking his head.

“No, no. You’re getting me all wrong, Jonathan. I’ve just heard from Anna. She’s arrived safe and sound in Copenhagen and is missing me terribly. Not that I should be surprised, of course. She’s wondering if she has done the right thing, parting company at such a blooming stage of our relationship. I’m on a high after hearing from her, that’s all.”