Crazy For You

Jonathan considered himself well and truly corrected. He had pictured his friend in a town-centre bar, eyeing up each and every skirt that walked past and frothing at the mouth with thirst. It might have been only six hours, but Jonathan was proud of Christian’s commitment to Anna so far.

“So, what’s up then? What can I do for you?” asked Jonathan. Surely Christian hadn’t rung him to tell him he’d got a phone call from his girlfriend. If that was the case, the pair of them would be on the phone constantly.

“You’ll never guess what I’ve just heard. This is going to crack you up, big time,” said Christian.

“Go for it.”

“Remember Gerry whatshisface – the smart-ass barman from The Chocolate Bar earlier today?”

“Yeah, Gerry O’Donnell. What about him?”

“Well, I just met him in the video store and he had the latest episode of your brother’s love life all wrapped up in a nutshell. You’re right about old Gerry – he has all the best contacts for gossip but this is pure mental.”

“Christian, please just get on with it.”

His friend paused. This was going to sting.

“He reckons your Eddie is shagging Daisy Anderson. Your Daisy Anderson.”

Jonathan didn’t warm to Christian’s way with words and couldn’t hide it.

“He’s not shagging her, as such. Honestly, Christian, you and your filthy mind. And she’s not my Daisy. Not anymore.” Eddie shagging Daisy? Gross, he thought, as pictures flashed through his mind. No, that would be a giant step too far.

“What? So it’s true he’s at least seeing her, then? Excuse me while I just pick myself up off the floor. And here was me expecting he had hooked up with some weird American transsexual.”

Jonathan felt irritated by Christian’s gloating where his brother and childhood girlfriend were concerned.

“Christian, it’s really no big deal. Daisy and Eddie have been good friends forever. We all were until…” He halted before saying something he might regret. “Anyhow, I think you’re getting a wee bit over-excited about something that probably won’t last a second. Eddie’s just upset over Mum and needs some reassurance from someone he knows. He trusts Daisy. That doesn’t mean for a second that he’s shagging her, so for God’s sake don’t ever say that again. It’s a scheme he has dreamed up, thinking he is pulling the wool over Mum’s eyes, but we all know the score. I’m going to have a good chat with him when I can. Daisy is just playing along to give him the reassurance he needs.”

Christian gave out a dirty cackle. “I wouldn’t mind getting a bit of reassurance from Crazy Daisy myself if it’s up for the taking.”

“Don’t say that. She’s not crazy.”

“She was at one time, in a nice way. Is she still? Come on, just because you’re getting married soon doesn’t mean you’ve lost the power of your eyes. Or your heart.”

“You are one messed up mother…”

“Don’t worry, I’ve no intention of hitting on her behind your back. I’ve eyes for only one woman myself but I’m still curious. Is she still hot?”

At that, Daisy came into the hallway, brushing past Jonathan on her way to the bathroom. The hallway in the houses of Ivy Cottages were extremely narrow and Jonathan’s manly frame took up most of the space as he leaned with one arm against the wall. Daisy looked at the floor the entire time, breathing in so that their bodies wouldn’t accidentally touch.

Jonathan waited until she turned left through the pine door and locked it from the inside before answering. He rubbed his forehead and took a breath.

“Not really hot. Sort of lukewarm, I’d say.”

In truth, he felt like he was in a sauna. He was burning up from how hot Daisy looked right now.

“Lying bastard. Don’t lie to me. How does she look?”

Jonathan was getting really peeved. Just because Christian was bored without Anna didn’t mean he had to stand here all evening and listen to him talking shit.

“Christian, will you drop it for God’s sake?” he whispered through gritted teeth. “She just walked past and you were drooling down the phone like a bloody pervert. You might still think she’s hot but I don’t. Now give it a rest, will you? ”

“Wait a minute. Daisy is there?” asked Christian. “In your mum’s house? And Shannon is on her way over with her posh mummy-poos Fanny? I swear to God I would pay money to be a fly on the wall.”

The lock of the bathroom door opened and Daisy walked back into the hallway. How women managed to pee so quickly when you didn’t want them to was one of life’s greatest mysteries, thought Jonathan. He glanced towards her and then darted his gaze away when their eyes met for a second.

“So, honey, I’ll see you very soon,” he said loudly to Christian so that Daisy could hear his every word.

Christian let out a stammer. “Is this Jonathan or Eddie? I’m not gay, Ed. It’s time you faced the truth.”

“I love you too, Shanny. Yeah, I know, I know. I’ll see you real soon.”

Jonathan continued to mumble sweet nothings to a bewildered Christian when the doorbell rang.

“You hang up.”

“No you hang up,” said Christian in a girly voice. He had finally caught on to the fact that this was all for Daisy’s benefit.

“I’ll get it,” said Daisy, turning and making her way back towards the front door. “I’d hate to disturb such a romantic conversation.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll see you in a few minutes, pet. I can’t wait either. Drive carefully,” said Jonathan.

Daisy opened the door while Jonathan continued to mumble into the phone behind her and she was greeted by a colt-like girl with platinum hair in a neat bob and wearing a pale-blue trench coat. Her mother stood alongside her, lean and fair, equally as glamorous and grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“You must be Shannon and Fa…, I mean, Mrs Cassidy. How are you?” Daisy couldn’t speak more enthusiastically if she tried, and managed to do so at ear-bursting volume. She extended her arm to shake hands with the pair on their way in through the shiny red door and shot Jonathan a smug glance with raised eyebrows. “I’m an old friend of the family – Daisy Anderson. I’m afraid Jonathan is just taking a very important phone call.”

Daisy opened the door wide to let the visitors in and looked over at Jonathan, who had his mouth open and the phone still to his ear, knowing his act of cable romance had been well and truly discovered a farce.

“Lovely to meet you, Daisy,” said Shannon. She appeared no more than sixteen but had a streetwise look in her eye and her coat had obviously cost an arm and a leg.

Daisy longed to touch it.

“It’s John Rocha,” said Shannon, noticing how Daisy was eyeing her coat up. “Ahem. I can’t say Jonathan has ever mentioned you, but you know what men are like. I’m sure he would have told me about you sooner or later if you were important to him.”

Daisy smirked and nodded towards Jonathan, who was making his way towards them. “Yes, I sure do know what men are like,” she said. “Especially the Eastwood men, now that you come to mention it. I know them very, very well indeed.”

Jonathan marched towards them before Daisy could say any more and took his visitors’ coats.

“Daisy is Eddie’s new girlfriend. My very happy brother, Eddie,” he said smugly. That would put her right back in her place. “Come on through, ladies. Mum has opened a few bottles of wine to lighten the mood.”

Jonathan was humiliated. Why had he felt the need to pretend he was talking to Shannon on the phone anyway? He knew she would be arriving on the doorstep any minute and he would have his chance then to show Daisy how happy and in love he was. If Christian hadn’t been putting him under so much pressure he’d have been able to think straight. Now he had to pull himself together.

“Ah, Shannon, love. Mrs Cassidy. It’s wonderful to see you both,” said Isobel when they entered the kitchen. “This is my son, Eddie. I don’t think you’ve all met before.”

“Shannon and I met just yesterday,” said Eddie. “We had a very worthwhile chat, but I’ve never met Mrs Cassidy before. It’s a pleasure.”

Eddie really wanted to use her first name but saying he had never met Fanny before would be just too close to the truth. He felt the laughter rise again. Think of a compliment, quickly.