Поворот винта. Уровень 1 / The Turn of the Screw

“He never told me! But please, miss,” said Mrs. Grose, “I must get to my work.”

III

Her turning her back on me wasn’t something that could hurt our relationship. We became closer after I brought little Miles home. I was amazed and emotional when I first saw him. I thought it was strange that such a child could be dismissed from school. When I arrived at the inn[15 - inn – гостиница] to pick him up, he waited for me and I saw his beauty and purity. He was incredibly beautiful and Mrs. Grose agreed. His presence made me forget everything except my deep love for him. He seemed so innocent and sweet that it was impossible to believe anything bad about him. I felt confused when I returned to Bly with him, knowing I had a horrible letter locked in my room. As soon as I had a chance, I told Mrs. Grose that the letter was stupid.

She quickly understood me. “You mean the cruel charge[16 - charge – обвинение]—?”

“I can’t believe it. Look at him!”

“Believe me, miss, I do nothing else! What will you say then?” she asked immediately.

“In response to the letter?” I had made my decision. “Nothing.”

“And to his uncle?”

I was firm[17 - firm – решительный, твердый]. “Nothing.”

“And to the boy himself?”

“Nothing.”

She wiped her mouth with her apron. “Then I’ll support you. We’ll stick together until the end.”

“We’ll stick together!” I said, shaking her hand to make it a promise.

In the first weeks, the days were long. They often gave me my own hour, the time when I was alone before going to bed. I enjoyed this hour the most out of everything in the day. I especially liked it when the sky was getting dark and I could walk in the grounds and enjoy the beauty of the place. It made me feel calm. I felt happy knowing that I was doing what the person who asked me wanted. It brought me even more joy than I expected. I thought I was a special person, and I hoped that others would see it too. Well, I needed to be special because something unusual was about to happen.

One afternoon, during my usual walk, I had a surprising encounter[18 - encounter – столкновение]. I used to imagine meeting someone while walking around, and now it felt like a wonderful story coming true. On the first occasion, at the end of a long day in June, I stopped when I saw the house. What shocked me was the feeling that my imagination had become real. He was standing there! But he was high up in the tower that little Flora had shown me on our first morning. This tower, along with another one that looked similar. They were old and unique. However, the person I had imagined didn’t seem most fitting in this place.

I saw a figure in the twilight and it surprised me. I caught my breath twice. I realized that he wasn’t who I thought he was. The figure that faced me was the image that had been in my mind. I had not seen it in Harley Street—I had not seen it anywhere. It made me confused and scared. Everything around us became silent. I tried to figure out who he was, but I couldn’t. I felt wonder and confusion.

The main question, or one of them, is about how long some things have lasted. Well, this thing of mine, believe what you want, lasted while I thought about who was in the house that I didn’t know about— and for how long, most importantly? It lasted while I felt a bit uncomfortable because my job needed me to have no such person. It lasted while this visitor seemed to stare at me and ask a question with his look. We were too far apart to speak, but there was a moment where it would have been right to break the silence. He stood in one of the corners, the one far from the house, looking very straight and had both hands on the ledge[19 - ledge – выступ,]. So I saw him as I see the letters on this page; then, after a minute, he slowly moved to the opposite corner, still looking hard at me. Yes, I felt strongly that during this movement, he never took his eyes off me, and I can still see how his hand moved from one part of the ledge to the next. He stopped at the other corner, but not for long, and even as he turned away, he kept looking at me. He turned away; that’s all I knew.

IV

I started to wonder if there was a secret or a mystery at Bly. I walked around the place for a while, feeling curious and scared. When I went back inside, it was dark. I saw a surprised look on my friend’s face. She told me she had missed me. I quickly understood, she knew nothing that could explain the incident I had. I didn’t want to worry her, so I didn’t say it. I made an excuse for being late and went to my room.

The shock I had experienced must have made my senses sharper; I was certain, after three days and from paying closer attention, that the house staff had not deceived[20 - to deceive – обманывать] me or played any tricks on me. Nobody around me knew anything about what I knew. There was only one logical thought: someone had allowed himself a rather rude trick. That was what I kept saying to myself as I went back into my room and locked the door. We had, all together, experienced an invasion[21 - invasion – вторжение]; some rude traveler, interested in old houses, had entered, enjoyed the view from the best spot, and then left the same way he came. The good thing, after all, was that we wouldn’t see them again.

I know that it wasn’t so good, and I could have made a better judgment[22 - judgment – суждение] on this, but the most important thing for me was just my lovely work. My work was my life with Miles and Flora, and nothing else mattered. Being with them made me happy. Working with them was like being in a beautiful story every day. I can’t say how interested and amazed I was by my companions. Instead of getting used to them, I kept discovering new things about them. There was one thing that stayed a mystery though—the boy’s behavior at school. But I didn’t worry about it because he was innocent and didn’t deserve any punishment. I knew that people might be jealous of him and try to hurt him, even the headmasters.

Both the children were like the cherubs[23 - cherub – херувим]! It seemed like Miles had no history. He was sensitive and happy, as if every day was a fresh start. We don’t expect much from a small child, but there was something sensitive and at the same time happy about this beautiful little boy. He was never hurt, not for a second. I took this as a direct disproof[24 - disproof – опровержение] of the fact that he was really punished. If he was bad, I would have noticed something. But I found nothing, so he must be an angel. He never talked about his school, friends, or teachers, and I didn’t want to ask about them. I was under their spell, even though I knew it. But being with them was a distraction from any pain, even though I had other problems. I got sad letters from home, but my children were the most important thing in the world. That’s what I thought during my alone time. I was amazed by their beauty.

There was a Sunday when it rained a lot, so we couldn’t go to church. If the weather got better in the evening, I planned to go with Mrs. Grose to the church later. Luckily, the rain stopped and I got ready for our walk. It would take about twenty minutes to get to the village through the park and the good road. Before meeting Mrs. Grose in the hall, I remembered that I had left a pair of gloves upstairs. They needed to be fixed with three stitches, which I had done. I went upstairs to get the gloves. As soon as I entered the room, I saw the gloves on a chair near the window. I also noticed a person on the other side of the window looking inside. It was the same person I had seen before. This time, I could see him better, and it felt like he was closer to me. Something, however, happened this time that had not happened before; he was looking at my face with the same deep and hard look as before, but this look left me for a second, and I could see him moving from one thing to another. It made me feel surprised and cold. I suddenly realized that he wasn’t there for me. He had come for someone else.

I ran along the terrace and turned a corner, but there was nothing to see. My visitor was gone. I looked around, but there was no one. The terrace, the lawn, the garden, and the park were empty. I felt sure that he wasn’t hiding in the bushes or trees. He was either there or not there. If I couldn’t see him, he wasn’t there. I realized this and instead of going back the way I came, I went to the window. I knew I should stand where he had stood. I did so and looked into the room. Just as I had done, Mrs. Grose came in from the hall. She saw me and stopped. I scared her just like he had scared me. She turned pale, and I wondered if I turned pale too. She looked and went back the way I had come. I knew I would see her soon. I stayed where I was and thought about many things. But there’s only one thing I have time to say. I wondered why she was scared.

V

Oh, she told me right away, when she came. “What’s wrong?” She was out of breath.

I didn’t say anything until she came closer. “With me? I must have made a strange face. Do I show it?”

“You’re as white as a sheet. You look terrible.”

I thought about it; I could tell her the truth. I held her hand tightly for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her being close to me. There was comfort in the surprise on her shy face. “You came to get me for church, of course, but I can’t go.”

“Did something happen?”

“Yes. You need to know now. Did I look very strange?”

“Through this window? Terrible!”

“Well,” I said, “I’ve been scared. What you saw from the dining room a minute ago was similar to what I saw. But what I saw was much worse.”

Her hand tightened. “What was it?”

“A strange man. Looking in.”

“What strange man?”

“I don’t know at all.”

Mrs. Grose looked around but couldn’t find him. “Then where did he go?”

“I have no idea.”

“Have you seen him before?”

“Yes, once. On the old tower.”

“Do you mean he’s a stranger?”

“Oh, very much!”

“Yet you didn’t tell me?”

“No, for reasons. But now that you’ve guessed—”

“Ah, I didn’t guess!” she said simply. “You’ve only seen him on the tower?”

“And on this spot just now.”

Mrs. Grose looked around again. “What was he doing on the tower?”

“Just standing there and looking down at me.”

She thought for a moment. “Was he a gentleman?”