Поворот винта. Уровень 1 / The Turn of the Screw

I thought about it; I understood again. “Yes, she was a lady.”

“And he was so far below,” said Mrs. Grose.

“He was a bad person.”

Mrs. Grose quietly said “I’ve never seen anyone like him. He did what he wished.”

“With her?”

“With them all.”

It was as if my friend saw Miss Jessel again with her own eyes. For a moment, I felt like I could see her too, just like I saw her at the lake. I said, “That must have been what she wanted too!”

Mrs. Grose’s expression showed that it was true, but she also said: “Poor woman—she paid for it!”

“Then you do know what she died of?” I asked.

“No—I know nothing. I didn’t want to know; I was glad enough I didn’t!”

“Yet you had, then, your idea—”

“About why she left? Oh yes, I had that. She couldn’t have stayed. Imagine being a governess here! And then I started imagining… and what I imagine is horrible.”

“It’s not as horrible as what I do,” I replied, and then I realized my defeat “I can’t do it!” I cried in despair. “I can’t save or protect them! It’s worse than I imagined—they’re lost!”

VIII

What I told Mrs. Grose was true enough: there were things in the situation that were difficult for me to understand and explore. We both agreed that it was important to stop imagining strange things. Late that night, while the house slept, we had another talk in my room. I asked her how, if I had “made it up,” I could describe each person’s looks in detail, and she named them right away[46 - right away – тотчас]. She wanted to forget about that, and I told her that I was trying to find a way to escape[47 - to escape – сбежать, спастись] from it. I said that I might get used to the danger with time, but my new suspicion was still unbearable[48 - unbearable – невыносимый]. However, as the day went on, I felt a little better about the situation.

The next morning, I had of course returned to my pupils. I spent time with Flora and realized that she could tell when something was wrong with me. Looking into her beautiful eyes, I knew that her innocence was real and not a trick. But I knew that Flora saw the visitor, but she pretended she didn’t to make me wonder if I saw it too. Flora tried to distract me with games and songs, because she didn’t want me to talk about it.

I felt desperate and needed help. My colleague told me a lot under pressure, but there was still a small uncertain part. I remember saying; “What was on your mind when you said before Miles arrived, that you didn’t think he ever was bad? He has not literally ‘ever,’ in these weeks that I myself have lived with him and so closely watched him. And that’s why you could perfectly stand up for him if you didn’t know about something else. What was it and what did you talk about, because you had to see it personally?”

It was a serious question, but we weren’t joking around, and before sunrise I had got my answer. It was simply the fact that Quint and the boy had been spending a lot of time together. In fact, she said that it was strange for them to be so close. She even talked with Miss Jessel about it. Miss Jessel told her to mind her business. And the good woman talked to little Miles then. When I asked what she had said, she told me that she wanted to see young gentlemen remember their place.

I asked again, “Did you tell him that Quint was just a servant?”

“That’s right! And the problem was his answer, first of all.”

“And what else?” I waited for her to continue. “Did he tell Quint what you said?”

“No, not that. He definitely wouldn’t!” she said. “I was sure, at least,” she added, “that he didn’t. But he denied[49 - to deny – отрицать] some situations.”

“What situations?”

“When they were together as if Quint was his teacher—a very important one—and Miss Jessel was just there for the little lady. He spent hours with him, I mean, going off together.”

“He then lied about it? He said he didn’t?” She nodded. So I said, “I understand. He lied.”

“Oh!” Mrs. Grose murmured[50 - to murmur – бормотать], “You see, Miss Jessel didn’t mind. She didn’t forbid[51 - to forbid – запрещать] him.”

I thought about it.

“Did he give you this as an excuse?”

She dropped her head again. “No, he never talked about it.”

“He never talked about her and Quint being together?”

She understood where I was going and blushed, “No, never. He denied,” she repeated, “he denied.”

“So you guessed that he knew what was happening between the two terrible people?”

“I don’t know—I don’t know!” the poor woman cried.

“You do know, my dear,” I replied; “but you’re not as brave as I am, and you hold back because you’re shy. You even hide the impression that caused you the most pain in the past when you had to get out without my help. But I’ll find out!” I continued, “There was something in the boy that made you think he was hiding their relationship.”

“Oh, he couldn’t stop—”

“You from finding out the truth? I suppose so! But it’s shocking to think what they must have done to him to make him keep it a secret!”

“Don’t think anything bad now!” Mrs. Grose sadly pleaded[52 - to plead – умолять].

“I understand why you looked surprised,” I said, “when I said about the letter from his school!”

“I don’t think I looked as surprised as you did!” she replied. “And if he was so bad back then, how is he such an angel now?”

“Yes, he was very bad at school! How, how, how? Well,” I said, “you must ask me again, but I won’t be able to tell you for a few days. Just ask me again!” I cried in a way that made my friend stare. “There are things I can’t talk about right now.” I made a pause. I wanted to think. “If Quint, as you said, was a simple servant, then I guess, Miles could tell you that you are also a servant?” Her answer was enough for me to continue: “And you forgave him for that?”

“Wouldn’t you?”