Theory of emotional relativity. Practical guide to the development of awareness and emotional intelligence

Unconsciously, we cannot notice such things, such reactions are already a part of our established personality, so we need to learn to be conscious.

Step 4. Do something pleasant for yourself

You need to offer yourself some action that will confirm that you love yourself, to give yourself some pleasure. What does pleasure mean? Pleasure is doing what you like. It can be anything: write what you like, watch or listen to what you like, absolutely any action that brings pleasure to you. When we love another person, we are very observant, it is sincerely interesting for us to notice the most delicate moments in what he likes, we strive to ensure that our loved one enjoys what we do or offer. And it is very nice. When you can treat yourself in the same way – this is love for yourself. To do it, first of all, you need to learn to look at yourself with acceptance and sincere interest, observe yourself and allow yourself to do what you like.

Shame. Release

If shame does not release, you can help the body processes it. To do it, we exaggerate all those movements that are in the natural expression of shame. If your head is leaning to the left side, then, without bending your knees, bend over, touch your left heel with your right hand, and twist yourself as much as possible. If the head pulls to turn to the right, then touch the right heel with your left hand. In other words, you need to twist as much as possible, exhale as much as possible, and then rise sharply, raise your hands up and jump.

To change any state, first of all you need to give it a place to show itself up, and then offer some other state in return. If you fail to do it the first time (and you often fail to do it the first time), then you should repeat this movement several times. It does not mean that the outlook on life and life itself will immediately change. As a result of these movements, a new resource arises in the body. There are few resources in shame: the body is all constrained and tense, there is no movement, you cannot speak, you cannot think, you have no resource. And the resource is needed so that the body can perform a further purposeful action. In this case, show love for yourself, i.e. make yourself comfortable, spend time on yourself, fill it with activities that bring you pleasure. It can be simple body pleasure and care: take a bath, go to the sauna or massage. It can be anything, depending on how you love yourself. And then you will have a new thought, a new idea about actions in life. You will be free from shame.

Shame. Ways to Cope

When we talk about emotions, there can be no single explanation. It is important to understand not only the nature of emotions, their purpose, but also to consider the strategy for dealing with them. Feeling shame, different people can behave differently. What does it depend on? There are various ways to handle emotions: