Boys Beware

“All those times you’ve come home grumbling cos of having to do another baby—”

“And now you could be out there doing graves!”

“Tombs,” I said, “actually.”

“All right, then, tombs.”

“Old tombs.”

“Ancient tombs.”

“It’s got to be better than babies!”

“And just think, you’d get to see your name in print—”

“Photographs by Catherine Love.”

“It’s what you’ve always dreamed of!”

Mum bit her lip. We were really starting to get to her!

“I wish you wouldn’t,” she said. “You’re only making it more difficult for me.”

“We want to make it difficult!”

“We want to be able to boast about you!”

“Our mum, the famous photographer …”

“Taking photographs out in Peru!”

“But you’re too young,” wailed Mum. “You’re only twelve years old!”

“Mum we’re nearly thirteen!”

“Ali’s nearly fourteen.”

The sound of her name brought Ali back to life.

“If we go,” she said, solemnly, “I’d have to take them with me.”

We all stopped and looked at her. Take what? Take who? Me? Tash?

“MyDeep Space Nines.”

The penny dropped. For once, I’d actually managed to follow her thought process. Of course! She couldn’t possibly be expected to go to Auntie Jay’s without her supply of Star Treks.

“Oh, Ali, for goodness’ sake,” said Mum. “You have a one-track mind!”

“One trek,” said Tash.

Rather clever, I thought.

“There’d be enough to keep me going,” said Ali, “so long as it was only a couple of months – though I suppose I could always come back and get more. If I ran out, I mean. If you decided to stay in Peru for longer than a couple of months.”

“Ali, I am not going to Peru,” said Mum. But she really didn’t say it with that much conviction. I think I knew, then, that we had won!

Two days later, it was all arranged. Mum was going to Peru, and we were going to Auntie Jay’s. Hurrah! We were so excited. Mum still had her doubts, but Dad, fortunately, was so busy with his digging, and so eager for Mum to go and take photographs, that he forgot we were his little helpless girls and told Mum that of course we’d be all right.

“Jay will keep an eye on them.” He even added that a bit of independence might be good for us. “Teach them a bit of responsibility.”

Wonders will never cease!!!

That weekend, me and Mum and Tash went to “view the apartment”, as they say. Ali was off somewhere with Louise Wagstaffe, her best friend from school. They are thick as thieves! Mum said, “Why not bring Louise with you?” but Ali said they had things to do. I don’t know how she could bear to miss out on all the fun. I mean, a place of our own! There was so much to talk about, so much to decide, like for instance who was going to sleep where, but Ali is the sort of person who really doesn’t care about her surroundings. I sometimes think she doesn’t even notice them, just so long as she has her beloved Star Treks.

Auntie Jay only lives on the other side of town, so the great advantage, from Mum and Dad’s point of view, was that we’d be OK for school. We’d only just started back for the summer term, and they are incredibly strict about not letting us miss any.

“Just remember –” it is their constant cry “ – we’re paying for you to go to that school!”

Yeah yeah yeah. They have to get their money’s worth, I do see that. Me and Tash wouldn’t have minded going off to Peru with them. Stuff school! Ali would probably have got fussed, though. She is quite a boffin, in her own peculiar way.

If Ali is a boffin, then Auntie Jay (who is Mum’s little sister) is your actual auntie from heaven. She is bliss! What other auntie would have offered the whole top floor of her house to three girls?

Once upon a time, Auntie Jay was “into property”. She used to buy it and sell it and make simply oodles of dosh, until after a bit she decided that just making money was rather ignoble, and also not terribly interesting, so she gave it all up and started to work for herself, instead. She runs this perfume company called Scents & Flowers, which advertises on the Internet but is actually located in her basement at home. Scents & Flowers doesn’t make very much money, but is very rewarding in all kinds of other ways. It does mean, however, that she has to let out most of her house as flats, keeping only the bottom bit for herself. It is lucky that it’s quite a large house, bought in the days when she was into property. It is also very old, being built in the year 1905. Which makes it, I think, Edwardian.

So we were going to inhabit the top floor. All by ourselves! Mum said we were extremely lucky that the flat was available. The last tenants had just moved out; we could see where they’d spilled stuff on the carpet and hung things on the wall.

“It really needs redecorating,” said Auntie Jay.

But Mum gave one of her hollow laughs, like ha ha you have to be joking, and said, “Wait till this lot have been in here a couple of weeks!”

“Mum, we’ll treat it like Buckingham Palace,” I said. “I promise!”

“Just don’t set fire to anything,” begged Auntie Jay, “that’s all I ask. Now, let’s take you on a guided tour.”

The main room, which was like a bedroom and sitting room all in one, was huge. It had a tiny little kitchen opening off it at one end, and an even tinier little bathroom at the other, plus a sort of broom cupboard with just enough space for a bed.

“I thought Ali could have that,” said Auntie Jay, “seeing as she’s the oldest. I’m afraid you two will have to share. Is that all right?”

There was just the one bed in the sitting room. It was a biggish sort of bed, but we’d never actually had to sleep together before.

“Blimey,” said Tash.

“You’d better not kick,” I said.

“You’d better not snore!”

Auntie Jay was beginning to look a bit flustered. “Maybe I ought to see if I can find another one somewhere.”