Boys Beware

Before we liquidised, we managed – just about – to get through our double act. Tash said, “Hi!”, beaming fit to bust.

Gus said, “Hi,” still seeming a bit, like, startled. I guess we did rush him, rather.

Tash was the one who got in first, though it doesn’t actually matter which of us starts cos we know the script off by heart.

“This is my sister, Emily –”

“And this is my sister, Tash.”

“You probably don’t think we look much like each other?”

“Even though we were born on exactly the same day.”

“Exactly the same year!”

“Which ought to make us twins.”

Pause.

“But we’re not!”

Surprise, surprise!

“See, her mum –”

“Married her dad.”

“So in point of fact – ”

“We are not actually related at all!”

Ho ho! Sometimes people laugh, and sometimes they look kind of nervous, like they think we’re a bit mad, or something. Gus just blinked and said, “Cool!”

I nodded. “We think so.” And then I nudged at Tash, and she nudged at me, and both together we said, “Would you like to come to a party we’re having?”

It’s funny how often we find ourselves doing this sort of thing … talking like we’re a chorus. We don’t do it on purpose; it just seems to happen.

“So would you like to?” said Tash.

Gus said yeah, great, that’d be cool. He then added that in fact he had already been asked. “Just now, by your sister.”

“Ali?” She’d gone off a few minutes earlier to meet her friend Louise in town. How sneaky of her!

“I suppose she’s your sister?” said Gus.

“Yeah,” I said, “she’s mine.” I said it with some reluctance. I am not always that keen on laying claim to Ali. I was desperately trying to remember what she had been wearing and thinking please, please not let it be her horrible saggy T-shirt and the bum-baggy trousers again. It creates such a bad impression, when me and Tash try so hard to make the best of ourselves.

The really important thing, however, is that Gus is coming. Hip, hip, hooray! A boy all of our own. Not a cousin or a brother, but a real genuine boy invited by us. Well, by Ali, I suppose, but it comes to the same thing.