A Baby Of His Own

‘So who was he, then?’ His voice grated but apart from that he seemed unmoved by the fact that she’d claimed to have been having an affair while they’d been seeing each other.

Lucy felt a knot of pain twist her heart but she couldn’t afford to admit that it hurt to know how little she’d meant to him. ‘Just someone I met one night in a club.’

‘So it was a one-night stand—is that what you’re saying?’

‘That’s right. I haven’t seen him since and I don’t expect to. He was in Dalverston on business and there’s no reason to imagine I’ll run into him again.’

‘And does he have a name? Or didn’t you bother asking him that?’

He smiled at her, his white teeth gleaming, his eyes sparkling with what looked like amusement. Was he relieved to have been let off the hook? she wondered, feeling sickly. Glad that another man was the father of her child so that he wouldn’t have to worry about the responsibilities of being a parent? The thought was almost too much to bear, but she had to bear it for Izzy’s sake.

‘I don’t see what difference it makes what his name is. He’s not part of the equation, to use your own analogy.’

‘And you’re perfectly happy about that, are you? You don’t care that your daughter is going to grow up without knowing her father?’

‘A lot of children don’t have any contact with one or other of their parents these days. I’m quite sure that it won’t make a lot of difference to Isabel’s life.’

It wasn’t true, of course. She did worry about what her daughter was going to miss as she grew up. Her own childhood had been idyllic and she hated to think that Izzy wouldn’t enjoy the support that came from a secure family background. However, there was no way that she was prepared to admit that to Connor, especially when he’d accepted her story about another man so readily. If she’d fostered any hopes that he’d ever loved her, they’d just been completely dashed.

The thought was so painful that Lucy knew she had to bring the conversation to an end. She looked pointedly at her watch. ‘I need to get back. We’re two members of staff down today so we’re working at full stretch.’

‘Of course. I’m sorry to have delayed you but I’m glad we’ve had this chat. It’s helped to clear up a few things which have been bothering me since I spoke to Lisa.’

He stepped away from the door, but instead of moving out of her way so she could leave, he stopped directly in front of her. Lucy felt her heart start to race when she saw how grim he looked. There was no sign of amusement on his face now and no hint of softness in his voice either.

‘The thing I always admired about you, Lucy, was your honesty. You said what you meant and you meant what you said, but obviously you’ve changed.’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she began, but he shook his head.

‘Of course you do. You would never have told me that pack of lies about Isabel’s father a year ago. There was no other man and we both know that. I’m her father and I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for trying to hide her existence from me, but I do know that things are going to change from now on.

‘She’s my daughter as well as yours and I intend to play a proper role in her life. So if you’re harbouring any thoughts of cutting me out then I suggest you forget them. I shall do whatever it takes to be a real father to that little girl. And if that means taking you to court to gain access to her, that’s what I’ll do.’

‘Connor…!’ she began, but he’d already turned away. Lucy pressed her hand to her mouth as he strode out of the door. She’d always believed that she’d been right not to tell him about Izzy but it didn’t feel that way any more. It felt as though she’d not only let her daughter down but Connor as well, which was crazy. She didn’t owe him any allegiance. He’d walked out of her life and he had no right to think that he could come back now and create havoc!

She took a steadying breath. The biggest mistake she could make now would be to panic. Isabel was her daughter and she would do whatever it took to protect her. Connor was never going to hurt Izzy the way he had hurt her.

CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_7091ab9a-22d5-5f3d-bab5-f81e7ece5d3e)

CONNOR couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt so angry. Normally, he had no difficulty controlling his temper. He firmly believed that it was futile to expend energy in such a non-productive fashion, yet he couldn’t seem to get a grip as he made his way to the ward. Sandra was coming out of the office and he sighed when he saw her face light up. Although he wasn’t vain, he was aware of the impact he had on some of the female members of staff and he really didn’t feel like politely fending her off.

‘I was just coming to find you!’ she exclaimed. ‘I know you’re not officially on duty yet but—’

‘What’s happened?’ he asked immediately because work had always taken priority over everything else.

Funnily enough, the idea stung and he frowned. He’d never considered his dedication to be a drawback before yet he couldn’t help wondering if this situation would have arisen if he’d devoted less time to his career. If he hadn’t taken up the post in Boston, for instance, he would have known that Lucy had been pregnant.

The fact that he could even consider the move to Boston as something to regret stunned him, so that it was a moment before he realised that Sandra was looking expectantly at him. Although he hated to admit that he hadn’t heard a word she’d said, he didn’t have a choice.

‘Sorry. I was miles away. It must be the jet-lag. I only arrived last night and I’m still catching up with the time difference. Can you tell me all that again?’

‘Of course!’

Sandra smiled forgivingly, making it clear that she would happily repeat the information any number of times he wanted her to. Connor wasn’t about to slip up again, however. He listened attentively as she explained that Theatre had just phoned to say they had a problem with a seven-year-old they’d been operating on. Sophie Fisher had been undergoing a routine tonsillectomy when she’d suffered an adverse reaction to the anaesthetic, which had caused her heart to stop. The anaesthetist had managed to restart her heart but she would need careful monitoring for the first twenty-four hours or so.

‘Is there a high-dependency bed available?’ he asked when Sandra had finished. Opening the paediatric high-dependency unit had been a major coup for his predecessor. High-dependency beds bridged the gap between nursing on a ward and in the intensive care unit—they were invaluable in a case like this where a patient needed extra care.

‘They’re all free,’ Sandra admitted. ‘We had to close the unit at the beginning of May because we didn’t have enough staff to cover it.’

‘Are you saying that there’s been no high-dependency paediatric beds available for over two months?’ he exclaimed incredulously.

‘Yes. Oh, they’ve advertised the posts several times, but I’m not sure if they’ve found anyone suitable yet. Maybe Lucy will know. Here she is now, you can ask her.’

Connor glanced round and saw Lucy coming along the corridor. He beckoned her over, pretending not to notice the strain on her face. Even though he was furious about the way she’d cut him out of his daughter’s life, it upset him to see her looking so worried.

‘We’ve a seven-year-old girl who needs a high-dependency bed,’ he explained crisply, determined not to let his feelings show. ‘Sandra has just informed me that the unit is closed.’

‘That’s right. The staff who were working there have been moved to ICU. Apparently, there were vacancies there as well so the management decided to close the unit and save on resources.’

‘That’s something I need to sort out,’ he said grimly. ‘However, it doesn’t solve our current problem. How long will it take to prepare a bed in the unit?’

‘Not very long. Everything is still in place so it’s just a matter of making up a bed and plugging in the equipment. However, there’s just three of us on today and Sandra will be going off duty soon. I’m the only one who’s done the extra training needed to work in the high-dependency unit and I can’t leave the ward.’

‘I understand that, but what if I find another nurse to cover the unit? Could you manage then?’

‘Yes, of course, although I don’t know where you’re going to find anyone. There’s nobody available in ICU—I’ve already asked them.’

She shrugged, her brown eyes meeting his for a second before they skittered away. Connor suddenly wished with all his heart that things had turned out differently. If he’d stayed in Dalverston, he and Lucy would never have been at loggerheads like this, he thought sadly.

Once again the fact that he regretted what had been an excellent career move startled him. His career had always been the most important thing in his life and to experience these doubts was deeply unsettling. He turned away, not wanting her to see how vulnerable he felt all of a sudden.

‘Sandra, can you get back on to Theatre and tell them to send the patient up as soon as they’re happy to move her?’ He went to the desk and picked up the phone, glancing at Lucy over his shoulder. ‘And can you get everything ready? The child’s stable at the moment but there’s always a chance that she might suffer a second cardiac arrest and we need to be prepared for it.’

‘But I’ve just explained that we don’t have enough staff to man the high-dependency unit as well as the ward.’

‘And I’ve just told you that I’ll find you another nurse,’ Connor said shortly, keying in the code for an outside line.

‘If you can find an experienced critical care nurse in Dalverston then you must be able to work miracles,’ she said scathingly. ‘None of the nursing agencies has anyone suitable on their books. I know that for a fact because Mark Dawson told me that he contacted them when he found out the unit was being closed down.’

‘I’m not contacting an agency.’ He keyed in another string of digits, wondering why it hurt to know how little faith she had in him. He’d never needed anyone’s approbation before—he’d taught himself to be totally self-sufficient—yet he’d have been lying if he’d claimed that he didn’t care how Lucy felt about him.

The thought worried him so much that his tone was brusquer than it might otherwise have been. ‘A friend of mine from Boston travelled over here with me. She worked in a high-dependency unit so she knows the drill. She qualified in England so there won’t be a problem with her nursing credentials either. I’m sure she’ll be willing to help if I ask her.’

‘I see. I’ll leave you to make the arrangements, then.’

Lucy spun round before he could say anything else. Connor frowned as he watched her disappear into the side room that housed the high-dependency beds. She was obviously upset, although he had no idea why. Surely she should be pleased that he’d found a solution to their problem?

His breath caught as a thought struck him. Was it possible that Lucy was jealous? Dee was just a friend and she had her own reasons for coming back to England, but Lucy didn’t know that. She probably assumed that Dee was his current girlfriend and that they’d decided to move back here together. He was suddenly overwhelmed by a need to set the record straight, but before he could act on it, Dee answered the phone.