A Baby Of His Own

He quickly explained his predicament and, as he’d expected, Dee immediately offered to help. He thanked her and hung up but then he had to clear it with the nursing officer and that caused another delay. By the time everything was arranged, the patient had arrived so once again there was no time to speak to Lucy.

The anaesthetist had brought the girl upstairs himself so they ran through her case notes together. Connor could tell the other man was worried in case any blame might be attached to him, but his notes showed that nothing had happened while Sophie had been in Theatre to have caused her to arrest. It had been a tragic accident caused by an adverse reaction to the anaesthetic agents used during the operation, and he told the anaesthetist that and sent him on his way.

Lucy had the child linked up to the monitoring equipment by the time he went to check on her. She was sedated and connected to a ventilator. Her blood pressure, heart rate and rhythm and oxygen levels were all being monitored. Body fluids and blood-sugar levels were being maintained by intravenous infusions of salts and glucose. Urine was being collected via a catheter and nutrients supplied intravenously. Connor knew that everything possible was being done for the child but as he looked at her pale little face, he was suddenly beset by a pain so intense that he winced.

How would he feel if it was his daughter lying in that bed? It didn’t bear thinking about, but it did prove that he’d been right to come back to England. It had been a shock when he’d worked out that Lucy’s baby must be his child, too, but he’d known from the outset what he’d had to do.

Isabel was going to grow up knowing that she had a father who loved her. He knew how it felt to be unwanted and wouldn’t allow the same thing to happen to his child. He intended to be a proper father to Isabel, not some shadowy figure who drifted in and out of her life, and if Lucy didn’t like the idea, it was tough.

He glanced across at Lucy and felt his heart spasm again. He really and truly didn’t want to fight with her. Leaving Lucy had been the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, although he doubted if she would believe him if he told her that. It was his own fault because he’d gone to great lengths to ensure that she’d known they hadn’t had a future together.

Now the situation had changed, but it wasn’t going be easy to persuade her to let him back into her life. It was obvious how she felt about him but he had to find a way to convince her that he didn’t mean her or Isabel any harm. He certainly wasn’t hoping to rekindle their affair if that was what was worrying her! That was over and done with, although he’d be lying if he claimed that he hadn’t thought about her while he’d been in America. There’d been far too many nights, in fact, when he had lain awake, thinking about her. Of all the women he’d ever dated, Lucy was the one who’d touched him most, the one for whom he might have considered abandoning his dreams.

‘Sophie Fisher is still giving us cause for concern. Connor has tried her on various drugs but she’s not responding as well as he’d hoped she would.’

Lucy handed over the patient’s chart to Bea Francis, the night sister, hoping the other woman hadn’t noticed the way her voice had quavered when she’d mentioned Connor’s name. She took a deep breath to iron out the bumps before continuing.

‘She’s still showing signs of arrhythmia so he wants the situation monitored overnight. If things haven’t settled down by the morning, he’ll decide then whether to try cardioversion.’

‘It might be the only option,’ Bea agreed, glancing at the chart. She set it aside and grinned at Lucy. ‘OK, so what’s the gen on Connor, then? I was stunned when Mel told me that he was our new boss. Why has he decided to come back to Dalverston?’

‘I’ve no idea.’ Lucy shrugged. She didn’t want Bea to think she was the least bit bothered by Connor’s return. ‘Maybe he missed the British weather.’

‘You must be joking!’

Bea stared pointedly out of the office window. Despite the fact that it was the middle of July, it was pouring down outside and it had been doing so for a while now. Flood warnings had been posted in the town and the houses closest to the river had been surrounded by a wall of sandbags. It certainly hadn’t been the best reason Lucy could have come up with to explain Connor’s return but what else could she have said? That he’d come back to claim his daughter?

A spasm ran through her and she rushed on, not wanting to think about how angry he’d been with her. ‘I’m sure he must have his reasons for coming back, but who knows what they are?’

‘Think they have anything to do with that nurse he’s brought in to help?’ Bea looked expectantly at her. ‘Mel told me they used to work together in Boston. Maybe she wanted to come back to England and Connor decided he couldn’t bear to lose her so came back as well.’

‘It’s one theory,’ Lucy conceded, although she doubted it was true. Oh, she didn’t dispute that Connor and Dee might be having a relationship—how could she when everything pointed towards it? However, it seemed far more likely that Dee had been the one to follow Connor back to England. She couldn’t imagine him going anywhere at someone else’s behest. Whatever Connor wanted always came first, and other people were expected to fall in with his wishes.

The thought was more than a little scary in the circumstances so she decided it was time to cut short the conversation. ‘That’s just about everything now so I’ll be off. Have a good night.’

‘I’ll try.’ Bea smiled sympathetically as Lucy hurried to the door. ‘I expect you’re anxious to see Isabel. I remember how much I hated leaving my kids when they were little, but needs must. And at least you were able to get her into the hospital’s crèche. That must have made life a bit easier.’

‘It was a godsend, them opening it just before I was due to return to work,’ Lucy agreed. ‘I don’t know how I’d have managed if I’d had to take Izzy to a childminder before I came into work this morning. It’s amazing how much stuff one small baby needs!’

‘It doesn’t get any better when they’re teenagers,’ Bea retorted. ‘The essentials just get bigger and more expensive!’

‘Thanks! That’s really cheered me up.’

Lucy was still laughing when she left the office. She hurried along the corridor, bypassing the nursing station and waving when she saw a couple of members of the night staff behind the desk. She knew that if she stopped to speak to them it would hold her up, and she was anxious to collect Izzy and take her home.

The newly opened staff crèche was in the old part of the building and had taken over the former site of the physiotherapy department. Lucy went straight there but there were still a lot of people ahead of her when she arrived, and she had to queue up to sign in. She’d almost reached the front of the queue when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned round and her heart leapt when she found Connor standing behind her.

‘What are you doing here?’ she demanded, not making any attempt to hide her displeasure.

‘What do you think?’ He smiled thinly. ‘I thought now would be as good a time as any to meet my daughter.’

‘Sh! Keep your voice down,’ Lucy admonished, frantically looking over his shoulder. Fortunately the woman behind them in the queue was talking to her friend and didn’t appear to have heard what he’d said. Nevertheless, she was furious with him for being so indiscreet.

‘People are going to find out at some point,’ he stated coolly. ‘Maybe you would prefer to keep quiet about me being Isabel’s father but I have no intention of lying.’

‘It isn’t up to you, though, Connor. It’s my decision what I choose to tell people. And if I prefer not to tell them about you, that’s what will happen.’

‘Meaning that I don’t have a choice in the matter?’ He shook his head. ‘Sorry, Lucy, but it isn’t up to you to make that decision on your own. It’s something we need to discuss, along with a lot of other things concerning our daughter.’

‘What other things?’

‘All sorts of things, and far too many to list at the moment if you don’t want anyone overhearing.’

His tone was flat yet she sensed a certain tension about him, which surprised her. It was unlike Connor to display his feelings. He’d always been very cool and contained, keeping his emotions in check—apart from when they’d been sharing their most intimate moments, of course.

The memory of their love-making brought a rush of heat to her cheeks and she turned away, busying herself with signing her name in the visitors’ book. Security was tight and only parents or people designated by a parent were allowed inside the crèche. She moved away from the desk, then paused. If Connor tried to follow her, he would have problems getting in. Even though she hated the thought of him meeting Izzy, she didn’t want to run the risk of him causing a scene.

‘Dr Mackenzie is with me,’ she informed the nursery nurse who was standing guard at the door. ‘Is it all right if he comes in with me?’

‘So long as he signs the book,’ the girl agreed. ‘Shall I add him to the list of people authorised to see Izzy?’

‘No,’ Lucy said quickly.

‘Yes.’ Connor signed his name, ignoring the furious look she shot at him. He treated the girl to one of his most captivating smiles. ‘If it isn’t too much trouble.’

‘Of course not!’ The young nursery nurse beamed at him. ‘Just fill in this card with your contact details and hand it back to me on your way out. I’ll do the rest.’

‘Thanks.’ Connor pocketed the card then slid his hand under Lucy’s elbow and steered her away from the desk. He shook his head when she opened her mouth to protest. ‘Save it till later. I don’t want Izzy getting upset because she’s seen us fighting.’

Lucy’s lips clamped together. She couldn’t argue with that sentiment, but she resented his high-handed attitude and intended to tell him that as soon as she got the chance.

She shrugged off his hand as they entered the main section of the crèche, which had once housed the physiotherapy department’s gymnasium. It had been transformed into an attractive play area now, complete with a large plastic slide and shelves full of toys. A separate room had been set aside for the babies so she went straight there, her face breaking into a smile when she saw Izzy sitting on a rug in the corner. The little girl was happily beating a plastic saucepan with a wooden spoon and Lucy felt a rush of love assail her as she knelt down beside her.

‘Hello, darling. Are you having a lovely time?’

Izzy immediately dropped the spoon and held out her arms to be picked up. Lucy lifted her into the air and blew a raspberry on her tummy, feeling her eyes fill with tears as she inhaled the familiar scent of baby powder. Today had been the first time they’d been apart since Izzy had been born and she had missed her so much.

‘Aren’t you going to introduce us?’

She looked round when Connor spoke and maybe it was because she was already feeling so emotional that a lump came to her throat when she saw the expression on his face. He was staring at Izzy with such wonderment that the coldest heart would have melted.

All of a sudden she felt ashamed of her decision to keep Izzy’s existence a secret from him. At the time it had seemed like the right thing to do but it no longer felt that way. And yet if she accepted Connor’s role in her daughter’s life, she would have to accept him as part of her life, too. Could she cope with being around him on that basis? Or would the strain prove too much?

Her heart began to race but there was no way that she could avoid the truth any longer. She still loved Connor, even though she knew that he had never really loved her.

CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_9ad40183-d9f2-57f5-b8cc-4302e1bf121c)

‘HELLO, Izzy.’