Great Sporting Wisdom: Legendary Quotes from the World of Sport

The free throw shot is both easy – and difficult.

Peter Mintoft

Mistaken Identity

I guess I know very little about music. I’ve just discovered Yoko Ono is a singer. I thought it was Japanese for ‘one egg please’.

Anon basketball player

Player Power

We have total discipline in the Lakers’ locker room. It’s ‘yes sir’ and ‘no sir’. ‘Yes sir, Kareem’. ‘No sir, Magic’.

Pat Riley, Lakers’ coach

Equality of the Sexes

Of course there should be women basketball referees. Incompetence should not be confined to one sex.

Bill Russell, sportswriter

Good Company

It’s better to eat caviar with two players than hot dogs with five.

Marcel Souza, sportswriter

Black Magic

He [Magic Johnson] should change his name from Magic to Mystifying.

Mychal Thompson, LA Lakers

Zoo

Basketball, a game which won’t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

Ogden Nash, poet and humourist

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Board and Card Games (#ulink_de64655b-bcdd-5bf9-98cc-1b8e99c2f640)

Card and board games have generated a highly enjoyable and varied selection of interesting, informative, intriguing, infuriating and occasionally just witty remarks. For some reason they attract exponents of renowned surrealism, comic genius and savage wit, offering a quirky insight into the sporting psyche as well as some riotous good laughs. The vintage comments range from the classical to the colloquial, from ancient philosophers to today’s stars of stage and screen.

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Never play cards with a man named Doc.

Nelson Algren

Outdoor Pursuits

I’m afraid I play no outdoor games at all, except dominoes. I have sometimes played dominoes outside a French cafe.

Oscar Wilde

Small Is Not Beautiful

I failed to make the chess team, because of my height.

Woody Allen

Blood Is Thicker Than Water

She leads away from aces and neglects to keep my jump bids alive. But she is still my mother.

Heywood Brown

Suspicious Minds

Trust everybody – but cut the cards.

Finley Peter Dunne

Unfair Advantage

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Michael Enright

Exhaustion

Bridge I regard as only one degree better than absolutely vacuous conversation, which is certainly the most fatiguing thing in the world.

Arthur C. Benson

Waste

As elaborate a waste of human intelligence [chess] as you can find outside an advertising agency.

Raymond Chandler

Time Management

Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people think they are doing something clever, when they are only wasting their time.

George Bernard Shaw