Don Smallwood, the President of the British Baseball Federation on the low interest in the sport in the UK
Envy
There’s two kinds of ball players – prospects and suspects. And suspects don’t like prospects.
Anon
Women Trouble
There is no reason why the infield should not try to put the batter off his stride at the critical moment, by neatly-timed disparagements of his wife’s fidelity and his mother’s respectability.
George Bernard Shaw
2. Players
Persistence
If you don’t succeed at first, try second base.
Anon
Up To Standard
Who said I have no standards? ‘Course I have standards! They may be very low, but at least I have them.
Yogi Berra
Line Dancing
All right, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel
Diagnosis
From the way Denny’s shaking his head, he’s either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.
Jerry Coleman
High Scoring
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Henry ‘Hank’ Aaron, Atlanta Braves
Slow Motion
[Stu] Miller has three speeds – slow, slower and slowest.
Anon
On The Crest Of A Slump
Slumps are like a soft bed – they’re easy to get into, and hard to get out of.
Johnny Bench, Cincinnatti Reds
Penetrating Analysis
If the people don’t want to come out to the ball park, nobody’s gonna stop them.
Yogi Berra
Legs
Who says I treat women badly? Nonsense, I put them on pedestals. It’s much easier to look up their skirts that way.
Babe Ruth attributed
Divine Providence
The good Lord was good to me. He gave me a strong body, a strong right arm and a weak mind.
Jay ‘Dizzy’ Dean, player & sportscaster
Heads Will Roll
There’s a fly ball back to centre field. Winfield is going back, back… He hits his head against the wall. It’s rolling back towards second base.
Jerry Coleman
Covert Operations
Throwing a fastball by Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.
Curt Simmons, Philadelphia Phillies
Highlight Of The Year
Young Frank Pastore may have just pitched the biggest victory of 1979, maybe the biggest victory of the year.
Jerry Coleman
Educating Yogi
You can observe a lot just by watching.
Yogi Berra