Classic Bestsellers from Josephine Cox: Bumper Collection

Quickly now, she crossed the room to see what it was that had disturbed Emily to such an extent. When she saw the light in Clem’s place, she grabbed the curtains and flung them together. Her brother had probably got one of his trollops in there. Lately, entertaining streetwomen was a regular thing.

Aggie looked at Emily; at the raw emotion still etched into her face. ‘What is it, love? What’s wrong?’

The girl grew nervous. ‘What do you mean?’ Just now when she’d been looking across at her uncle’s place, she was thinking about the day in the barn, when he had brutally possessed her. She hadn’t realised how, in that moment, the murderous intent she felt for him had been alive in her face.

Aggie took her by the shoulders. ‘I know you hate him,’ she said softly. ‘We all do. Only, it seems something more with you.’ She had to ask. ‘Did he ever hurt you, child? Has he ever made improper suggestions to you?’

Emily felt the blood rush to her face. ‘No!’ Shock and disbelief that her mother could ask such a thing made her lies all the more convincing to Aggie. ‘I blame him for coming between me and John. It was him who warned John off!’

She wriggled out of her mother’s grip and went to stand with her back to the wall, her voice breaking with emotion as she said, ‘I’ll never forgive him. Yes, I hate him! I hate the way he rules this family like the bully he is. I hate how he carries on his filthy ways in front of us all … in front of little Cathleen! And the pity of it is that there isn’t a thing we can do to stop him.’

‘All right, lass, I understand.’ Aggie was more settled in her mind now about the suspicions she’d harboured. But she had little reason to be content. ‘Come and sit down. I’ll put the kettle on, and we can talk awhile. But then you’ve to go back to bed and try to get some sleep. We’ve a deal of work to do on the morrow, and we’ll neither of us be capable of anything, if we don’t take care of ourselves.’

Good as her word, Aggie put the kettle on, made the tea and cut two small helpings of her best fruit-cake. ‘There y’are, lass.’ She set the tray between them. ‘Now then, what woke you out of your bed, eh?’

Emily shook her head. ‘I’m not sure,’ she answered, taking up her tea and slowly sipping it.

Aggie did the same. ‘One of your bad dreams, was it?’

‘I think it must have been.’

‘Dreaming about John Hanley, were you?’

Emily smiled up at her. ‘I can’t forget him, Mam. I still can’t understand why he did what he did.’

Aggie was straightforward as ever. ‘It’s like he said in his letter, lass. He just fell out of love with you and in love with someone else.’

Emily still could not accept it. ‘I find it so hard to believe. We loved each other too much. I could never love anyone else the way I love John.’ Her gaze fell away. ‘How could he do it, Mam? How could he just turn his back on me, after what we meant to each other?’

Aggie sighed. ‘I know it’s hard, lass, but it wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened and I’m sure it won’t be the last.’

Emily paused before asking, ‘Is that what’s happened with Dad, d’you think?’ She didn’t want to hurt her mother by raising painful issues, but her father had been gone so long, it was like he was never coming home.

Aggie was visibly surprised at her daughter’s pointed question. ‘I think he just gave way under the weight of debt and troubles,’ she answered simply.

Emily valued her conversations with Aggie, and never more than now. ‘If it had been another woman, would you be badly hurt by it?’

‘Aye, lass, I would.’

‘Enough to shut him out of your life for ever?’

‘Aw, love.’ Aggie smiled knowingly. ‘I’m not saying you should shut John out of your life. What I’m saying is this: he was the one who did the shutting out. You mustn’t spend your life waiting for him to walk in the door. He might never come back, and one day it’ll be too late for you to start again. You’ve had no word from him in years.’

Every minute of every day, Emily was looking for reasons as to why John had not come back to her. ‘One day he may realise that the other woman isn’t for him,’ she said hopefully.

‘If you’re waiting for that to happen, you’ll be wasting precious time.’ Like any mother, Aggie wanted happiness for her child. She needed to see her settled and content before the years caught up with her. ‘You’re still young,’ she said encouragingly. ‘You should be looking for a fresh start, with a new man. And what about Cathleen? She’s over four years old now. It won’t be long afore she starts at the village school. What will she think, when the other children start talking about their daddies? An’ how long will it be afore she starts asking questions about her daddy?’

Emily, too, had been troubled about that very thing. ‘I don’t know,’ she answered truthfully.

‘Will you tell her how her daddy ran out on you, and that you’ve no idea where he is?’ Aggie asked innocently.

‘Right now, I’ve no idea what I might tell her.’ Emily had never argued with the rumours that circulated, about John being the father of her child. At the time it had seemed easier that way. Yet if he ever did come back, she knew she would be bound to tell him what had happened that day in the barn. She would have no choice but to confess that little Cathleen had been the result, and that though she herself would regret the making of her till the day she was gone from this earth, she would never regret knowing and raising that lovely-natured little girl.

‘You must tell the child the truth,’ Aggie said firmly. ‘That her father went away and never came back. You can tell her all about him if you choose, or make up any story you like. But the child has a right to know who her father is.’

Emily’s heart sank. ‘That’s for me to decide, Mam! You mustn’t worry your head about it.’ The prospect of telling Cathleen who her father was had caused her many a sleepless night.

‘I’m not saying it isn’t your decision, lass. All I want is for you to think about it and be ready, for when she starts asking the questions.’

For a moment Aggie discreetly observed her daughter deep in thought. There was a troubled look on Emily’s face that prompted her to ask worriedly, ‘Cathleen is John’s child, isn’t she?’

Emily looked up. ‘Well, that’s what they’re all saying, so it must be right.’

‘Yes, lass. It’s what they say, and we all thought the same. But you’ve never said. You’ve never confirmed or denied it. Not so as I recall, anyway.’

Pushing the chair away, Emily excused herself. ‘I’m feeling tired now, Mam,’ she apologised. ‘I’d best be away to my bed.’ She kissed her mother on the forehead and was soon on her way upstairs.

Left alone, Aggie began to wonder. A dark suspicion crept in. If she wasn’t John’s child, then who was Cathleen’s father? Emily had only ever had eyes for John Hanley. The lass never kept company with any other young men – not so far as she knew, anyway.

A shocking thought entered her head then; so terrible that she thrust it to the back of her mind. ‘You mustn’t think bad things, Aggie!’ she told herself. ‘What happened with you was a long time ago. You mustn’t let it colour your thinking, or it’ll send you out of your mind!’

Afraid of her own rampaging thoughts, she took herself off to bed. But it was a long time before she could get to sleep, and even then, it was a sleep full of restless dreams.

In the morning it was as though the conversation between Emily and her mother had never taken place.

When Emily came into the kitchen with Cathleen beside her, Aggie was already cooking breakfast. ‘Look what I found, Mam.’ Emily sat the tousled-haired child at the table. ‘One half-asleep, starving-hungry little girl.’ She stooped to give her daughter a hug.

‘Dolly Dora wants a hug too.’ Cathleen held out her rag-doll. ‘I think she wants some porridge as well.’

Aggie turned from the stove to give her a smile. ‘Well now, we’d best feed you both, eh?’ she chuckled. ‘Afore you start eating the table!’

The child found that very droll. ‘We won’t eat the table, Grandma,’ she said. ‘Anyway, Dolly Dora hasn’t got any teeth.’

While Aggie spooned out the child’s porridge, Emily poured her a glass of milk. In a matter of minutes the child was settled, but no sooner had the two women sat down than there came a familiar tap on the door. ‘Any chance of a brew for a weary, hardworking milkman?’ Grinning from ear to ear, Danny poked his head round the door.

At once, Cathleen scrambled down from the table and threw herself into his arms. ‘Danny! Danny! Dolly’s having porridge,’ she said, leading him to the table. ‘You can have some too, if you like – can’t he, Grandma?’ Her face shone up at Aggie. ‘If there’s none left, he can share mine.’

‘Oh, there’s plenty left,’ she answered readily. ‘Only I’ve a feeling Danny might rather have eggs and bacon – and mebbe a sausage and a morsel o’ black-pudding too?’ She looked at Danny, who nodded emphatically.

‘That sounds just the ticket,’ he said, and sat himself at the table. ‘Morning, Emily.’ As always, his face lit up when he looked at her.

Emily bade him good morning. She brought his tea and served his meal, and the four of them sat together at the table, talking and laughing, and exchanging tales, just like a real family. For Danny it was a wonderful feeling. One he intended making permanent, soonever he got the chance.

When the meal was over, the dishes were carried to the sink. ‘I’ll give you ladies a hand washing up.’ Danny sank his hands into a pot-sink full of soda and hot water from the kettle, but that was as far as he got. ‘Take Cathleen up to see her grandad,’ Emily suggested, ‘while me and Mam wash up.’

‘That suits me.’ Danny drew his hands out of the water, and pretended to examine them. ‘All this hot, greasy water is doing terrible damage to my skin.’

‘Go on with you!’ He always made Aggie smile. ‘Get off upstairs, the pair of youse. Oh, and will you tell Dad I’ll be along shortly to change his bedlinen?’