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Classic Bestsellers from Josephine Cox: Bumper Collection

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2018
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Thinking the very same, Emily started up the stairs. ‘And don’t you go trying to manage that crate all on your own!’ she warned.

Aggie laughed. ‘I might be able to do a lot o’ things,’ she answered, ‘but I know my limits. I’ll wait for you to come down. Don’t you worry.’

She watched Emily go, and raised her eyes to heaven. ‘Dear Good Lord, will You try and get her to say yes to Danny?’ She could see a future for Emily and the child in Danny’s loving care.

Taking Aggie by surprise, Emily was back in no time. ‘I knew it!’ Aggie stood with hands on hips and a look of consternation on her face. ‘He won’t budge, will he?’

‘At first he was stubborn as a mule, but when I told him Danny was waiting downstairs, he wanted to know why we’d neglected him, and why he hadn’t been asked before.’

Aggie smiled. ‘He’s a canny old bugger, that’s what he is.’

Emily laughed at the pair of them. ‘A bit like you then – eh, Mam?’

A few moments later, she and Aggie carried the box out to the garden, and laid it on the ground. Danny was horrified. ‘You shouldn’t be carrying that weight! Why didn’t you call me?’

‘We’ve a bigger job for you, son,’ Aggie informed him. ‘There’s a cantankerous old devil upstairs, who’s waiting to be helped down. The poor thing’s been that badly neglected, we thought we might give him a little treat by way of an apology.’

Danny saw the look on her face and knew her father-in-law had been up to his old tricks. ‘That’ll be the day, when I see you and Emily neglect him. What! You spoil him rotten, the pair of you.’

Aggie thanked him. ‘Happen you’d best tell him that,’ she said. ‘He seems to think he’s hard done by. Or he pretends to think it, so he can put us through hoops, that’s more like it.’

‘He’s entitled to,’ Emily chuckled. ‘I might do the same when I’m his age.’

While Danny and her mother went after Grandad, Emily and Cathleen returned to the house. ‘I’ll take the plates,’ she told the girl. ‘You can carry the salt and pepper.’ Handing her the two condiments, Emily gave her a cuddle. ‘You always want to help, don’t you, eh?’

That done, the two of them laid out the picnic rug. ‘You wait here, sweetheart.’ Emily sat her daughter on the rug. ‘I’ll go and get the cutlery.’ She was looking forward to the picnic, especially now Grandad was coming down.

Upstairs, Danny helped Thomas Isaac out of bed and held him upright while Aggie put on his robe and slippers. ‘Stand still!’ She almost toppled over, when he began his way towards the door. ‘Your slippers are not properly on yet.’

‘Hurry up, woman!’ he retaliated. ‘I’m hungry. It’s hours since I were fed.’

‘You ate soup and bread only half an hour since.’ By now she was puffing and panting. ‘Dad! Will you stand still? Or have I to ask Danny to put you back to bed?’

‘You’re a wicked woman, Aggie Ramsden.’

‘Not as wicked as I’ll be if you don’t keep still for a minute.’

‘You’re tekking too damned long!’

Sighing and groaning, Aggie straightened her back. ‘You’re an awkward old sod, that’s what you are.’

At which he gave her a smacker on the forehead. ‘And you’re lovely when you’re angry.’

Danny laughed. ‘Do I get a kiss too, then?’

‘What!’ The old man gave him a warning glare. ‘You’ll get a kick up the arse if you don’t get me down them stairs and into that garden sharpish, afore the sun goes down.’

Danny redoubled his efforts. ‘Come on, Aggie, me old darling,’ he said. ‘We’d best get this bundle o’ trouble out of here.’

It was no easy task. The stairs were narrow and winding and the old man cursed each and every step. ‘Damned things are too steep, they mek me dizzy. An’ why can’t they mek ’em wider, eh? I’m squashed agin the wall like a chop atween a bap.’

‘I hope you’re not blaming me?’ Danny remarked good-naturedly. ‘It wasn’t me that built the stairs, so do us a favour; stop your meithering and hold on.’ Inching the old man down the stairs was taking longer than he’d anticipated.

Thomas Isaac took not a blind bit of notice. ‘Yer not doing very well, are yer?’ he complained. ‘If we keep going at this rate, we’ll be here a month on Sunday.’

Panting from the burden of easing his legs one after the other down the steps, Aggie chided, ‘You’re not doing much to help yourself, are you?’

‘I’m doing me best, woman!’

‘You’ll do even better if you save your breath for the effort, instead of having a go at me and Danny.’

‘Danny’s not complaining.’

‘That’s because he has respect for old folks.’

‘I’m not old!’

‘No. Just cantankerous.’ Winking at Danny she bent her back and carried on regardless.

‘If I’m such a nuisance, tek me back to me bed then.’

‘I’ll do no such thing. We’ll get you down these stairs and outside if it kills us.’

Danny had an idea. ‘Stand aside,’ he told Aggie. ‘He’s right. We’re getting nowhere fast like this.’

In a minute, much to the old man’s horror, Danny had him in his arms and was carrying him bodily down the stairs. ‘Put me down, you great ox!’ The old man objected to being carried like a baby. ‘You’ll do me a damage!’

Ignoring the shouts and abuse, Danny took him all the way down the stairs, and out to the bench, where he gently sat him down. ‘Now, behave yourself,’ he said with a grin.

‘Or he’ll have to carry you all the way back again,’ Aggie chipped in. ‘Now then, Dad, do you want lemon-barley or sarsaparilla?’

‘I’ll ’ave a drop o’ the good stuff.’

‘If you mean elderberry wine, you’ve had your ration already.’

‘Well! It’s a picnic, in’t it? What good’s a picnic if yer can’t ’ave a drop o’ the good stuff, that’s what I’d like to know?’

Emily agreed. ‘It won’t hurt just this once, will it, Mam?’

Aggie gave a long, noisy sigh. ‘Aw, go on then. But only this once,’ she warned her father-in-law. ‘And don’t think you can try it on again, ’cause you can’t.’

Aside to Danny, she explained, ‘If he has too much, he’ll be singing and shouting and thinking he can dance the night away. Then he’ll get dizzy and fall over. A small measure is good for him, but I have to be careful, y’see? Like the doctor says, he’s just not well enough to take a full glass.’ She saw how, even now, the old fella looked pale and drawn, and her voice grew soft with affection. ‘He might swear and groan and make me want to pull my hair out, but deep down he’s a darling, and I love him.’

Danny understood that. ‘Well, who couldn’t help but love him, eh?’

While Emily went to fetch the elderberry wine, Aggie gave out the pork pie and sandwiches. ‘Eat up. There’s plenty more where that lot came from,’ she said, tucking into her own helping.

When Emily returned with the wine, the old man was given a reasonable enough measure. ‘That’s only a quarter of a glass!’ He thrust it back at Aggie.
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