Classic Bestsellers from Josephine Cox: Bumper Collection

‘I’ll do that,’ Danny answered with a cheerful grin. ‘And will you be all right, Emily?’ He always came back to her.

Emily gave him a grateful glance. ‘I’m fine, thank you, Danny,’ she answered. ‘Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be right behind you. Tell Grandad that for me, will you?’

Danny assured her he would. ‘So now, Cathleen me little darling, shall we go and say hello to your grandad, eh?’

‘Come on then!’ The child slid her hand into his. ‘Grandad’s waiting.’

Beaming, he allowed her to lead him away.

‘That man aches with love for you.’ Aggie never lost an opportunity to sing Danny’s praises.

‘I wish he wouldn’t,’ Emily answered. ‘I could never promise him anything.’

‘He’d wed you tomorrow, given the chance.’

‘I know that, and I’m flattered.’ Emily had a soft spot for Danny, but it wasn’t love and never could be.

Aggie, though, refused to give up. ‘He’s a good man.’

‘I know that too, Mam. But it doesn’t mean I have to marry him.’

Keeping her face to the window, Aggie dipped a plate into the hot water. ‘Love isn’t everything, lass,’ she said, scrubbing the plate until it shone.

Emily took the clean plate and wiped it over with her cloth. ‘Why do you say that?’

‘Because it’s true.’

‘You and Dad loved each other.’

‘Yes, and look what happened!’ There was anger in her now.

Keeping her voice down so as not to let anyone else hear, Aggie turned to her. ‘I gave him years of pampering. I worked alongside him, out there in all weathers. By! There were times when I were so tired and weary I thought I’d fall down on the spot, but I kept going, and when the day’s work was done, I’d wash his clothes and cook his meal, and give him all the loving a woman normally gives her husband.’

Turning away, she shook the water from her hands and wiped them dry. ‘After all that, he ran off and left me, when I needed him most.’ Looking Emily in the eye, she warned her, ‘You should never set too much store by love. There are more important things in life, such as security and contentment.’ Wagging an angry finger she finished, ‘You’d do well to remember that, my girl.’

She would have walked away, but Emily blocked her path. ‘You still love Dad though.’

‘Who says so?’

‘I do. Don’t deny it, Mam. You’d have him back tomorrow, wouldn’t you?’

‘Aye, lass, I would.’ The whisper of a smile touched Aggie’s mouth. ‘But that’s only because I’m a silly old fool who should know better.’

‘I must be a silly fool too, because that’s how I feel about John. I don’t love Danny in that way, Mam.’

Aggie was humbled, but hopeful for the child’s sake. ‘Aw, lass. Are you absolutely certain you and he couldn’t make a go of it?’

Emily gave an honest reply. ‘If I really thought John was never coming back, I dare say we could. But it wouldn’t be fair on him.’

‘And you’ve told him that, have you?’

‘Time and again. He knows how I feel, but he still wants to wed me.’

‘For the child’s sake if not your own, why don’t you just say yes?’

‘Is that what you want, Mam?’

‘Oh, lass! It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s your life and as far as I can see, you’ve got two choices.’

Emily gave a sorry little smile. She knew the choices only too well, for hadn’t she agonised these past years, and didn’t she always come up with the same empty hope; that there was still time for John to realise he’d made a mistake and come home. The trouble was, time had run out so quickly, and with every day that passed, she dreaded the questions Cathleen was soon bound to ask.

Aggie went on, ‘You can wait for John, and drive Danny away, so then you’ll be on your own. The years will pass and you’ll get lonelier and lonelier, and you might still not see hide nor hair of John Hanley. You’ll have denied Cathleen the opportunity of having a father, and mebbe brothers and sisters, and as for yourself – well, it’ll be awful hard, lass, because you’ll need to be both parents at once. There’ll be no companion, and no man there for you, not if you keep saving yourself for something that may never happen.’

Emily stopped her. ‘I know all this, Mam,’ she told her. ‘I’ve thought of nothing else.’

Aggie persisted. ‘The second choice and by my reckoning far the best option, is to accept Danny’s offer of marriage. Think of it, lass. You’ll have a home, and a husband who’ll cherish you.’

She then gave Emily a deliberate shock. ‘There’s summat else you need to think of, lass, and it’s this.’ Holding Emily’s questioning gaze, she informed her quietly, ‘There will come a time when me and your grandad are no longer here for you, lass.’

Emily’s heart turned over. She had never envisaged a life without her mother and it shook her to the core. ‘Please, Mam. Don’t talk like that.’

Aggie continued regardless. ‘I’m only saying what’s true. Hard though it may be, these things need to be considered. Besides, you owe it to yourself and the child to marry a good man, to make a home that will last. Be grateful and content that somebody loves you enough to keep pestering you, even though time and again you tell him no. There’s a good chance that if you keep turning him away, he might just meet a young woman who values him enough to say yes – and then where will you be, eh? I’ll tell yer.’

She was in full swing now. ‘You’ll be all on yer own, with a child to raise, with all the worries and decisions that go with it, and you won’t be able to sit down of an evening and talk it over with your husband because there’ll only be you. Is that what you really want, lass, and all because you can’t put John out of your mind – a man who cared so little for you, he went away and set up with some other woman?’

In her heart of hearts, Emily knew that everything her mother said was true. She had known it all along, yet had pushed it from her mind. Instead of listening to her head she had been listening to her heart.

Now though, in the wake of her mother’s outburst, she was forced to ask herself some harsh questions. Was she being selfish? Should she forget about John and settle for Danny? As a mother, shouldn’t she be putting Cathleen first? But no less important: could she bear to live with a man who she couldn’t really love? When he put his arms round her in bed of a night, how would she feel?

She considered all these things, and what came out as being most important was the child. After all, just like her mam said, Cathleen needed a father, and she already loved Danny in that way. But wasn’t it ironic, that the same man who to her mind had driven John away and defiled her that day in the barn, was now ruling her life as never before, through that same innocent child?

On top of all that, Emily now forced herself to consider what John had done to her. How could he ever have really loved her, to do a thing like that?

‘You keep thinking on it, lass.’ Aggie saw how deep in thought her daughter was, and it gave her little pleasure to have pointed out what was necessary. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve been brutal in what I said, but I only want you to do what’s right, for both you and the child.’

Having said her piece, Aggie busied herself, making the old man a brew. She then wiped down the pot-sink and put away the crockery. ‘You’d best go up and see Grandad now,’ she suggested. ‘Like as not he’ll be waiting for this.’

She gave the filled cup with saucer to Emily, together with a fond word or two. ‘Look, lass, I don’t hate John for what he did, though I wish it hadn’t happened. But it did. And it seems to me, whatever dreams you and he had together are over now. He’s carved out a life for himself, and to my mind, you need to do the same.’

‘I’m not ready yet, Mam.’ She sighed from deep down. ‘Maybe I never will be.’

‘Time will tell.’ Aggie’s heart dipped. She knew how turning your back on the man you cherished was not an easy thing for any woman. ‘You know I love you, don’t you, lass?’

Emily nodded. That much she had never doubted.

Aggie gave her a gentle nudge. ‘Go on then. Take that up to Grandad.’

Upstairs, while Cathleen played at the window with her rag-doll, the old man and Danny were catching up on events. ‘He strides round this place as if he owns it!’ The old man had fire in his eyes. ‘By! If I were a younger, fitter man, I’d have him down yon lane so fast his feet wouldn’t touch the ground!’