A Marriage On Paper

‘Have you ever been serious about any of your girlfriends, Dex?’ she had asked suddenly.

His expression had changed. ‘I was engaged once…years ago.’

‘She must have been very special.’

‘She was.’ For a moment he’d been quiet, as if far away. ‘Clare and I were childhood sweethearts. We were the same age, grew up together, graduated from university together. I knew from a very young age that one day I would ask her to be my wife.’

Alicia remembered feeling hurt for a while. It was all right Dex telling her he didn’t want to get serious; she could accept that. She enjoyed their relationship, loved being with him. She was happy with the way things were—after all, she had Vicky to think about. But finding out that Dex had been in love once, had asked that woman to marry him, had made her feel disconsolate, made her wish that she could stir up such powerful emotions within him.

‘So what happened? Why didn’t you marry her?’

‘She died in a car crash on her twenty-third birthday. The morning we were to be married.’

The words had been simply said, with little emotion, yet the expression for one unguarded moment in the darkness of his eyes had been one Alicia would never forget. Her momentary pang of jealousy had melted into compassion. She knew what it was like to lose someone you loved.

‘These days I want to put all my commitment into my business,’ Dex had continued rapidly, as if speaking about work helped to chase the emotional shadows away from his mind. ‘Push my career to the limits, and play the stakes to the highest possible levels. If I had a wife and responsibilities I couldn’t take those kind of risks.’

She had gone along with him. ‘I can understand that. I don’t want to get married either. I’m twenty, Dex…I want a career and travel, success and excitement…’

She had meant those words at the time, but they echoed mockingly in her mind now.

Vicky cleared away all her books as if she was beating the clock, dumped them in her bag and headed for her room. ‘I’m just going to make a phone call,’ she muttered over her shoulder to Alicia.

Alicia looked across at Dex. He was still wearing the suit he had worn to the office today, she noted. Had he come straight from his meeting with Maddie? If so it had been a hell of a long meeting.

He met her eyes.

‘You realise that you’re a know-it-all,’ she told him lightly.

‘I prefer it when you call me a genius,’ he said with a grin.

She grinned back at him. ‘How did your meeting go, genius?’

‘Couldn’t have been better.’

‘Would you like a glass of wine to celebrate, instead of that coffee?’

‘No, thanks. I’ve already had a glass of champagne, and I’ve got to drive home.’

She very nearly said, No, you haven’t. You can stay here. But she stopped herself. It didn’t sound as if he wanted to stay. ‘It must have been a terrific outcome if you celebrated with champagne?’

‘Nothing is signed yet,’ he answered cautiously. ‘But I’m quietly confident. I have to go to Perth week after next—meet some of Maddie’s associates. I’m hoping to sign a deal while I’m there.’

‘Really?’ Alicia tried to sound pleased for him.

He nodded. ‘I’ll be relying on you to hold the fort here for me.’

She didn’t say anything.

Dex frowned suddenly. ‘Are you OK, Alicia? You look very pale.’

‘I’m fine. Just tired.’ She got up and went to pour her coffee down the sink. Then stopped with her back to him. What was she saying? She wasn’t fine at all. For a start her hormones were up the creek, she had never felt so over-emotional. She needed to talk to him. She had to tell him before she fell apart.

She turned and looked at him.

‘Dex, I have something to tell you.’ The words seemed to come out in a terrible rush.

‘It’s not about the modelling, is it?’ His voice was suddenly wary.

‘Modelling?’ She stared at him taken aback by the question.

‘Peter came in to see me this morning. Early, before you arrived.’

Alicia frowned. Peter Blake was one of her closest friends. In a way he was like the big brother she had never had. He was two years her senior and had grown up in the same orphanage as she had. He was a talented photographer now, had made a big name for himself taking terrific shots of the Queensland scenery.

‘He told me about the photographs he had taken of you,’ Dex continued. ‘In fact he brought them in to show me.’

‘Oh!’ She was surprised that Peter had done that behind her back. She had already told him that she wasn’t interested in taking up modelling.

‘They were beautiful,’ Dex said softly. ‘I was impressed.’

‘Were you?’ She smiled, embarrassed and flattered by that look in his eye, by that husky quality in his voice.

‘He told me that he had sent them to some big agency in Sydney and they were very interested in you. Then he accused me of standing in your way, obstructing your road to a rewarding career.’ His voice held an unusually harsh note. ‘I told him that you hadn’t even mentioned the offer to me, but I don’t think he believed me. Even if he did, he still continued to inform me that I was holding you back.’

‘That’s just rubbish.’ Alicia pulled away from the sink and went to stand by the table. ‘He had no right to talk to you like that.’

‘Are you going to take up the offer? Go to Sydney?’

‘No.’ She was annoyed with Peter for mentioning this to Dex. She had told him last week, when he had hot-footed over with the news, that she wasn’t interested in leaving here. Modelling was hardly a secure job; not many girls made it to the big time. Maybe if she’d been sixteen she would have stood a better chance, but not at twenty. Anyway, that was all immaterial now.

‘Why not?’

She hesitated. ‘For one thing it’s not a good time to uproot Vicky. She’s studying for exams.’

‘And you want her to have all the opportunities you never had, don’t you, Alli?’ he asked gently.

‘I want her to do well.’ Alicia shrugged.

‘There are good schools and great universities in Sydney, you know.’

She stared at him. ‘Do you want me to go?’

There was a moment’s silence, and it suddenly occurred to her that he thought she should take up the offer. Her heart pounded painfully.

He looked at her, and thought again about how young she was. ‘I want you to do well, be happy,’ he said softly. ‘You know how ambitious I am, how I’m putting all my energy into my career. I’d be a hypocrite if I said that’s OK for me but not for you. If you want something you should go out there and get it. I wouldn’t want to stand in your way…if it’s what you want….’ He trailed off and shrugged.

It wasn’t what she wanted. She hadn’t even given it serious thought. Not because of Vicky, not because she was expecting Dex’s baby, but because she couldn’t bear to leave him. She loved him with all her heart.