Making Divorce Work: In 9 Easy Steps

Angela Coulthard

This letter is typical of many that I have received and highlights an alarming case of Happy Parent, Why Not Me? Syndrome. Angela, if you’re reading this (I didn’t reply), please don’t despair, I’m about to show you that you’re not alone and that there are steps you can take to escape this jungle of contentment. She points out that she doesn’t come from “a broken home”; that’s OK, it doesn’t matter. I myself am not the product of a broken home but that didn’t stop me from producing one. It’s all part of HPWNMS; here’s some background:

Sufferers of HPWNMS find themselves increasingly marginalized in today’s society All around they see images of parental discord: in the newspapers, on the radio, on the soap operas, families split up and torn asunder, tears, anger and recrimination. Vows broken, promises forgotten, irons thrown; at home they see nothing of the sort. It is said that people watch the soaps for many reasons, not least to see themselves reflected on the screen, to see their lives writ large. In the old days this was possible. Think of the idyllic family set-up portrayed in The Waltons, Little House on the Prairie, even Upstairs Downstairs with its now outdated class-ridden hierarchical household, nevertheless showed people basically getting on, up to a point. This gave the unhappy in society something to aspire to and the happy something to identify with. Nowadays the television is a constant source of conflict, from Albert Square to The Rovers Return, even genuinely groundbreaking television programmes like Changing Rooms often end in a furious bust-up.

It is easy to see how the happy child of happy parents can begin to experience feelings of alienation and unease, made all the worse by the fact that these feelings are occurring while the person is happy. Therefore adding confusion to the list of problems. So what can be done for these people? Some would say that they should see their situation for what it is, something to be proud of