Hard to Love

‘For starters, we need to make getting some pussy priority number one.’

I shook my head, not about to explain to him that tomorrow I’d be getting plenty of that on set. And with that bill hanging over my head, I sure as shit needed to perform this time.

Ian tipped his head toward a booth across the room. ‘And I think you’re in luck, bro. Those girls over there are staring at you.’

I turned from the bar, drawing my beer up to my lips as I scanned the room. With a jolt of surprise, I spotted the pretty little nurse from the other night, seated in a booth with a couple of friends.

What the hell?

The other woman at the table waved me over.

‘Do you know them?’ he asked.

‘Yeah. Sorta.’ I threw a few bills on the counter and told Ian I’d see him later. I sauntered over to where they sat.

‘Hey there, sexy,’ Alexa’s friend said, trailing her fingers down my forearm. ‘Saw your website. That shit was hot.’

My eyes flew to Alexa’s. She’d told her friends about what I did? And what… Googled me? ‘Alexa?’

She blushed and bit her bottom lip. ‘Hi Cade.’

She wasn’t even going to deny it? I supposed I had to get used to the fact that pictures of my cock were splashed all over the Internet, and that videos would soon follow. I had a film shoot tomorrow that I had to get through. I’d given Rick a piece of my mind about hiring girls that looked so young, and he promised he’d pair me with Mollie, an experienced pro I was sure to love, if I gave it another shot.

‘Have a seat, Cade. Or is it Sebastian?’ Alexa’s friend asked. ‘I’m MacKenzie by the way, and this is Tyson.’ She motioned to the guy seated with them. He gave me a weak smile, looking just as uncomfortable as I was.

I remained standing. ‘Call me Cade.’

Alexa’s gaze travelled down the length of my chest and stomach, stopping just below my belt buckle. I couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at my mouth, and she knew she had just been caught. She let out a huff of breath, folded her arms on the table and lay her head down to rest.

‘Is she drunk?’ I slid in next to her.

MacKenzie nodded, proudly. ‘Yep. It’s her twenty-first birthday.’

‘Happy birthday.’

Alexa peeked one eye open and looked up at me. ‘Thanks,’ she grumbled before letting her eyes fall closed again.

‘Perfect timing,’ MacKenzie said, leaning forward on her elbows. ‘We were just discussing Lex’s birthday present.’

Alexa roused from her sleepy state and slapped a hand over MacKenzie’s mouth. ‘No, Kenz.’

MacKenzie dutifully removed Alexa’s hand and squeezed it, before placing it on the table. ‘Hush. You should be thanking me right now. You see, Alexa here is a virgin, and what better birthday present than to lose her virginity to someone skilled at giving female pleasure? I mean, you do this for a living.’ She kicked up an eyebrow. ‘Right?’

I pulled back a swig of my beer. Was she fucking kidding me? ‘Well, yeah, I might know a thing or two about that…’ I took another mouthful from my bottle to shut myself up. I mean, sure, nobody had ever complained before, but that didn’t mean I was the hotshot porn star they saw on the website. Except they all thought I was. Hell.

Alexa looked up and met my gaze, her eyes wide with curiosity. Christ. She couldn’t look at me like that, or I wasn’t going to be able to hold it together.

Even though I believed it, I had a hard time understanding how she could still be a virgin on her twenty-first birthday. She was beautiful, pure and innocent. Her hair flowed in soft curls over her shoulders, resting just at the top of her full breasts. She was fucking perfection, and she didn’t even know it. Her skin looked so soft, I wanted to reach across the table and stroke my thumb along her cheek just to prove to myself that it couldn’t possibly be as soft as it looked. I settled instead for taking another drink. At this rate, I was going to need another beer really soon.

MacKenzie raised her glass in the air, as if to toast herself. ‘Best idea ever!’ She signaled the waitress and asked for a round of shots for the table. ‘Patron okay?’

I nodded my indifference. Mostly I just wanted to know what Alexa was thinking right at that moment and what exactly she had told her friends about me.

The shots arrived and I took the glass from Alexa’s fumbling fingertips. ‘No more for you, cupcake.’ I downed both my shot and hers, one after the other, the liquor burning on its way down.

She pouted, and took a sip of the water I pushed in front of her. But as we watched each other, her lips parted and her breaths grew faster. She leaned forward in interest, a shaky smile on her lips that grew bolder with each passing second. A bark of laughter from her friend Tyson surprised us all. ‘Are you fucking kidding me? This guy? No. Alexa, if you’re really going to do this, it should be me. Not some guy you don’t even know, who probably has God-knows-what kind of diseases.’

Alexa swallowed visibly. As insane as this idea was, it was her decision. I forced my mouth shut, and kept my face composed. A low wave of nerves rolling through my stomach told me I wanted this—I wanted her—more than I had any right to.

‘Okay,’ she squeaked. ‘Just let me think.’ She pressed her fingers to her temples.

An unexpected surge of protectiveness sprung up inside me, and I found myself holding my breath.

MacKenzie shook her head. ‘Lex, please, please, I beg of you, on behalf of women everywhere. Have hot, kinky sex with the porn star. Tyson will always be around.’ She waved in his direction and he narrowed his eyes at her.

One thing was clear as day to me. Tyson had feelings for her. Real feelings. I should probably stop cock-blocking the poor bastard, but the look in Alexa’s eyes told me she didn’t return his feelings. Not one bit. Her eyes wandered down my chest again and she bit her lip. Her cheeks flushed pink. She was growing turned on by just the thought of being with me. Fuck, I was going to get hard right here if she didn’t stop looking at me like that.

Tyson set his drink down. ‘Come on, Lex, this isn’t you. You play things safe. You’re not going to do…him’ he tipped his head toward me ‘and we all know it.’

She frowned and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, considering his words. ‘I’m sick of everyone thinking I’m Miss Goody Two-shoes, with my perfect grades, and days of the week panties. You know what? I have my Wednesdays on today—it’s Saturday—and that’s a pretty sad way of rebelling, huh?’

Days of the week? Damn, picturing her in her panties was doing nothing to tame my overactive libido.

‘Well forget that! I’m doing this.’ Alexa straightened her shoulders, which pushed her tits out. That little tank top she was wearing left very little to the imagination. And fuck it to hell, her nipples were hard. That protective surge I’d felt earlier was back, nagging at me more insistently. I would not stand back and let just anyone touch that pretty little pussy of hers. I’d kick Tyson’s ass to keep him away from her if I had to. Which wouldn’t be difficult, considering I was ready to knock his teeth in if he looked at her like that again.

‘Lex?’ Tyson asked, his voice soft and pleading.

Alexa’s eyes were back on mine, drinking me in. She just sat there blinking up at me, waiting expectantly. Oh fuck, I was going to hell.

‘Fuck it, I’ll do it myself,’ I growled.

Her swift intake of breath at my declaration made the hair on the back of my neck stand. I swallowed roughly. ‘But not tonight. You’ve had too much to drink.’

Her mouth dropped open in surprise.

‘Do you have a pen?’ I motioned to MacKenzie’s giant purse sitting on the table. She jumped into action, rooting around inside and seconds later, thrust a pen toward me. I reached across the table and turned over Alexa’s arm, brushing the soft flesh with my thumb. Her skin was as soft as I’d imagined, and the sensation stopped me in my tracks for a second. ‘If you still want to tomorrow, and I doubt you will, sweetheart, meet me here.’ I scribbled the address along her inner arm, tossed some bills on the table and left.

Chapter 4 (#ua4832c62-98fc-50c9-a4cd-5d8f13eac78a)

Alexa

‘Alexa.’ My mother’s disapproving tone demanded my attention. She tapped a red lacquered nail against the table. ‘You look a mess. I hope your night out with your friends was worth it.’

I straightened the sundress around my knees, and shifted in my seat. Though my memories of the night before were somewhat foggy, a slow smile crossed my lips. It was everything a twenty-first birthday was supposed to be. And this morning, I’d had the hangover from hell to prove it.

She dug through her purse, offering me a compact. ‘You need some concealer.’ The only thing my mother criticized more than my poor manners were my looks, and though applying makeup in public would have typically earned me an exasperated sigh, apparently things were dreadful enough that immediate intervention was warranted. That and I guess being tucked back in the tall booth of a dim restaurant wasn’t exactly public.

I took her compact and flipped it open, inspecting my appearance. There were dark circles under my eyes, and my hair hung limply around my face since I hadn’t had time this morning to dry it. I twisted it into a low, loose bun and secured it with a few pins dug from the bottom of my purse. Then I swiped some of the concealer under my eyes until I was satisfied it was the best I could do.