The Secret Mother

As she stood, dazed and dumb, he suggested smoothly, ‘Now we’ve established that you don’t need the glasses, perhaps you’d care to take them off? It seems a shame to hide such beautiful eyes.’ The last was added with a certain bite, as though he didn’t intend it as a compliment.

Unable to think of a reason for refusing, Caroline took off the glasses and slipped them into her bag, trying not to meet his glance in case he should see all too clearly what she was thinking, feeling.

He opened the door and, a hand at her waist, ushered her across the well-furnished hall and into the living-room.

From the first moment they had met his impact had been stunning, and now his touch—light and impersonal though it was—proved to be devastating, trapping the breath in her throat, making her heart lurch drunkenly and her pulse begin to race with suffocating speed.

Despite its open-plan vastness and elegance, Matthew’s apartment had a homely, lived-in air. Several toys lay scattered on the Aubusson carpet, and a wooden rocking horse, ridden by a large, floppy rag doll with yellow plaits, stood in front of the long windows.

‘The playroom and nursery are this way.’ They went through a wide arch and across a second hallway. ‘And these rooms will be yours if you take the job.’ He threw open a pair of polished doors and showed her around.

Fitted with every mod-con, and beautifully furnished, the suite—sitting-room, bedroom, bathroom and kitchenette—was more than comfortable. It was downright luxurious.

She would have taken the job if it had been a ratinfested dungeon. But everything depended on whether Caitlin showed any signs of liking her.

Feeling a kind of dull hopelessness, Caroline wondered how anyone could expect a child of that tender age—a child who had already had one nanny she didn’t like—to take to a woman who was a total stranger?

‘Now if you’d like to come and meet Caitlin...’

Turning, Matthew led the way to a large, airy kitchen, where Mrs Monaghan was keeping an eye on her charge while making the morning coffee.

Dressed in a long-sleeved cotton shirt and brightly coloured dungarees, the child was busily engaged in tucking a doll into a pram. Looking up at their entrance, she came running over to Matthew and threw her arms around his legs.

Rumpling her dark silky hair, he said, ‘I’d like you to say hello to Miss Smith.’ Then, in a conspiratorial whisper he added, ‘If we’re both very nice to her, she may come and live with us and look after you.’

As Caitlin released her hold and turned to stare solemnly at the newcomer Caroline went down on her haunches. Her heart feeling as though it might burst, she smiled shakily at the little girl.

She was a beautiful and dainty child, her skin with the bloom of a peach, her dimpled cheeks still babyish, her long-lashed eyes an exquisite blue-green.

For long moments they looked at each other without speaking. Then in a clear, childish treble, Caitlin asked, ‘Do you want to come and look after me?’

Caroline found her voice and said huskily, ‘I certainly do. You see, I’ve been looking after two little girls who have to go away, and it would be lovely to have another little girl to take care of.’

After considering this for a second or two, Caitlin turned and trotted away, to return almost immediately with a large brown bear wearing a red and green striped scarf and a pugnacious expression on his heavy-jowled face.

‘This is Barnaby.’ She thrust the bear into Caroline’s arms.

‘Well, hello, Barnaby.’

‘He’s a boy.’

‘And a bear of character, I can see. Would he mind if I hugged him?’

Leaning against Caroline’s knee, Caitlin confided, ‘He likes to be hugged.’

‘He also likes a mid-morning nap,’ Matthew suggested, with a glance at his housekeeper.

‘Well, come along, me darlings.’ Mrs Monaghan obediently gathered up the child and the bear. “Time for a little sleep.’

As the trio departed Matthew put a hand beneath Caroline’s elbow and helped her to her feet.

‘Thank you.’ Trying to hide her desolation, she added.

‘I’d hoped to have a little more time with Caitlin.’

‘You’ll have plenty of time with her once you’ve moved in.’

Hardly daring to believe her ears, with a wildly beating heart, she asked, ‘You mean...?’

‘I mean Caitlin liked you.’

‘How can you tell?’

Just for a second his green-gold eyes warmed into laughter. ‘Only the people she really likes get to meet Barnaby. So, if you want the job...?’

Filled with joy and excitement, she breathed, ‘Yes... Yes, I do.’

‘Then as soon as we’ve had some coffee I’ll drive you over to the Amesburys’ to pick up your things. That way you’ll have the afternoon and evening to settle in before you start work tomorrow morning.’

After so much heartbreak, Caroline could hardly believe her good fortune. But even as she rejoiced the voice of caution warned that she mustn’t let gladness blind her to the danger of being here.

Every minute spent in Matthew’s company added to the risk of betraying herself, so she must stay out of his way as much as possible, and pray that he never suspected who she really was.

CHAPTER TWO

CAROLINE finished tucking Caitlin and Barnaby into bed and said softly, ‘Goodnight and God bless.’

‘Is Daddy home yet?’

Matthew, who had been away on a business trip for almost two weeks, was due back tonight, just in time for Christmas.

‘No. he won’t be home until quite late. But if you go to sleep like a good girl, when he gets here I’ll ask him to come in and give you a kiss.’

‘Tell me the toad story?’ Caitlin pleaded. She was getting tired, and her long silky lashes kept drooping.

Heart melting with love, Caroline agreed. ‘All right, if you close your eyes while you listen.’

Obediently the child’s bright eyes closed, and a small thumb went into her mouth.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, in the pool of golden light cast by the bunny lamp, Caroline began the fairy story that during the last month had become Caitlin’s favourite.

‘Once upon a time there was a handsome prince...’

‘What was he called?’

‘He was called Matthew...’

This part had become a familiar routine, with the same question, the same answer, and the same giggles because, on the first occasion, when Caroline had asked, ‘What do you think he was called?’ Caitlin had unhesitatingly chosen the name Matthew.