The Secret Mother

‘Yes, I’d planned to take her. Why? Do you want the whole day off?’

‘No. I—I just wondered.’

Getting to her feet, doing her best to hide her disappointment, Caroline cleared away the first course and, when he shook his head at the chocolate tart, reached for the pot of coffee.

As she filled both their cups he asked idly, ‘Have you any plans for the festive season?’

‘No.’

‘Good. I’m intending to spend Christmas away from home...’

Though she knew it was unwise, to say the least, Caroline had hoped to see at least something of Matthew over the holiday. Now, despite the pleasure being with the child would bring, disappointment made her voice a little flat as she said, ‘So you want me to stay here with Caitlin?’

‘No, I want you both to come upstate with me. I own a country club and health spa on Clear Lake.’

Caroline went icy cold with shock, as though every drop of warm blood had drained from her body.

‘Have you ever been to a health spa?’

‘No... I—I know nothing about such places.’

‘Then it’s high time you did. Can you swim?’

Panic-stricken, she lied, ‘No.’

‘Then this will be an ideal opportunity to have some expert tuition.’

But the idea of going back to Clear Lake, where she’d once been so rapturously happy, filled her with a bleak anguish.

He picked it up instantly. ‘You don’t seem to like the idea?’

She voiced the only protest she could think of. ‘But you’re paying me to look after Caitlin, not learn how to swim.’

‘By next year Caitlin should be swimming well herself, and it will be useful if you’re already experienced and can accompany her.’

He was talking about next year as if he expected her to still be here. Caroline warmed herself with the thought, before objecting, ‘But someone would have to look after her while I—’

“‘Someone” will. The spa is family orientated. As well as a highly trained staff we have a number of experienced nursemaids and a babysitting service. Last year we started to run a special nursery and a toddler’s activity centre. It keeps the younger children engaged and happy and allows parents to give their nannies a holiday—’ he gave her a mocking glance ‘—white they do their own thing.

‘The scheme was my suggestion, and I’d like to try it out first-hand.’ Smoothly sarcastic, he added, ‘That is, unless you have any objections?’

The very last thing she wanted to do was accompany Matthew to Clear Lake, but he employed her, and she could hardly refuse to go.

After watching the changing expressions flit across her face, he queried, ‘Well?’

She shook her head. ‘No, I haven’t any objections.’

‘Good, then that’s settled. Can you be ready to go straight after the party tomorrow? Caitlin is at an age where sitting in a car can be boring, but if we travel up during the evening, she’ll probably sleep most of the way.’

When, late afternoon the following day, they left New York City, fresh snow had been falling for almost an hour. White and clean and crisp, it covered the sidewalks, clung to lampposts and buildings, and formed pointed caps on each set of red and green traffic lights.

But the main routes upstate were clear, and their journey, north through the snowy evening in the big four-wheel drive that Matthew had taken in place of his usual Jaguar was trouble-free and comfortable.

As he had foreseen, Caitlin, who had been bathed and changed and tucked into a cosy sleeping-bag, slept soundly, and for the first few miles only the shush of the tyres and the swish of the wiper blades broke the silence.

Caroline watched the swirling flakes without really seeing them, her thoughts on that afternoon’s birthday party.

She had dressed Caitlin in the special party frock and matching ribbons she herself had bought that morning, and when Matthew, who had come through to collect the child, had said merely, ‘My, don’t you look pretty,’ she had experienced a surge of relief.

‘Can Caro come with us?’ Caitlin asked.

His head came up and, sounding annoyed, he asked, ‘Why does she call you Caro?’

‘I suggested it,’ Caroline admitted.

‘Wouldn’t Nanny have been more appropriate?’

Caroline swallowed. ‘I thought she might have called her grandmother that...some children do...’

‘Can she come, Daddy?’ Caitlin persisted.

‘Would you like her to?’

The child nodded vigorously.

His green gaze on Caroline’s face, Matthew queried. ‘Have you anything better to do?’

‘No, I’d love to come,’ she said eagerly.

Too eagerly, she’d realised later, but she had been so delighted to get the chance to go, she had forgotten to be cautious.

The party had proved a great success. Though if Caroline had known how often Matthew’s gaze had remained fixed on her rather than on Caitlin, she would have been alarmed.

But she was so taken up with watching the child, her heart in her eyes, that for her the only flaw had been the awful moment when one of the staff had referred to her as ‘Mrs Carran’, and she had seen the frozen look on Matthew’s face.

As though reading her thoughts, he broke the silence to ask a shade ironically, ‘So, did you enjoy the party?’

Warning herself to be careful this time, she answered casually, ‘Oh, yes. I’ve always liked children’s parties. Watching their expressions, the way they react, can be quite fascinating.’

‘I thought with so many youngsters to keep an eye on you might be sorry you went?’

‘Oh, no, I was happy to be there.’

‘Though perhaps you should have worn a uniform after all.’ There was a sudden bite to his voice. ‘The staff thought you were Caitlin’s mother.’

Feeling as though she’d been pierced through the heart, Caroline sat still and silent, gripped by a kind of dread, a fear of some impending blow.

But with a swift change of subject, he queried, ‘Have you ever been to Clear Lake before?’