Her Only Hero

She could hardly tell him that his family exhausted her. “Fine.” She gave him a meaningless smile and walked quickly to the steps, eager to put this evening behind her.

They went down the steps in silence, the warm spring night closing around them. The porch light cast a yellow glow on the walk, fading as they neared the car.

She swung the rear door open, struggling to find something polite and dismissive to say to Ryan.

“She is tired, isn’t she?” Ryan lowered Mandy to her booster seat and fastened the seatbelt carefully. He picked up the teddy bear. It looked tiny in his big hands as he tucked it against Mandy. “She’s almost asleep already,” he said softly.

Guilt flickered. “I shouldn’t have stayed so long. This was too much excitement for her.”

Ryan straightened, planting one hand against the car roof and looking at her questioningly. “Hey, I know we’re a noisy bunch, but we’re not that bad, are we?”

“I didn’t mean it that way.” She could feel the heat in her cheeks. She hadn’t intended her words as an insult. He should realize that.

“It looked to me as if Mandy had a good time. Sure you’re not overreacting a little?”

She stiffened. “If you’re saying I’m overprotective of my daughter—”

“Hey, relax. I wasn’t criticizing.” He glanced at Mandy, asleep now with the bear cuddled against her chin, safe in the cocoon of her car seat. “I’d probably feel exactly the same if I were Mandy’s parent.”

Her flicker of anger died. “Maybe I am a little too protective.” The fact that he’d agreed with her made it easier to admit. “I just—well, I know I’m all Mandy has, so I have to do it right. I guess I still haven’t figured out how to let her learn without getting hurt.”

“Maybe that’s impossible.” He leaned toward her a little, and she caught the fresh scent of soap on his skin, mingled with the heady aroma of lilacs from the huge old bushes that flanked the driveway. “I don’t know how my folks managed with the five of us, and then taking in my cousin Brendan, too. We were always getting hurt.”

“Your parents had each other to rely on.” Her thoughts flickered to Jason. She’d learned the hard way not to rely on him.

“Even with a ton of family around willing to give you free advice, it’s not always easy to know what to do.”

His serious expression startled her. She wasn’t used to seeing somber reflection from Ryan, and she’d guess most other people weren’t, either. He was always so laughing and relaxed that it was hard to remember that he probably had his dark moments, too.

“Have they been giving you advice about something?”

Somehow the dusk and quiet of the warm summer evening made it easier to ask the personal question. It was as if, for the moment at least, they were enclosed together, separate from the happy, noisy family group she knew was behind the wide windows.

He shook his head. “Actually, this time I haven’t let them in on it. Sometimes other people’s expectations get in the way of knowing what’s best for you.”

“Is it something you want to talk about?”

“Are you offering to listen?” He leaned a little closer, until she could almost feel his breath against her face.

Her heart lurched. It took an effort to speak evenly.

“After everything you’ve done for us, listening is a small repayment.”

“No repayment needed. But actually, I’m thinking of making a career change.”

That startled her. “Leave the fire department?” She’d imagine that would create a stir in the Flanagan family. They’d all seemed so proud of their position. Even Brendan, the minister, was the fire department chaplain, he’d told her.

“Not leave entirely, no. I’ve applied for a position with the arson squad. It’s run by the fire department here in Suffolk, rather than the police like it is some places, but it’s a separate branch.”

“Is that really such a change? You’d still be a firefighter in a way, wouldn’t you?”

“You heard my dad. He’s so proud that Seth and Terry and I are in his old squad.” He frowned, his dark brows creating a V. “He had a hard time adjusting when Gabe got hurt and couldn’t fight fire anymore, and then his heart attack took him off the line.”

“You don’t want to disappoint him.” She understood, only too well, and was surprised at the similarity to her own life. She’d gladly have gone into the construction business with her father, but her mother wouldn’t hear of it. “He’d want you to do what was right for you, wouldn’t he?”

Ryan’s smile flickered. “He thinks he already knows what that is.”

“And you’re not so sure anymore.”

“I never considered any other line of work.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m looking for a different challenge. Or maybe I’m just trying to get out from under my big brothers’ shadows.”

She didn’t know what to say. She’d always thought Ryan Flanagan one of those lucky beings who are born confident, laughing and sure of himself. Now it looked as if he had doubts, too.

She felt for him—a sudden empathy that startled and disturbed her. She didn’t want to feel for anyone but her daughter. She had far too much responsibility in her life right now to leave room for anything else.

Luckily he didn’t seem to expect an answer from her. He touched her arm lightly, and she felt the warmth of that touch right through the fabric of her sweater.

“Hey, I’ll work it out. But thanks for listening. I’ll be glad to return the favor, any time.”

She managed to smile, to nod. Ryan meant well, but she didn’t have any intention of sharing her inner thoughts with anyone, least of all him. He’d come too far into her life already.

Now what exactly was he doing back here again? Ryan didn’t have a good answer to that question as he approached Laura’s building the next day. If those moments with Laura by her car the night before had taught him anything, it was that she spelled danger to a man like him.

He ought to stay as far away as possible from Laura McKay, with her fierce sense of responsibility and her prickly determination to do everything herself. Instead here he was, putting his head in the front door that stood ajar, probably to air the place out.

“Anybody home?” He tapped on the frame.

Mandy’s head jerked up. Had she responded to the sound or the vibration? He wasn’t sure. She had a child’s toy broom and dustpan, and she’d obviously been mimicking her mother’s work.

“Hi, Mandy.”

She broke into a smile and carefully finger-spelled his name.

“Good job.”

“What’s a good job?” Laura came in from the kitchen, carrying a bucket. “Hi, Ryan.”

“Mandy finger-spelled my name when I came in.”

A smile blazed across Laura’s face. “That is a good job.” She set the bucket on the floor and hugged the little girl, and for a moment the love in her eyes seemed strong enough to light the world.

It was a warning, that love. It announced in no uncertain terms that he couldn’t wander into their lives and then wander out again. Laura and Mandy needed more than that.

I’m just helping out, he told his conscience firmly. Nothing else.

“You’re making progress.” He glanced around the large rectangular room that was cleared now of debris. The fireplace that covered most of one wall had obviously just been cleaned, revealing the mellow, rosy tone of the bricks.

“Not enough.” Laura followed the direction of his gaze, but her level brows drew down, as if she saw all that remained to be done instead of what she’d accomplished already. “The fire put me days behind my schedule.”