The Baby Sleep Book: How to help your baby to sleep and have a restful night

Sometimes in the middle of the night I would quickly offer her a breast or a “soothie” dummy and she would not fully wake up.

The trick is to never let him fully wake up and never let him cry. If he cries, he’s wide awake.

learn when to let sleeping babies lie

One of the most difficult lessons for new co-sleeping/breastfeeding mothers is to develop a balance between “I feed my baby at the first whimper” and “Oh, that’s just a normal sleep noise – she’ll go back to sleep by herself.” If you feed your baby right away, you will probably both get back to sleep sooner. Yet if you feed every time she awakens, you may end up with a baby who wants to feed all night long and doesn’t know any other way of falling back to sleep. You have to try to find the balance that works best for you and your baby. We’ll discuss this dilemma in detail in chapter 6 (#litres_trial_promo).

Keep it simple and quick. No middle-of-the-night entertainment, please. You’re there as a comforter, not a playmate. Nighttime is for sleeping, not for playing. If baby needs your help to resettle, try to do it quickly, calmly, and comfortably. Even though you’re tired – and perhaps angry – try what we dub the Caribbean approach – “no problem, baby”. If baby senses your anxiety and irritation, she is less likely to resettle. Try to resettle baby with a simple song or patting with your hands. If you need to pick up baby for a bit of swaying or rocking, don’t make the routine too interesting. Your goal is to lull her back to sleep.

Someday your child will find the promised land of sleeping through the night. Babies will wean! This high maintenance stage of nighttime parenting will pass. The time in your arms, at your breast, and in your bed is a relatively short while in the life of a baby, yet the memories of love and availability last forever.

your checklist of sleep tools

In helping your baby sleep happier, healthier, and longer, here’s a checklist of all the topics we covered in this chapter, or will cover in subsequent chapters:

Review sleep safety (page (#litres_trial_promo))

Juggle different sleeping arrangements to see where baby sleeps best (page (#litres_trial_promo))

Chart baby’s tired times (page (#ulink_c4e1a527-d30c-59d4-af92-f1ed472923b2))

Try a variety of sleep associations (pages (#u1cfff497-fc3b-4e67-b28d-355aca653f93))

Turn on sounds to sleep by (page (#ulink_4ecabf81-c098-5eb9-a20a-c95e62b9378d))

Try a loving touch (page (#ulink_9483aa34-a80b-52a6-bca6-d106b2ec6d51))

Offer a familiar scent (page (#ulink_e6ecd06d-dc36-5e5f-ad77-3f0af695f590))

Offer a dummy (page (#ulink_e6ecd06d-dc36-5e5f-ad77-3f0af695f590))

Try motion for sleep (page (#litres_trial_promo))

Try feeding baby partially to sleep (page (#ulink_855bb20b-90ba-547c-869a-4ff0dfd70589))

Teach baby back-to-sleep cues (page (#ulink_34550018-f111-57eb-96e4-74fc770367e3))

Enjoy bedtime rituals (page (#u1cfff497-fc3b-4e67-b28d-355aca653f93))

Enjoy feeding down (page (#ulink_ddf519c3-cea9-57ff-96b1-44a1c92967f0))

Try wearing down (page (#ulink_9483aa34-a80b-52a6-bca6-d106b2ec6d51))

Try fathering down (pages (#ulink_201e6ec7-3baf-528d-9dbf-22aef5540a18))

Try nestling down (page (#ulink_9483aa34-a80b-52a6-bca6-d106b2ec6d51))

Try patting down (page (#ulink_9483aa34-a80b-52a6-bca6-d106b2ec6d51))

Try walking/rocking down (page (#ulink_c3025b05-b06b-5b27-8bc3-b9ceed725e32))

Try swinging down (page (#ulink_c3025b05-b06b-5b27-8bc3-b9ceed725e32))

Offer a “cuddly”(page (#ulink_c3025b05-b06b-5b27-8bc3-b9ceed725e32))

Quiet the bedroom (page (#ulink_6c701ce5-c355-506c-9a6f-3cdbe5064b9b))

Quiet the house (page (#ulink_6c701ce5-c355-506c-9a6f-3cdbe5064b9b))

Darken the room (page (#ulink_6c701ce5-c355-506c-9a6f-3cdbe5064b9b))

Warm the bed (page (#ulink_6c701ce5-c355-506c-9a6f-3cdbe5064b9b))

Clear stuffy noses (page (#ulink_d83fd679-4cd7-5a6a-9010-dfea88d2bef9))

Fill tiny tummies (page (#ulink_b8beb694-3a06-556f-befa-3217933b08ca))

Swaddle baby (page (#ulink_b8beb694-3a06-556f-befa-3217933b08ca))

Create a comfortable bedroom temperature (page (#ulink_b8beb694-3a06-556f-befa-3217933b08ca))

Dress baby comfortably for sleep (page (#litres_trial_promo))

keep a sleep log (#ulink_1f7a32e2-3a50-5d67-92f2-8c8f2eaac490)

While most mothers would rather spend their free time resting than filling in charts, sleep logs can help in many ways. Charts give you a visual picture of your child’s individual 24-hour sleep patterns. You may be surprised that he sleeps more – or less – than you thought. Sleep logs help you spot problem times and track progress to see if your sleep strategies are working. When discussing your baby’s sleep concerns with your health visitor or GP, show him or her the sleep log and point out the problem areas that you’ve identified. In this way you can see at a glance your baby’s sleep patterns and where certain sleep strategies may be applied. Photocopy the sample sleep log on the next page. As you try all the sleep-inducing strategies described in chapters 1 (#uc7da03ba-d02b-5ef6-bacd-f1f9100a2dd4) and 2 (#u4dbb0c0c-8a13-5e57-87d8-604c0d6c0a77), fill in the sleep log as you chart your baby’s progress.

10 day sleep log

Directions: Colour black each hour of sleep including daytime naps. Mark ‡ for each time your baby wakes up. Mark F for each time you feed baby.

Comments: ______________________________________________

chapter 2 (#ulink_8367dd47-0449-553b-8470-565f0d399b23)

fifteen tips to help toddlers sleep (#ulink_8367dd47-0449-553b-8470-565f0d399b23)

The five steps to happy sleeping that we described in the previous chapter apply to toddlers as well as babies. Yet, as babies turn into toddlers, their nighttime needs change and parents need to learn more sleep strategies. Toddlers still need your presence at bedtime, and their bedtime rituals will reflect their need for closeness.

Sometime between two and three years of age, children begin to form conscious memories that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. What bedtime memories do you want your child to file away?

Sears’ Parenting Tip: As children learn to sleep, they learn to live.

what toddlers learn at bedtime (#ulink_782b990f-feae-5b87-bed7-fcbc537b6c00)

It’s good to have goals as a parent. When you know what you want for your children in the long term, it’s easier to do the things you have to do right now to reach that goal. So what are your sleep goals for your child? Two important sleep goals are:

Children should learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a peaceful state to stay in, and therefore develop healthy sleep habits.