Дживс, вы – гений! / Thank you, Jeeves!

“Isn’t there a sofa downstairs?”

“There is. Noah’s[64 - Noah’s – принадлежащая Ною]. He brought it ashore on Mount Ararat[65 - Mount Ararat – гора Арарат]. I shall be better off in the car.”

“Oh, Bertie, I am giving you a lot of trouble.”

I sighed. Love’s love.

“Don’t you worry. We Woosters are always ready to help poor lovers. You put your little head on the pillow and sleep. I shall be all right.”

And, so saying, I went down the stairs, opened the front door, and out into the scented night. Suddenly a heavy hand fell on my shoulder.

“Ouch!” I said.

It was Constable Dobson.

“I beg your pardon, sir. I thought you were the thief.”

“Quite all right, Constable. Quite all right. Just going for a stroll.”

“I understand, sir. Breath of air.”

“Yes. Exactly. A breath, as you astutely observe, of air.”

“Oh, yes, sir. Well, good night, sir.”

“Good night. Tra-la, Constable.”

I proceeded on my way. I had left the garage door open, and I went to my old car, glad to be alone again. I climbed into the car and.

A light suddenly flashed on the features and a voice instructed me to come out of the car.

“Ah, Sergeant!” I said.

Another awkward meeting.

“Is that you, sir?”

“Yes.”

“Sorry to have disturbed you, sir.”

“Not at all. I thought I’d try to get a bit of sleep in the old car, Sergeant.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Such a warm night.”

“Just so, sir.”

His voice was respectful, but there was something in his manner that gave me the idea that he considered Bertram eccentric.

“I often sleep in the car in the summertime.”

“Yes, sir?”

“Good night, Sergeant.”

“Good night, sir.”

I soon saw that all efforts in the direction of the restful night would be fruitless. I went out of the car and decided to sleep on the floor. It was smelling of mice and mould. But at the end of about half an hour a soothing drowsiness had begun to come to me.

And at the end of about thirty-five minutes the door flew open and there was the old, familiar lantern shining in again.

“Ah!” said Sergeant Voules.

And Constable Dobson said the same.

“Yes?” I said. “What is it now?”

“Is that you again, sir?” inquired the sergeant.

“Yes, it is, dash it! What, may I ask, does this mean? Sleep under these conditions becomes impossible.”

“Very sorry, sir. It never occurred to me that it could be you.”

“And why not?”

“Well, sleeping in a shed, sir—”

“You do not dispute the fact that it is my shed?”

“No, sir. But it seems funny.”

“I see nothing funny in it whatsoever. I have a right, have I not, to sleep where I please?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Exactly. It might be the coal cellar[66 - coal cellar – угольный подвал]. It might be the front door steps[67 - front door steps – крыльцо]. It happens to be this shed. I will now thank you, Sergeant, to withdraw.”

“Are you intending to remain here the rest of the night, sir?”

“Certainly. Why not?”

He was at a loss.[68 - He was at a loss. – Он растерялся.]

“Well, I suppose there’s no reason why you shouldn’t, if you want to, sir.”

I had had enough of this.