Дживс, вы – гений! / Thank you, Jeeves!

“Yes, really. I hate you. I wish I’d never met you. I think you’re a worse pig than any you’ve got up at that beastly house of yours.”

This interested me.

“I didn’t know you kept pigs, Chuffy.”

“Black Berkshires[75 - Black Berkshires – чёрные беркширские (порода свиней)],” he said absently. “Well, if that’s how you feel, well, all right.”

“My Uncle Henry—” I began.

“Bertie,” said Chuffy.

“Hallo?”

“I don’t want to hear about your Uncle Henry. I am not interested in your Uncle Henry. It will be all right with me if your damned Uncle Henry dies.”

“Too late, old man. He passed away three years ago. Pneumonia. I was only saying he kept pigs. It’s very profitable.”

“Will you stop—”

“Yes, and will you,” said Pauline. “Are you going to spend the night here? I wish you would leave me.”

“I will,” said Chuffy.

“Do,” said Pauline.

“Good night,” said Chuffy. “But one last word—”, he said with a wide, passionate gesture. His knuckles hit a projecting beam[76 - a projecting beam – балка], he danced in agony, overbalanced, and the next moment was on the ground floor.

Pauline Stoker ran to the banisters and looked over.

“Are you hurt?” she cried.

“Yes,” yelled Chuffy.

“Good,” cried Pauline.

She came back into the room.

10

Another Visitor

Pauline picked up her bathing suit.

“Go away, Bertie,” she said.

“But listen—”

“I want to change.”

“Change what?”

“Put on my swimming suit.”

“Why?”

“Because I am going to swim.”

“Swim?”

“Swim.”

I stared.

“You aren’t going back to the yacht?”

“I am going back to the yacht.”

“But I wanted to talk about Chuffy.”

“I never wish to hear his name mentioned again.”

“Oh, come!”

She looked at me.

“A girl and a bloke can say lots of things she or he doesn’t mean.”

“Oh? Well, let me tell you I meant every word I said. I told him I never wanted to speak to him again. I don’t. I told him I hated him. I do. I called him a pig. He is.”

“Aren’t you a bit hard?”

“Am I?”

“And rather rough on Chuffy?”

“Am I?”

“You wouldn’t say his attitude was excusable?”

“I would not.”

“I think it was a shock for the poor old chap, I mean, finding you here.”