Дживс, вы – гений! / Thank you, Jeeves!

I surveyed the mob. Old Stoker was glaring at me. Old Glossop was glaring at me. Young Dwight was staring at me. Only Pauline appeared to find no awkwardness in the situation. She was as cool as an oyster on the plate. She bounded forward, full of speech, and grabbed my hand warmly.

“Well, well, well! Old Colonel Wooster in person! To find you here, Bertie! I called you up in London, but they told me you had left.”

“Yes. I came down here.”

“I see you did. Well, sir, this has certainly made my day. You’re looking fine, Bertie. Don’t you think he’s looking lovely, father?”

Old Stoker made a noise like a pig swallowing half a cabbage. Sir Roderick had turned purple.

At this moment, however, the Lady Chuffnell came out. Before I knew where I was, the whole gang had gone indoors, and I was alone with Chuffy. He was staring at me.

“I didn’t know you knew these people, Bertie.”

“I met them in New York.”

“You saw Miss Stoker there?”

“A little.”

“Only a little?”

“Quite a little.”

“I thought her manner seemed rather warm.”

“Oh, no. About normal.”

“I thought you were great friends.”

“Oh, no. She talks like that with everyone.”

“She does?”

“Oh, yes. Big-hearted, you see.”

“She has got a delightful, impulsive, generous, spontaneous, genuine nature, hasn’t she?”

“Absolutely.”

“Beautiful girl, Bertie.”

“Oh, very.”

“And charming.”

“Oh, most.”

“In fact, attractive.”

“Oh, quite.”

“I saw her in London.”

“Yes?”

“We went to the Zoo and Madame Tussaud’s[48 - Madame Tussaud’s – музей восковых фигур Мадам Тюссо (в Лондоне)] together.”

“Tell me,” I said, “how do the prospects look?”

“Sometimes good. Sometimes not.”

“I see.”

“Uncertain.”

“I understand.”

“This Stoker makes me nervous. He’s friendly enough as a general rule, but at any moment he may fly off. You can’t tell me if there are any special subjects to avoid when talking to him, can you?”

“Special subjects?”

“Well, you know how it is with a stranger. You say it’s a fine day, and he goes all white and tense, because you’ve reminded him that it was on a fine day that his wife eloped with the chauffeur.”

I considered.

“Well, if I were you,” I said, “I wouldn’t harp too much on the topic of B. Wooster. He doesn’t like me.”

“Why not?”

“Just one of these unreasonable antipathies. And I was thinking, old man, it might be better if I didn’t join the throng at the luncheon table. You can tell your aunt I’ve got a headache.”

“Well, I’m glad you told me. You had better go away.”

“I will.”

“And I suppose I ought to join the others.”

He went indoors, and I went down the gravel. I was glad to be alone.

I am a man who can read faces. Chuffy’s expression, as he spoke of Pauline, showed that he was in love with her. Well, if it was so, it was all right with me. As far as I was concerned, Pauline Stoker could marry anyone she liked. I could still see that she was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever met, but of the ancient fire which had caused me to bung my heart at her feet[49 - to bung my heart at her feet – бросать своё сердце к её ногам] there remained not a trace.

Analysing this, if analysing is the word I want, I came to the conclusion that this was due to the fact that she was so dynamic. Pauline Stoker was one of those girls who want you to come and swim a mile before breakfast.

But Chuffy is very dynamic himself. He rides, swims, shoots, chivvies foxes with loud cries. He and this P. Stoker would make the perfect pair.

So when I saw Pauline coming out of the house and going to me, I greeted her. The last thing I really wanted was to be close with this girl. The first shock of meeting her was over, but I did not like the prospect of a heart-to-heart talk.

“How perfectly extraordinary finding you here, Bertie,” she began. “What are you doing in these parts[50 - in these parts – в этих краях]?”