The German Classics of the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries, Volume 07

I have that—and the Porto-Rican and Hungarian tobaccos as well. In fact, I'm having quite a good sort grown here in the Mark Brandenberg now.

HOTHAM

I fear I should have to decline trying that.

KING

Give me your hand, Baronet. Come to our conference tonight. We will wash down our diplomatic disagreement with a good drink of beer, and blue clouds of smoke from our pipes shall waft away all the intrigues, plots and counter-plots.

GRUMBKOW

But—Your Majesty, who is to furnish the source of amusement tonight?

HOTHAM

Will Your Majesty take me as the scapegoat?

KING

Oho, Baronet! it will be a hot skirmish. He who has been under fire from a dozen such old soldiers needs a week or two to recover from the experience.

HOTHAM (aside).

A pleasing fate indeed, to play the fox to such hounds!

KING

We'll find some one to be the central figure this evening. You must be among the laughers, and then you can tell us something of the cock-fights and the boxing-bouts in England. That sort of amusement pleases me mightily, and I would permit it to come into this country without excise or other duty. Very well, then, the Smoker is at eight o'clock. Your pardon for this queer audience of dismissal. Bring a brave thirst with you. For in the matter of drinking we pay no attention to the customary procedure.

[He goes out, followed by all except HOTHAM.]

SCENE IV

HOTHAM (alone).

Excellent! We adapt ourselves to circumstances and circumstances adapt themselves to us. Now for my letter to the Queen. [He sits down, takes a partly written letter from his portfolio and reads it.] "Exalted Lady: Your wish to see the Prince of Wales is a command for your devoted servant. Unless all plans should go awry I will have the honor to lead the Prince of Wales this very night into the presence of his Royal Aunt. He hopes not only for the happiness of pressing a kiss on Your Majesty's hand, but desires, with all the longing of an ardent heart, finally to look upon his dear affianced, the Princess Wilhelmine. Use all your power to free the Princess from her imprisonment for this evening." [He begins to write.] "I would suggest that you advise the Princess to wrap herself in a white domino. This disguise will carry her safely past the palace sentries." There—the young people can see each other again, can storm the fortress of the mother's heart, and can win for themselves the support of public opinion, as represented by the invited guests. [He seals the letter.] Now if I could find the Prince—Ah, there he is!

PRINCE (looking in cautiously).

Hotham, I've been looking for you everywhere. What do you think has just happened to me?

HOTHAM

Another Royal mission?

PRINCE

I can scarce believe it myself. Disconsolate, I was preparing for the journey, and stopped to cast one last look up to the windows behind which my beloved sits captive—a lackey of the King's suite approached me. I anticipated some new humiliation. But imagine my astonishment at the surprise in store for me. You know the value the King sets on his nightly smoking-bouts. He invites to these gatherings only persons for whom he has especial plans. Now picture my amazement when I learned that His Majesty begs me, before my departure tonight, to do him the pleasure to attend his Smoker!

HOTHAM

You have an invitation?

PRINCE

You're—you're laughing. [HOTHAM laughs heartily.] What are you laughing at?

HOTHAM

It's unspeakably comical.

PRINCE

Comical? I should consider it rather tragical, when a sovereign first humiliates us and then suddenly heaps amiabilities upon us. What is the matter with you.

HOTHAM

Stand up straight-breast thrown out—head up—hands at your side—no, more to the back—

PRINCE

What do you mean?

HOTHAM (pulling his hair).

Fine growth—fine strong growth.

PRINCE

What are you doing to my hair? And you're still laughing!

HOTHAM

As a consequence of a most droll diplomatic transaction, I also have been honored with an invitation to the Smoker. And that I may enjoy the true savor of the customary and, methinks, sometimes strongly realistic entertainment of such occasions, those in charge have bestirred themselves to find royal game for the baiting.

PRINCE

And I am to be—the game? This is too much! I will be there, Hotham; I will take my place humbly at the foot of the great table, but I warn you that my patience is exhausted. I will show them that I have weapons to parry the jibes of rough soldiers, weapons I have not yet brought into play. I will be there, I will listen with apparent calm to what they are planning to do to me—but then—then I will draw from my quiver! I will send arrow after arrow at this brutal despotism—and should the shafts be too weak to penetrate their leathern harness, then, Hotham, then out with my sword and at them!

HOTHAM

Bravo, Prince! Excellent! That's the right mood! That is the language one must use in this court. The hour draws near. It would take us too far a-field were I to detail my plans to you now. I will first dispatch this letter to the Queen. Then, as we set out for the Smoker—but I see you are in no mood for explanations. Cherish this noble anger, Prince! Rage as much as you will—snort like an angry tiger. [Takes him by the arm and leads him out.] More—more—heap it up—there, now you are ready to aid my plan, which is none other than to have you win the King by forcing him to respect you. [They go out.]

SCENE V

_A plain low-ceilinged room in the palace. The walls are gray. The main entrance is in the centre. One door at the left, a small window at the right.

Lackeys carry in an oaken table and place a number of wooden stools around it. Then they bring tankards on wooden platters and set them in a circle on the table. A brazier with live coals is also brought in. The lackeys go out.