Twelfth Night; or, What You Will

Vio. I will acquit you.

Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: Fare thee well!

[Exit Olivia.

Enter Sir Toby and Fabian.

Sir To. Gentleman, heaven save thee.

Vio. And you, sir.

Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly.

Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.

Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal.

Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he?

Sir To. He is knight, dubb'd with unhack'd rapier, and on carpet consideration: but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is his word; give 't or take 't.

Vio. I will return, and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter.

Sir To. Back you shall not, unless you undertake that with me, which with as much safety you might answer him: therefore, on; or strip your sword stark naked, (for meddle you must, that's certain,) or forswear to wear iron about you.

Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose.

Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return.

[Exit Sir Toby.

Vio. 'Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?

Fab. I know, the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more.

Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he?

Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria: Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can.

Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II

Olivia's Garden.

Enter Sir Toby, with Sir Andrew, in a great fright.

Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; —

Sir And. Oh!

Sir To. I have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, – rapier, scabbard, and all, – and he gives me the stuck-in, —

Sir And. Oh!

Sir To. With such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable: they say, he has been fencer to the Sophy.

Sir And. Plague on't, I'll not meddle with him.

Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder.

Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damn'd ere I had challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet.

Sir To. I'll make the motion: Stand here, make a good show on't. – [Aside.] Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.

Enter Fabian and Viola.

I have his horse [To Fabian.] to take up the quarrel; I have persuaded him, the youth's a devil.

Fab. [To Sir Toby.] He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants, as if a bear were at his heels.

Sir To. [To Viola.] There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for his oath sake: marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will not hurt you.

Vio. [Draws her Sword.] Pray heaven defend me! – [Aside.] A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man.

Fab. [To Viola.] Give ground, if you see him furious.

Sir To. Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you: he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to 't.

Sir And. [Draws.] Pray heaven, he keep his oath!

Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will.

[They fight.– Sir Toby and Fabian urge on Sir Andrew and Viola.

Enter Antonio, who runs between Sir Andrew and Viola.

Ant. Put up your sword; – If this young gentleman
Have done offence, I take the fault on me;
If you offend him, I for him defy you.

Sir To. You, sir? Why, what are you?

Ant. [Draws.] One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
Than you have heard him brag to you he will.