The History of Troilus and Cressida

there. There's no jesting; there's laying on; take't off who
will, as they say. There be hacks.
CRESSIDA. Be those with swords?
PANDARUS. Swords! anything, he cares not; an the devil come to
him,
it's all one. By God's lid, it does one's heart good. Yonder
comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.

PARIS passes

Look ye yonder, niece; is't not a gallant man too, is't not?
Why,
this is brave now. Who said he came hurt home to-day? He's
not
hurt. Why, this will do Helen's heart good now, ha! Would I
could
see Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon.

HELENUS passes

CRESSIDA. Who's that?
PANDARUS. That's Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That's
Helenus. I think he went not forth to-day. That's Helenus.
CRESSIDA. Can Helenus fight, uncle?
PANDARUS. Helenus! no. Yes, he'll fight indifferent well. I
marvel
where Troilus is. Hark! do you not hear the people cry
'Troilus'?
Helenus is a priest.
CRESSIDA. What sneaking fellow comes yonder?

TROILUS passes

PANDARUS. Where? yonder? That's Deiphobus. 'Tis Troilus.
There's a
man, niece. Hem! Brave Troilus, the prince of chivalry!
CRESSIDA. Peace, for shame, peace!
PANDARUS. Mark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon
him,
niece; look you how his sword is bloodied, and his helm more
hack'd than Hector's; and how he looks, and how he goes! O
admirable youth! he never saw three and twenty. Go thy way,
Troilus, go thy way. Had I a sister were a grace or a
daughter a
goddess, he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris?
Paris
is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to change, would give
an
eye to boot.
CRESSIDA. Here comes more.

Common soldiers pass

PANDARUS. Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran!
porridge after meat! I could live and die in the eyes of
Troilus.
Ne'er look, ne'er look; the eagles are gone. Crows and daws,
crows and daws! I had rather be such a man as Troilus than
Agamemnon and all Greece.
CRESSIDA. There is amongst the Greeks Achilles, a better man
than
Troilus.
PANDARUS. Achilles? A drayman, a porter, a very camel!
CRESSIDA. Well, well.
PANDARUS. Well, well! Why, have you any discretion? Have you
any
eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good
shape, discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue,
youth,
liberality, and such like, the spice and salt that season a
man?
CRESSIDA. Ay, a minc'd man; and then to be bak'd with no date
in
the pie, for then the man's date is out.
PANDARUS. You are such a woman! A man knows not at what ward
you
lie.
CRESSIDA. Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to
defend
my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine honesty; my mask,
to
defend my beauty; and you, to defend all these; and at all
these
wards I lie at, at a thousand watches.
PANDARUS. Say one of your watches.
CRESSIDA. Nay, I'll watch you for that; and that's one of the
chiefest of them too. If I cannot ward what I would not have
hit,
I can watch you for telling how I took the blow; unless it
swell
past hiding, and then it's past watching
PANDARUS. You are such another!

Enter TROILUS' BOY

BOY. Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you.
PANDARUS. Where?
BOY. At your own house; there he unarms him.
PANDARUS. Good boy, tell him I come. Exit
Boy