Nobody’s Son: All Alex ever wanted was a family of his own

‘No, I don’t suppose he has,’ I replied.

‘We’ll arrange lessons for him at the stables, then we can all ride together,’ Rosemary said. ‘James also has violin and cello lessons in the evening after school. Alex can choose which instruments he wants to learn.’

‘Wonderful,’ I said. ‘I see Alex is going to be a very accomplished young man.’

‘It’s lovely that he’ll be having so many opportunities,’ Lin said.

‘Although he will need time to settle in first,’ Jill put in. ‘There’ll be a lot of changes for him in the first few weeks, so don’t overload him.’ Which was what I’d been thinking.

‘No, I know,’ Rosemary said. ‘We’re just rather excited. We want to give him so much.’ Edward nodded.

‘He’s a lucky boy,’ I said, and Debbie, Lin and Jill agreed.

The last photograph was of their beautifully landscaped garden, which Jill and I admired. Although I wondered how the flowerbeds would stand up to the boys’ football practice. I closed the album and put it in my bag to show to Alex later.

‘Now to arrange the actual dates,’ Debbie said. ‘Cathy, you’ll start the introduction by showing Alex the album this evening and answering any questions he might have. Then on Saturday, Edward and Rosemary, you will visit Alex at Cathy’s house for about an hour. Shall we say eleven o’clock? Does that suit everyone?’

We all nodded and noted this in our diaries.

‘You’ve arranged for James to be looked after for this visit?’ Lin reminded Rosemary and Edward.

‘Yes. My mother will be sitting with him,’ Edward said. ‘Although James was very disappointed he wouldn’t be coming.’ Lin and Debbie would have explained to Rosemary and Edward that it is generally considered best if just the adoptive parents come on the first visit, otherwise it can be overwhelming for the child to meet too many new faces all at once. It also allows the parents to give the child their complete attention without the distraction of other family members.

‘James has only got to wait until Sunday to meet Alex,’ Lin pointed out.

‘Yes, so on Sunday,’ Debbie said, glancing at her notes. ‘Cathy will take Alex to his new home for his first visit. An hour is considered about right when everything is new.’

‘Will your parents be able to look after Paula and Adrian on Sunday?’ Jill quietly asked me. I, too, would be expected to give Alex my full attention for that first visit to his new home.

‘It’s not a problem. They are out with their father,’ I returned quietly. Then to the rest of the group I said, ‘Any time suits me.’

‘Shall we say eleven o’clock again?’ Debbie said.

‘Could we make it twelve?’ Edward asked. ‘So James and I can go for our bike ride first.’

‘Yes, sure.’

We all made a note of the time. ‘I’ll need the address,’ I said.

‘Yes, of course, sorry, Cathy,’ Lin said. ‘The details went to Alex’s previous carers.’

‘I’ll give you our card,’ Edward said. He took a business-style card from his wallet showing their home contact details and passed it to me.

‘Thank you,’ I said, and tucked it into the front of my diary.

We continued planning the timetable of introduction. On Monday evening Rosemary, Edward and James would telephone me to have a chat with Alex. Then on Tuesday they would all visit us after school and stay for tea. They would phone to speak to Alex on Wednesday, then on Thursday evening they would visit us again and take Alex out for something to eat. While they were all getting to know each other they’d be seeing each other every other day and speaking on the telephone on the days they didn’t see each other. If all was going well, I would take Alex to their house again on Friday evening and leave him for a while. Then on Saturday he’d stay for the day and overnight, and I’d collect him on Sunday morning. On Monday Lin and Debbie would telephone Rosemary and Edward and me for more feedback. Assuming Alex was still happy and coping well, I’d take him to his new home again on Tuesday evening and he’d stay for dinner. On Wednesday Rosemary would collect him from school and he’d stay overnight, and then she’d take him to school the following morning. She’d collect him from school on Friday and he’d stay with them until Sunday, during which time he’d have a chance to meet his paternal grandparents – Edward’s parents who lived in the same village. If everything was still fine, we’d move Alex on Monday. It was agreed that he’d have the day off school for the move rather than try to cram it into the evening, and then Rosemary would take Alex into school on Tuesday.

‘So Alex is staying at the same school for now?’ Jill asked.

‘Yes,’ Lin said. ‘Although it’s an hour’s journey in the car each way, we feel it will be less disruptive for Alex to continue at his present school until Easter. Then he can start the new term at his new school.’

‘That will work well,’ Jill said, and I agreed.

‘We already have a place reserved for him at the school James goes to,’ Rosemary said.

‘Now, have I forgotten anything?’ Debbie asked, scanning her notes.

‘Moving details,’ Lin prompted.

‘Thank you. It’s generally felt that the move should take place in the morning so the child isn’t waiting around with time to grow unsettled or anxious,’ Debbie said. ‘Cathy, I suggest you have Alex all packed and ready by ten o’clock on that Monday, and then Rosemary and Edward will arrive to collect him at ten-thirty. He’ll have the rest of the day to settle in and unpack.’

We all nodded and wrote the details in our diaries.

‘I’m assuming that on Monday James will be going to school as usual?’ Lin asked Rosemary and Edward.

‘Yes,’ Edward confirmed.

‘Will we be able to see Alex once he’s left?’ I now asked. ‘I know he hasn’t been with us for long, but it would be nice if we could see him at least once.’

‘Are you happy with that?’ Debbie asked Rosemary and Edward.

‘Absolutely,’ Rosemary said. ‘We’ll stay in touch.’

‘Thank you,’ I said.

‘I’ll leave the three of you to make the arrangements for that,’ Debbie said to Rosemary, Edward and me. ‘I suggest you wait until three weeks after the move so that Alex is settled.’ Which was usual practice.

‘Will his previous carers, Graham and Sandy, be keeping in touch with Alex?’ Jill asked. ‘He was with them for some time.’

‘They are supposed to be phoning him at your house at the end of this week,’ Lin said, looking at me. ‘But don’t tell Alex in case it doesn’t happen.’ I nodded.

‘And no visit is planned?’ Jill asked. When a child has been with a carer for some time they would normally see them on a few occasions after they’d left.

‘No,’ Lin said. ‘Sandy is heavily pregnant. They have stopped fostering now.’

Jill nodded. ‘Are you going to have a LAC review for Alex while he’s at Cathy’s?’ she asked Debbie. ‘It hardly seems worth it.’

‘No. There isn’t time and there’s too much going on for Alex. It’s not necessary. We’ll have one after the move.’

Jill made a note.

‘Is there anything else?’ Debbie asked, looking around the table.

‘I’m sure I should be asking lots of questions,’ Rosemary said with a nervous laugh, ‘but I can’t think of them right now.’

Debbie smiled. ‘Don’t worry. You can phone Lin or me if you think of anything. Or Cathy if it’s about Alex’s care.’ I threw Rosemary a reassuring smile. ‘I’ll have this timetable typed up today and I’ll send each of you a copy,’ Debbie said, winding up. ‘Good luck everyone. It’s very exciting.’

‘It is,’ Rosemary said. ‘And nerve-wracking.’